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[Sinpwn]

Completely disregard everything else and try to break the line of sight with the arriving drones by hiding behind other living beings.

[Yoink]

Danny's getting the hang of this. "Whoo! Yeah! Um, wow... You really tore that guy's arm off good!"
He gives Bill a pat of encouragement, then wheels around again for another swoop, this time on Tracy. He shall lob a couple of paperweights at Sinclair, Tracy, Daniel and any other decent targets as he goes, happily living out his childhood dreams of riding dinosaurs!

[lawastooshort]

Tuesday: 0916 hours.

Daniel decides to do what’s best. Helping Tracy get Danny killed.

Danny's getting the hang of this. "Whoo! Yeah! Um, wow... You really tore that guy's arm off good!"
He gives Bill a pat of encouragement, then wheels around again for another swoop, this time on Tracy. He shall lob a couple of paperweights at Sinclair, Tracy, Daniel and any other decent targets as he goes, happily living out his childhood dreams of riding dinosaurs!

Tracy races across the ground chasing after Danny on his flying Pterodactyl. "Get back here you alien freak!" She continues to shoot flames from her face at him.

THREE WAY MULTI DEATH COMBAT ENTERED!

"Get back here you alien freak!" shouts Tracy, as she sprints through the office chasing Danny and his pterodactyl Bill. “Get back here!”

“Yeah!” shouts Daniel, deciding to somehow help Tracy out, and choosing moral support as the best help he could give seeing as she is shooting flames from her face and he can’t work out how he can practically help her with that! “Get back here you wierdo!”

[Init: Daniel vs Tracy vs Danny 1 vs 6 vs 4: Tracy wins!]

Catching up with the shadow the pterodactyl casts upon the office floor, Tracy looks up and shoots further massive jets of flame from her face! Thirty foot bursts of flame set the ceiling on fire, but otherwise totally miss! Despite Daniel’s encouragement [2+1]!

Danny wheels Bill round for a strafing run on the puny humans below and lobs his masterwork hefty paperweights at Sinclair [3], Tracy [1] and Daniel [6]. Daniel is hit right in the face! His nose is smashed!

Damage Inflicted: 8hp!

Danny misses the newly arrived Sinclair, and tries to lob another at Tracy, but he strikes Bill instead! He starts hurtling horribly out of control! He just about manages to guide his falling pterodactyl towards Tracy for one dying kamikaze swoop, but at the last moment Bill passes out from the pain [1]! Danny crash lands on Tracy’s head! Bill is immediately struck down! Both Tracy [1] and Danny [2] are horrifically injured! Tracy’s head is crushed! Danny’s arms are broken!

Damage Inflicted: 8hp!
Damage Sustained: 14hp!
Wounds Inflicted: Tracy: Crushed Head!
Wounds Sustained: Danny: Broken Arms!

Item Lost: Bill the Pterodactyl!
Item Lost: Quite a few exclamation marks!

Completely disregard everything else and try to break the line of sight with the arriving drones by hiding behind other living beings.

Worried about the incoming Submission Drones, you desperately try to hide behind the other contestants. You turn invisible [6]! You flee to the north western corner of the room!

Ability Acquired: Invisibility!

...         ...         ...         ...         ...         ...

”Damn staples!]

Bruce Halford tries to destaple his groin from the floor so he can get back his mech-pants and flamethrower the bastard who stole them to death. He fails [2] to remove all the staples! He is still stuck to the floor!

However, he’s still got his Submission Drones: they arrive [4] through the air vents in the centre of the room, gently gliding to the floor. They start activating and looking for targets to pacify.

SUBMISSION DRONES ACTIVATED!

…   …   …   …   …   …   
 

Spoiler: Daniel (click to show/hide)

Items: Science equipment, Cold thrower, faulty robotic power suit, Mech-pants.
Hit points: 9
Wounds: Right arm eaten!
Morale: -5
Failure Rating: 17.
Abilities: Adventure Mode Travel! , Invent
Location: NW Corner
 

Spoiler: Danny (click to show/hide)

Items: Half a bagel, one oversized & oversharpened cheese grater, electric pencil sharpener, bunch of masterwork hefty paperweights.
Hit points: 10
Wounds: Broken arms!
Morale: -5
Failure Rating: 20.
Abilities: Mighty Power!, Robot-Dinosaur summoning.
Location: In the air above the NW corner!
 

Spoiler: Tracy Arkins (click to show/hide)

Items:
Hit points: 11
Wounds: No face, only one ear! Only one eye! (the right one!). Crushed head!
Morale: -13
Failure Rating: 42.
Abilities: Head Smasher!
Mental Ability:Crazy Bitch! Inferno Stare!
Location: NW Corner
Achievement Unlocked! First kill!
Achievement Unlocked! Dinoslayer!
 

Spoiler: Sinclair Sleen (click to show/hide)

Items: Staple gun!
Hit points: 25
Wounds: None
Morale: -0
Failure Rating: 10.
Abilities: MIND FLAYING! Invisibility!
Location: NW Corner
Achievement Unlocked: Groin Stapler!

Spoiler: BRUCE HALFORD (click to show/hide)

Items: Mech-suit minus pants, flamethrowers x 1, Eyes of Doom
Hit points: 58 (including mech-suit)
Wounds: Left arm chewed off!
Morale: 0
Failure Rating: -100.
Abilities: Daughter Summoning! Death Grip! CEO and Overlord! Submission Drone Commander!
Location: Directly above you! And in the NE corner!
 

[Theodolus]

Tracy grabs a conveniently placed computer monitor and uses it to crush Danny's head in once and for all!

[Sinpwn]

Keep the the edges of the office and run through the north west corner to the south west corner, stapling everyone I pass, focusing on BRUCE HALFORD.

[Ochita]

HACK THOSE DRONES

As in computer hack!

[Yoink]

"Nooo! Bill!" Danny is distraught. He's also sprawled on the foor with broken arms, and surrounded by enemies.
Knowing he's mere seconds from a brutal death as he sees the hideous Tracy approaching, he will once more touch and activate his magic tattoo! If his arms are too injured to do so, he will use his tongue, or any other convenient body part! He will summon a massive plesiosaur to stand over him, shielding him from his foes as he gets up and runs away! If necessary, he uses Mighty Power to aid in his summoning.

[lawastooshort]

Tuesday: 0918 hours.

HACK THOSE DRONES

You log on to the nearest computer terminal and start computer hacking the submission drones: you manage to get past their first wall of security and think you’ve figured out how to make them bend to your will, but you can’t quite get them under your control just yet [3].

"Nooo! Bill!" Danny is distraught. He's also sprawled on the floor with broken arms, and surrounded by enemies.
Knowing he's mere seconds from a brutal death as he sees the hideous Tracy approaching, he will once more touch and activate his magic tattoo! If his arms are too injured to do so, he will use his tongue, or any other convenient body part! He will summon a massive plesiosaur to stand over him, shielding him from his foes as he gets up and runs away! If necessary, he uses Mighty Power to aid in his summoning.

Tracy grabs a conveniently placed computer monitor and uses it to crush Danny's head in once and for all!

DEATH COMBAT CONTINUED!

[Init Danny vs Tracy: 4 vs 1: Danny wins!]

"Nooo! Bill!"

Danny is sprawled on the floor with broken arms, surrounded by Tracy, approaching fast with a 42” flatscreen plasma monitor! He frantically starts licking his arm with the force of Mighty Power! It snaps off! [1+Mighty Power!] He tries to run away! In his blind one armed panic he runs straight into Tracy, knocking her to the floor [6]: the plasma monitor flies into the air! It crashes down upon their skulls! Danny’s brain is split! Tracy’s brain is bruised! Danny is struck down!

Damage Sustained: 6hp!
Wound Sustained: Licked off your arm!
Damage Sustained: 7hp!
Deceased!

Damage Inflicted: Tracy: 4hp!

DEATH COMBAT FATALITY!

Keep to the edges of the office and run through the north west corner to the south west corner, stapling everyone I pass, focusing on BRUCE HALFORD.

You sprint round the perimeter of the officefield, firing your staple gun in burst mode at every one you pass. You invisibly shoot Daniel: you materialise as you do so! You hit him in the hand [4]! He’s put off his computer hacking! You re-invisibilise and run past the fallen Tracy, firing off a burst, but the staples bounce off the monitor covering her head [2]. You re-invisibilise and flip to full auto and empty the magazine of staples at Bruce Halford! He is peppered with staple holes! They bounce off the upper armoured half of the GenCorp CEO, but his legs are covered in staple wounds, and he starts bleeding heavily [5]!

Damage Inflicted: Daniel: 2hp!
Damage Inflicted: Bruce Halford: 24hp!

...         ...         ...         ...         ...         ...

”Damn staples!

Bruce Halford is still stuck to the floor, and his legs are covered in staple holes! He destaples his groin from the floor [5] and activates infrared vision on his mech helmet. It malfunctions badly! His ears are burnt [1]! He lets off his flamethrower in raging anger, and it sets a waste paper basket alight.

Damage Sustained! 5hp!

Meanwhile the not quite yet computer hacked Submission Drones identify targets to pacify: the choose Daniel! Their Submission Drone senses must have tingled , aware that he was planning their doom! They whir over to him, and try to pacify his feet [4]: he is further distracted from his computer hacking!

Wound Inflicted! Pacified feet!

…   …   …   …   …   …   
 

Spoiler: Daniel (click to show/hide)

Items: Science equipment, Cold thrower, faulty robotic power suit, Mech-pants.
Hit points: 9
Wounds: Right arm eaten! Pacified feet!
Morale: -5
Failure Rating: 17.
Abilities: Adventure Mode Travel! , Invent
Location: NW Corner
 

Spoiler: Danny is DECEASED (click to show/hide)

Items: Half a bagel, one oversized & oversharpened cheese grater, electric pencil sharpener, bunch of masterwork hefty paperweights.
Hit points: -3
Wounds: Broken arms! Arm licked off! Split brain!
Morale: -5
Failure Rating: 20.
Abilities: Mighty Power!, Robot-Dinosaur summoning.
Location: In the air above the NW corner!
 

Spoiler: Tracy Arkins (click to show/hide)

Items:
Hit points: 7
Wounds: No face, only one ear! Only one eye! (the right one!). Crushed head! Bruised brain!
Morale: -13
Failure Rating: 42.
Abilities: Head Smasher!
Mental Ability:Crazy Bitch! Inferno Stare!
Location: NW Corner
Achievement Unlocked! First kill!
Achievement Unlocked! Dinoslayer!
Achievement Unlocked: Accidental Slaughter!
 

Spoiler: Sinclair Sleen (click to show/hide)

Items: Staple gun!
Hit points: 25
Wounds: None
Morale: -0
Failure Rating: 10.
Abilities: MIND FLAYING! Invisibility!
Location: SW Corner
Achievement Unlocked: Groin Stapler!

Spoiler: BRUCE HALFORD (click to show/hide)

Items: Mech-suit minus pants, flamethrowers x 1, Eyes of Doom
Hit points: 29 (including mech-suit)
Wounds: Left arm chewed off!
Morale: 0
Failure Rating: -100.
Abilities: Daughter Summoning! Death Grip! CEO and Overlord! Submission Drone Commander!
Location: Directly above you! And in the NE corner! Possibly!
 

[Yoink]

"Gaaaaah--*" Crack!As RoboDino Warrior Danny is cruelly struck down, the inter-dimensional dinosaur armies let out a deafening roar of pain, fury and sorrow, and their minions appear to drag the fallen one's body back to rest in the plane of Dinosaurs, with a flash of rainbow lights of course!


...Wow, I licked my arm off?! I'm never gonna look at the 'tongue' smiley the same way again.... D:
Best superpower malfunction ever.

Edit: Stupid typo.

[Sinpwn]

Wheel around and run back to the North West corner, flaying Bruce Halford's mind when I arrive while screaming "I DESERVE A PROMOTION!"

[Ochita]

KEEP THE HACKING UP

[Theodolus]

Tracy groaned and crawled to her feet. Seeing the inter-dimensional robo-armies taking Danny away she is comforted in knowing that she was right about him being an alien. She feels re-vitalized! She Inferno Stares Daniel to death!

Also, I'm claiming the kill since it was my TV that killed Danny...

[lawastooshort]

Tracy groaned and crawled to her feet. Seeing the inter-dimensional robo-armies taking Danny away she is comforted in knowing that she was right about him being an alien. She feels re-vitalized! She Inferno Stares Daniel to death!

Also, I'm claiming the kill since it was my TV that killed Danny...

That's true.

Achievement Unlocked: Accidental Slaughter!

[Ochita]

wait, no..

Adventure mode travel awayyyy~!

[Powder Miner]

I had the most awesome death/turn before death of everyone.