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Author Topic: dragons are theives!  (Read 3918 times)

malimbar04

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dragons are theives!
« on: September 23, 2011, 11:29:16 am »

So I decided I wanted to capture a dragon. The first step is to find out where the dragons are, right? I go to legends, find the first dragon, and read the history. Holy armok, I love this guy. entries consist entirely of things he's eaten, things he's stolen, and becoming the enemy of various groups. He's eaten 15 elves and 26 humans... and ONE dwarf. I think we gave him indigestion. I sense an opportunity for training.

but more often than he eats, he steals things. wooden and bone things form the elves are the most common.
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No! No! I will not massacre my children. Instead, I'll make them corpulent on crappy mass-produced quarry bush biscuits and questionably grown mushroom alcohol, and then send them into the military when they turn 12...

Ultimuh

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2011, 11:31:06 am »

So I decided I wanted to capture a dragon. The first step is to find out where the dragons are, right? I go to legends, find the first dragon, and read the history. Holy armok, I love this guy. entries consist entirely of things he's eaten, things he's stolen, and becoming the enemy of various groups. He's eaten 15 elves and 26 humans... and ONE dwarf. I think we gave him indigestion. I sense an opportunity for training.

but more often than he eats, he steals things. wooden and bone things form the elves are the most common.

How else are dragons going to get treassure for their hoard?
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Necro910

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2011, 11:46:22 am »

So I decided I wanted to capture a dragon. The first step is to find out where the dragons are, right? I go to legends, find the first dragon, and read the history. Holy armok, I love this guy. entries consist entirely of things he's eaten, things he's stolen, and becoming the enemy of various groups. He's eaten 15 elves and 26 humans... and ONE dwarf. I think we gave him indigestion. I sense an opportunity for training.

but more often than he eats, he steals things. wooden and bone things form the elves are the most common.

How else are dragons going to get treassure for their hoard?
Dragons have the compulsive need to hoard. SO LET THE ELVES BECOME POORRRRR

Wait, is it possible to demote a bunch of hippies living in the forest financially?

Xen0n

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2011, 11:57:19 am »

So I decided I wanted to capture a dragon. The first step is to find out where the dragons are, right? I go to legends, find the first dragon, and read the history. Holy armok, I love this guy. entries consist entirely of things he's eaten, things he's stolen, and becoming the enemy of various groups. He's eaten 15 elves and 26 humans... and ONE dwarf. I think we gave him indigestion. I sense an opportunity for training.

but more often than he eats, he steals things. wooden and bone things form the elves are the most common.

How else are dragons going to get treassure for their hoard?
Dragons have the compulsive need to hoard. SO LET THE ELVES BECOME POORRRRR

Wait, is it possible to demote a bunch of hippies living in the forest financially?

Take away their Rat Weed and -Stone Pots-
« Last Edit: September 23, 2011, 12:02:51 pm by Xen0n »
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Necro910

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2011, 12:00:14 pm »

So I decided I wanted to capture a dragon. The first step is to find out where the dragons are, right? I go to legends, find the first dragon, and read the history. Holy armok, I love this guy. entries consist entirely of things he's eaten, things he's stolen, and becoming the enemy of various groups. He's eaten 15 elves and 26 humans... and ONE dwarf. I think we gave him indigestion. I sense an opportunity for training.

but more often than he eats, he steals things. wooden and bone things form the elves are the most common.

How else are dragons going to get treassure for their hoard?
Dragons have the compulsive need to hoard. SO LET THE ELVES BECOME POORRRRR

Wait, is it possible to demote a bunch of hippies living in the forest financially?

Take away their Rat Weed and -Stone Pots-
Don't you mean rope reed?  :P

And since when do they have stone pots? They only ever have cloth and wood. Damn hypocrites  ::)

Ultimuh

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2011, 12:13:41 pm »

So I decided I wanted to capture a dragon. The first step is to find out where the dragons are, right? I go to legends, find the first dragon, and read the history. Holy armok, I love this guy. entries consist entirely of things he's eaten, things he's stolen, and becoming the enemy of various groups. He's eaten 15 elves and 26 humans... and ONE dwarf. I think we gave him indigestion. I sense an opportunity for training.

but more often than he eats, he steals things. wooden and bone things form the elves are the most common.

How else are dragons going to get treassure for their hoard?
Dragons have the compulsive need to hoard. SO LET THE ELVES BECOME POORRRRR

Wait, is it possible to demote a bunch of hippies living in the forest financially?

Take away their Rat Weed and -Stone Pots-
Don't you mean rope reed?  :P

And since when do they have stone pots? They only ever have cloth and wood. Damn hypocrites  ::)

Dragons took them, that is why Elves have little of value.
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Tevish Szat

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2011, 12:15:49 pm »

The answer is simple: whatever the ELVES value, the dragon takes. 

You see, it's not the intrinsic monetary worth of a thing that's important to the hoard, though that of course helps.  It's the value the previous owner placed in it, how much they wanted or needed it.  A child's xxrag dollxx, leaking straw and missing one button eye, is just as worthy of hoarding as some king's 1187th ☼Gold Statue of harem girls☼, if the child's heart and soul are utterly crushed when the dragon takes the doll away. 

It's not about accumulating wealth, pricey things that provide some big number of dorfbucks that you can stick on your lair and show off to all your friends cowed mortal worshippers, it's about having priceless things that no number, no matter how large, can properly describe the worth of.  That said, most sane creatures value valuables, so the hoard tends to be pretty shiny too.
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A medium-sized humanoid fond of fantasy and science-fiction.

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Oliolli

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2011, 01:41:52 pm »

In that case... I hope, for the dragons sake, that they never, ever rob Necro910...
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Necro910

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2011, 01:45:52 pm »

In that case... I hope, for the dragons sake, that they never, ever rob Necro910...
It would turn out bad.

For everyone.

EVERYWHERE.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHH

Gizogin

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2011, 01:46:28 pm »

But why?  Dragons can swim in Necro910 stuff.  Unless you mean his retribution as the thing they should fear.
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Necro910

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2011, 02:03:39 pm »

But why?  Dragons can swim in Necro910 stuff.  Unless you mean his retribution as the thing they should fear.
But they cannot breath it!

DROWN YOU REPTILIAN BASTARDS, DROWNNNNN

elf-fondling human

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2011, 02:16:01 pm »

Thing is, [like someone else (whom I'm unable to remember right now) said a few days ago], dragons seem to have a shiny things fetish.
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A Spoony Bard

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2011, 04:20:28 pm »

Thing is, [like someone else (whom I'm unable to remember right now) said a few days ago], dragons seem to have a shiny things fetish.
Does that mean the elves' wood is shiny? :P
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elf-fondling human

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2011, 04:39:05 pm »

As one whose policy is to only fondle elven women, I'm afraid I couldn't tell you.
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Ultimuh

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Re: dragons are theives!
« Reply #14 on: September 23, 2011, 05:34:17 pm »

As one whose policy is to only fondle elven women, I'm afraid I couldn't tell you.

Good policy that, might make use of it next time I encounter elves of the female kind.
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