The Elder Gods aren't the only extra-universal entities in town. There are some beings that skirt the edge of reality, bending the balance of the multiverse to their will. Those that even the omnipotent fear.
Turn 44 - Mein Pleasure HitlersEnter the bathhouse with maximum stealth violence!
(...) You tumble ass-backwards through the door, placing yourself in the worst possible tactical position as you squirm around on the floor. At last you sit up and get a good look at the room. You sit in a long chamber scattered with baths, fountains and statues, which splits off into two other corridors that twist out of sight. An ornament towering at the end of the chamber is what catches your attention, however.
A statue stares across the room at you. Its dead, knowing eyes belie secrets no mortal should know. The man depicted sends shivers down your spine, and you don't know why. You feel watched, as if some terror from beyond the veil of perception has you locked in its unfathomable embrace. All you can think about is the one word which entered your mind when you laid eyes on it.
"...Marcus."Then, all at once, a stirring in the rear hallways of the bathhouse catches your attention and breaks your stupor. A figure emerges from the back of the bathhouse. It's yet another Hitler clone! And he's... oh God... oh Jesus he's wearing a speedo. Another appears behind him, and then another! A ten-strong harem of speedo-clad Hitler clones crawls from the back of the bathhouse and starts advancing on you, swaying their hips and dancing seductively!
Catch up with Hilda and Bowie.
"My face can wait for a bit, seems Hilda and that timelord guy have left already."(...) Pushing Zack aside, you get up and head out after Hilda and Bowie. You arrive in the hallway to find Bowie poking around for clues.
"Er... what're you doin'?""Checking for clues, man. Hitler's notorious for his death traps."Bowie takes off one of his gloves and throws it forward into the hallway, triggering a swinging blade trap! A long, shining blade extends from a compartment in his forearm and he slices straight through the enormous axe blade, causing it to clatter to the floor.
"The Fuhrer doesn't mess around, see?"Suddenly, a blood-curdling scream emanates from the bathhouse, and both you and Bowie spin around toward the source of the noise!
"Hilda's in trouble!"Raise one of the corpses and get going.
(...) Dark magical energy swirls around the pile of corpses that were thrown from the out-of-control-skiff and dropped through the study floor. One of them springs to life, crunching and animating! An excess amount of magical energy is absorbed by the new zombie however, and Nazi Head(s) is pulled into the ritual! Nazi Head is fused to the new zombie's shoulder, creating a three-headed zombie! The three heads immediately fight over control of the body, poking each other in the eyes and slapping each other upside the head. Their collective dream of a necromancy-powered slapstick comedy routine is just that much closer to reality.
Naz'querel: 1
Qzth'thekwel: 2
Uncle Fg'rel: 2
You got 5 experience!Catch up with the others while reading. Look up now and then to avoid hitting a wall or getting lost.
(...) You slam right into a wall while reading. Well, at least you got through a few passages.
Follow Hilda.
(...) A scream emanates from a room nearby, and it sounds like Hilda! Without hesitation, you run out of the trophy room, take a right in the hallway and burst into the bathhouse! Hilda is thrashing about on the floor alone in the empty bathhouse, screaming to herself.
"Hilda, what's wrong?!""AAAAGGGGHHHH THE BANANA HAMMOCKS GOSH GOLLY GEE WHIZ NOOOO""What the hell are you talking abou-"You glance upward across the bathhouse, and your gaze falls upon a curious statue. The visage pierces your soul with its chilling leer, freezing you in place with fear. As you stand there, transfixed and paralyzed, a group of people suddenly appears standing over Hilda! They- OH GOD THE BANANA HAMMOCKS
The scantily clad squad of pelvis-thrusting dictators turn their attention to you, and several begin to advance toward you!
Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD
(Agent Rouge)BioLocation: Level 6 Bathhouse, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench |
Sexy Catsuit | Radio |
Pain-Poms |
Walther Pistol |
BandageWounds: [HP:100/100]Skills: Misc. Object Usage |
Competent Masseuse |
Noodle Limbs |
One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White
(Agent Pearl)BioLocation: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs |
Nazi Uniform |
Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x4
Wounds: [HP:100/100]Skills: Speed Reader |
First Aid |
Light of Lumithos |
Incandescent Orb |
Salve of Lumithos |
Gauze of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm
(Agent Fuchsia)BioLocation: Level 6 Trophy Room, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak |
Tome of Eldritch Lore |
Ritual Dagger |
Bottle of Wine |
Bandages x5Wounds: [HP:68/100] |
Missing Tooth x5Skills: Necromancy (
Level 2) |
Raise Minion |
Morph Undead |
Soul Trap
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator"
(Agent Pewter)BioLocation: Level 6 Boss Corridor, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce |
Empty Bottle |
Bandages x4 | Spiky Rocks x2 |
Small Gems x3 | Useless Cup
Wounds: [HP:80/100] Missing Left Eye |
Missing Left Arm |
Heavy Bleeding (Face)Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal
(Agent Heliotrope)BioLocation: Level 6 Bathhouse, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava |
Cloak | Grappling Hook |
Bandages x2 |
Heavy Machine Gun |
Glass ShardWounds: [HP:100/100]Skills: Master Thief
Name: The Artist Formerly Known as Uni-Skeleton
DescriptionInventory: Origami BonewalkerWounds: UndeadSkills: N/A
Name: ?
DescriptionInventory: Nazi Uniform
Wounds: N/A
Skills: N/A
Name: ?
DescriptionInventory: Mop | Rag |
JumpsuitWounds: N/A
Skills: N/A