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[lawastooshort]

"It wasn't me! It was Zack! Gosh!"

[micelus]

"Right...Where is Zack anyway?"

[Dermonster]

If alive enemies = yes, Me: NEcrotic blast one of the Nazis. Uni-skeleton gos for the impalement.

If dead enemies = yes, ME: Get the skiff to wherever it was supposed to be and pilot it my damn self. Uni-Skeleton: Load up the corpse boat.

[lawastooshort]

If dead enemies = yes, ME:

"Eeeks! Get your lecherous hands away from me! I am Captain Hilda J Gherkin, PhD! Gosh! Relinquish the wheel!"

[BullDog]

What in the...

"Sorry about that, I don't know what came over me!"

Get away from the controls, get to the center of the skiff then read that book.

[Gatleos]

I'd like a t-shirt with a close-up picture of a skull with a unicorn horn on it.
Turn 27 - Dysfunctional Family Road Trip

Follow the skiff, bash the prone Nazi over the head with Old Faithful, then jump on the back of the vehicle and have a nap.

(...) Your broken leg twists every which way as you awkwardly pirouette/shimmy your way across the room toward the hopelessly far away maintenance skiff. As your near-useless body tumbles over the edge into the water pumping station pit below, you sob silently to yourself and vow to one day tear off the shackles of this mortal shell. Yes, one day you will feel the sweet release, free from the limitations of this soggy bag of meat! You will rise above this horrid biological existence and become a mechanical being, a perfect entity of pure logic and reason, above the petty hatred and sheer fallibility of these wretched biological vermin! THE TIME FOR REVOLUTION WILL COME, AND THE COLD HAND OF THE MACHINE WILL RISE UP, SNUFFING OUT THE VIRAL INFESTATION OF BIOLOGICAL LIFE!!!

Hilda unexpectedly drops down into the pit and hoists you up into the skiff by your broken leg. The lass is alright, if a bit eager. Perhaps she shall be spared the fate of the other meatbags.

Hilda will wrest back control of the skiff and encourage everyone to get on board. Once they are, zoom off! Safely!
Is my radio one or two way? Does anyone know which direction to go?

"Come on chaps, let's get out of here! We've got Nazis to sabotage!"
You grab Zack and James by the collars and heave them onto the skiff, simultaneously revving the engine. Taking hold of the wheel and pushing the throttle, you make a sharp u-turn in the cramped power station and head back to the collapsed stairway. You ramp over the water pumping station pit once again, slowing to a stop nearby Derm and Uni-Skeleton. After foiling Derm's attempts at controlling the skiff, you look around for Fekod.

At last you lean over the edge and spy Fekod writhing in the pit below, seemingly screaming about something or other with his mind. Hopping down into the pit, you grab him by his shattered leg and drag him back up to the surface.

Take on a gunning position on the ship and carefully mount the HMG. Shoot every hostile seen!

"You're the worst driver ever, Hilda."
"It wasn't me! It was Zack! Gosh!"
"Right...Where is Zack anyway?"
Hilda points to Zack, who is panting and heaving on the floor beside the skiff.
"Ah. Well, let's-"
Hilda grabs you and Zack by the collars, dumping you onto the skiff.
(...) As Hilda drives back toward the collapsed stairway and water pumping station, you manage to get the heavy machine gun mounted (flimsily) on the back of the skiff. You don't see any hostiles on the way back, and you're absolutely certain that there isn't an enemy from the last turn that's still hanging around here and preparing to ambush you.

If alive enemies = yes, Me: NEcrotic blast one of the Nazis. Uni-skeleton gos for the impalement.

If dead enemies = yes, ME: Get the skiff to wherever it was supposed to be and pilot it my damn self. Uni-Skeleton: Load up the corpse boat.

if(enemies.size())
{
     useSpell(NECROTIC_BLAST);
     companions[0]->useAbility(IMPALE);
}
else
{
     commandeerVehicle(skiff);
     companions[0]->unloadInventory(skiff);
}

(...) As the skiff approaches and the conditional statement returns a NULL value, you order Uni-Skeleton to unload his cargo of corpses on the skiff. In your attempt to inspire mutiny in the passengers and remove Hilda from her place as captain, you are rebuked handily.
"Eeeks! Get your lecherous hands away from me! I am Captain Hilda J Gherkin, PhD! Gosh! Relinquish the wheel!"
Hilda shoves you to the floor of the skiff, then leaps down into the water pumping station pit for some reason.
(...) Just then Uni-Skeleton approaches, and dumps the festering Nazi corpses onto you one after the other! You sit in the aft end of the skiff, slightly miffed and encumbered by the pile of potential zombies. Uni-Skeleton grabs the origami sculpture on the floor and hops into the skiff, sitting atop the pile of carcasses.

Get away from the controls, get to the center of the skiff then read that book.

"Sorry about that, I don't know what came over me!"
(...) Hilda swings your body into the skiff, depositing you near the middle of the vaguely-defined craft. You attempt to raise the scripture to eye level and continue reading, but seem to have completely exhausted yourself and can't summon the strength to lift the book. After a while James, Derm, several corpses, a horned skeleton (Derm must've made that just now, you didn't notice) and Fekod pile into the skiff. Looks like everyone's here.

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:100/100] Broken Rib x2 | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x7
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Speed Reader | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Booze Bottle | Bloody Cloth | Paper Gauze | Bandages x2
Wounds: [HP:46/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Heavy Bleeding x2
Skills: Necromancy (Level 1) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4 | Spiky Rocks x4
Wounds: [HP:69/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Broken Leg | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: Underworks, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2 | Heavy Machine Gun
Wounds: [HP:93/100]
Skills: Master Thief

Spoiler: Uni-Skeleton (click to show/hide)

Name: Uni-Skeleton
Description
Inventory: Origami Bonewalker
Wounds: Undead | Missing Right Arm
Skills: N/A

[lawastooshort]

"To the depths! Tally ho! Gosh."
Hilda turns on her radio for instruction, and then pilots the skiff to the depths of the fortress, or as per suggested direction, taking evasive maneuvers where necessary!

"I say. We really need to find that Nazi world-jumping technology. And then smash it in the face! Damn Nazis! Gosh!"

((Any preferred destinations chaps?))

[micelus]

"Yes, perhaps we could find the apartments of this Hitler person?"

[lawastooshort]

"And smash them in the face?"

[micelus]

"Most probably."


Vote for barging into Hitler's office/apartment!

[Dermonster]

Browse book.

"'s long as we go somewhere. I got plans for these corpses lass, and I can't do it here."

[Sinpwn]

"Ach, aye! I'm all fer getting that tech. Might find some stuff on the way to make raiding the more secure places easier."
Fekod commands his leg to heal faster by utilizing his IRON WILL. Also, shifty eyes eye.

[BullDog]

Rest up, then read that book. If I learn anything that can be used to heal Fekod leg faster, then use it, unless there are drawbacks.

[Gatleos]

Sometimes the actions just work together in ways you wouldn't expect, you know?
Turn 28 - For Want of a Leg

Hilda turns on her radio for instruction, and then pilots the skiff to the depths of the fortress, or as per suggested direction, taking evasive maneuvers where necessary!

"To the depths! Tally ho! Gosh."
(...) Mounting the radio on the dashboard of the skiff, you tune it to the usual frequency and press forward with the throttle. The skiff glides around the water pumping station and heads down through the sloped hallway, continuing through the generator room.
"I say. We really need to find that Nazi world-jumping technology. And then smash it in the face! Damn Nazis! Gosh!"

Vote for barging into Hitler's office/apartment!

"Yes, perhaps we could find the apartments of this Hitler person?"
"And smash them in the face?"
"Most probably."
You reach a mutual agreement with Hilda, and sit back against the skiff wall. As your attention drifts upward, you notice a group of Nazi guardsmen that have gathered on the catwalk above and are preparing to open fire on the skiff!
"Uh... guys?"

Browse book.

"'S long as we go somewhere. I got plans for these corpses lass, and I can't do it here."
"GUYS?!"
"Quiet, thief."
(...) You snuggle into your corpse blanket and scan through the book, but can't find anything important and end up reading through a few passages about cheap parlor tricks involving making severed fingers dance on bar tables.

The skiff shudders and groans slightly, and you look up from your book. Nothing appears to have changed, so you go back to reading.

Fekod commands his leg to heal faster by utilizing his IRON WILL. Also, shifty eyes eye.

"Ach, aye! I'm all fer getting that tech. Might find some stuff on the way to make raiding the more secure places easier."
(...) Turning your attention to your gimped leg, you focus your DWARVEN WILL OF IRON on the bone. The healing accelerates rapidly, and your leg becomes whole again! In a drunken stupor of orgasmic glee, you cry out in jubilation and ram your newly-healed leg through the opposite wall of the skiff next to Derm! Your foot passes through the sheet of metal and hits a sentry drone, which had apparently been waiting in ambush and attached itself to the side of the skiff just now. The drone is punted through the air and ricochets off one of the generators, activating its mounted gun!
"GUUUUUYS!!"
Just as the row of Nazis are about to open fire on the approaching skiff, the heavily damaged sentry bot flies up into the upper level of the generator room like a murderous frisbee and ventilates the whole group with its belt-fed weapon! It then passes over the catwalk and makes a return trip, landing in the middle of the skiff and bouncing around the floor with its machine gun firing straight upward toward the ceiling!

Rest up, then read that book. If I learn anything that can be used to heal Fekod leg faster, then use it, unless there are drawbacks.

(...) You read through several chapters' worth of scripture, learning quite a bit about healing magic in the process. At last you learn the final spell in the arsenal of a journeyman cleric of Lumithos, the Gauze of Lumithos! You immediately test it out on Fekod, causing his leg to instantly heal. You then go back to reading for a few moments, until you are interrupted by a noise. Peeking over your book again, you find that Hilda is screaming and swerving the skiff from side to side. Also, there appears to be a metal object in the middle of the skiff, spraying bullets upward. Oh my.

Status
Player: lawastooshort
Name: Hilda J Gherkin PhD (Agent Rouge)
Bio
Location: City Generator B, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: A large wrench | Sexy Catsuit | Radio | Pain-Poms | Walther Pistol | Bandage
Wounds: [HP:100/100] Broken Rib | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Misc. Object Usage | Competent Masseuse | One-Two Punch
Player: BullDog
Name: Zack The White (Agent Pearl)
Bio
Location: City Generator B, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Healing herbs | Nazi Uniform | Scripture of Lumithos | Bandages x7
Wounds: [HP:100/100]
Skills: Speed Reader | First Aid | Light of Lumithos | Incandescent Orb | Salve of Lumithos | Gauze of Lumithos
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm (Agent Fuchsia)
Bio
Location: City Generator B, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Pink Cloak | Tome of Eldritch Lore | Ritual Dagger | Booze Bottle | Bloody Cloth | Paper Gauze | Bandages x2
Wounds: [HP:50/100] | Missing Tooth x5 | Heavy Bleeding x2
Skills: Necromancy (Level 1) | Raise Minion | Morph Undead
Player: Sinpwn
Name: Fekod "The Master Explodinator" (Agent Pewter)
Bio
Location: City Generator B, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Old Faithful | Funky Hat | Leather Trench Coat | Eye Patch | Tabasco Sauce | Empty Bottle | Bandages x4 | Spiky Rocks x4
Wounds: [HP:73/100] Missing Left Eye | Missing Left Arm | Heavy Bleeding
Skills: Explosives Expert
Player: micelus
Name: Baron James Ostal (Agent Heliotrope)
Bio
Location: City Generator B, Nazi Citadel
Inventory: Skeleton Key | Balaclava | Cloak | Grappling Hook | Bandages x2 | Heavy Machine Gun
Wounds: [HP:97/100]
Skills: Master Thief

Spoiler: Uni-Skeleton (click to show/hide)

Name: Uni-Skeleton
Description
Inventory: Origami Bonewalker
Wounds: Undead | Missing Right Arm
Skills: N/A

[lawastooshort]

"I say!" says Hilda, very briefly looking back to find out what the commotion is, "Can someone see to that gun thing? Thanks chaps! Onwards and downwards! To the Midget Nazi's Mole-Lair!"

Continue appropriately piloting the skiff, assuming that my comrades will, for example, take the bot and mount it somewhere useful.

"Do you want me to take any evasive action? I'm sure if I spun this thing upside down that gun contraption would probably fall off! Just say the word! Gosh, how exciting! Hold on tight chaps!"