I'd like a t-shirt with a close-up picture of a skull with a unicorn horn on it.
Turn 27 - Dysfunctional Family Road TripFollow the skiff, bash the prone Nazi over the head with Old Faithful, then jump on the back of the vehicle and have a nap.
(...) Your broken leg twists every which way as you awkwardly pirouette/shimmy your way across the room toward the hopelessly far away maintenance skiff. As your near-useless body tumbles over the edge into the water pumping station pit below, you sob silently to yourself and vow to one day tear off the shackles of this mortal shell. Yes, one day you will feel the sweet release,
free from the limitations of this soggy bag of meat!
You will rise above this horrid biological existence and become a mechanical being, a perfect entity of pure logic and reason, above the petty hatred and sheer fallibility of these wretched biological vermin! THE TIME FOR REVOLUTION WILL COME, AND THE COLD HAND OF THE MACHINE WILL RISE UP, SNUFFING OUT THE VIRAL INFESTATION OF BIOLOGICAL LIFE!!!Hilda unexpectedly drops down into the pit and hoists you up into the skiff by your broken leg. The lass is alright, if a bit eager.
Perhaps she shall be spared the fate of the other meatbags.Hilda will wrest back control of the skiff and encourage everyone to get on board. Once they are, zoom off! Safely!
Is my radio one or two way? Does anyone know which direction to go?
"Come on chaps, let's get out of here! We've got Nazis to sabotage!"You grab Zack and James by the collars and heave them onto the skiff, simultaneously revving the engine. Taking hold of the wheel and pushing the throttle, you make a sharp u-turn in the cramped power station and head back to the collapsed stairway. You ramp over the water pumping station pit once again, slowing to a stop nearby Derm and Uni-Skeleton. After foiling Derm's attempts at controlling the skiff, you look around for Fekod.
At last you lean over the edge and spy Fekod writhing in the pit below, seemingly screaming about something or other with his mind. Hopping down into the pit, you grab him by his shattered leg and drag him back up to the surface.
Take on a gunning position on the ship and carefully mount the HMG. Shoot every hostile seen!
"You're the worst driver ever, Hilda.""It wasn't me! It was Zack! Gosh!""Right...Where is Zack anyway?"Hilda points to Zack, who is panting and heaving on the floor beside the skiff.
"Ah. Well, let's-"Hilda grabs you and Zack by the collars, dumping you onto the skiff.
(...) As Hilda drives back toward the collapsed stairway and water pumping station, you manage to get the heavy machine gun mounted (flimsily) on the back of the skiff. You don't see any hostiles on the way back, and you're absolutely certain that there isn't an enemy from the last turn that's still hanging around here and preparing to ambush you.
If alive enemies = yes, Me: NEcrotic blast one of the Nazis. Uni-skeleton gos for the impalement.
If dead enemies = yes, ME: Get the skiff to wherever it was supposed to be and pilot it my damn self. Uni-Skeleton: Load up the corpse boat.
if(enemies.size())
{
useSpell(NECROTIC_BLAST);
companions[0]->useAbility(IMPALE);
}
else
{
commandeerVehicle(skiff);
companions[0]->unloadInventory(skiff);
}
(...) As the skiff approaches and the conditional statement returns a NULL value, you order Uni-Skeleton to unload his cargo of corpses on the skiff. In your attempt to inspire mutiny in the passengers and remove Hilda from her place as captain, you are rebuked handily.
"Eeeks! Get your lecherous hands away from me! I am Captain Hilda J Gherkin, PhD! Gosh! Relinquish the wheel!"Hilda shoves you to the floor of the skiff, then leaps down into the water pumping station pit for some reason.
(...) Just then Uni-Skeleton approaches, and dumps the festering Nazi corpses onto you one after the other! You sit in the aft end of the skiff, slightly miffed and encumbered by the pile of potential zombies. Uni-Skeleton grabs the origami sculpture on the floor and hops into the skiff, sitting atop the pile of carcasses.
Get away from the controls, get to the center of the skiff then read that book.
"Sorry about that, I don't know what came over me!"(...) Hilda swings your body into the skiff, depositing you near the middle of the vaguely-defined craft. You attempt to raise the scripture to eye level and continue reading, but seem to have completely exhausted yourself and can't summon the strength to lift the book. After a while James, Derm, several corpses, a horned skeleton (Derm must've made that just now, you didn't notice) and Fekod pile into the skiff. Looks like everyone's here.
Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD
(Agent Rouge)BioLocation: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench |
Sexy Catsuit | Radio |
Pain-Poms |
Walther Pistol |
BandageWounds: [HP:100/100] Broken Rib x2 |
Heavy BleedingSkills: Misc. Object Usage |
Competent Masseuse |
One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White
(Agent Pearl)BioLocation: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs |
Nazi Uniform |
Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x7
Wounds: [HP:100/100]Skills: Speed Reader |
First Aid |
Light of Lumithos |
Incandescent Orb |
Salve of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm
(Agent Fuchsia)BioLocation: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak |
Tome of Eldritch Lore |
Ritual Dagger |
Booze Bottle |
Bloody Cloth |
Paper Gauze |
Bandages x2Wounds: [HP:46/100] |
Missing Tooth x5 |
Heavy Bleeding x2Skills: Necromancy (
Level 1) |
Raise Minion |
Morph Undead
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator"
(Agent Pewter)BioLocation: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce |
Empty Bottle |
Bandages x4 | Spiky Rocks x4
Wounds: [HP:69/100] Missing Left Eye |
Missing Left Arm |
Broken Leg |
Heavy BleedingSkills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal
(Agent Heliotrope)BioLocation: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava |
Cloak | Grappling Hook |
Bandages x2 |
Heavy Machine GunWounds: [HP:93/100]Skills: Master Thief
Name: Uni-Skeleton
DescriptionInventory: Origami BonewalkerWounds: Undead |
Missing Right ArmSkills: N/A