Monday: 10.27am "Urgh... how the hell did dead pigeons end up in here, too?" There probably wasn't going to be an answer to his question. Sato sighed and used his foot to move as many pigeon parts out of the way as possible while wiping his hands off on the legs of his uniform. Dimly he remembered he was supposed to be moving a dead pigeon already; well, if that woman had taken care of it for him at least he now had 'evidence' he had done so. With a disgusted sigh, he exited the newly-repaired lift and went back to his work station to get a broom and start sweeping the corridors.
You head back to your work station to get a broom and start sweeping the corridors [6]. You're sweeping so damn hard that you don't even notice when the boss comes up to you.
"Hey Satoshi - I heard you helped out with that lift there. Thanks very much - you know, that's above and beyond. Why don't you go take a coffee break?"
Morale Boost! Whoa! Extra coffee! Extra break! Actual thanks!
Success! Helped out a colleague.
Task Assigned! Drink coffee!
Failure Rating: 7.
Morale: 5.
Tappity tappity tappity...ah damn, burnt out another keyboard?
Try powering down and restarting the computer after I've backed up the work I was doing. If the computer is fine, go make sure the lift is working right...if the computer is broken hang an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on it.
Then return, and inform the boss the lift is complete. Ask him if he would prefer the professor to have a *lovely* escort such as myself, to welcome him to the meeting. Mostly to keep him from dying in some unlikely accident.
You try powering down the computer - turning it off and on should work [1]. But IT have disabled the option to turn off without installing the mandatory security updates and just as it gets through installing Windows update 3 of 7, the keyboard bursts into flames! It quickly spreads to the pile of papers you had next to the computer, setting the side of the monitor alight! Ah man, you should have just unplugged the damn thing, too busy thinking about trying to impress your boss... At least you haven't set your hair on fire yet, it was pretty close for a second there, but you don't look so *lovely* right now.
Morale Boost! Nothing so exciting has happened for WEEKS!
Fail! Work station on fire!
No Task Assigned!Failure Rating: 13.
Morale: -1
Call maintenance from someone's cube and tell them that a runaway mail cart broke down the door- use the name on the cube. If the user's not around in five minutes, find and install the keyboard myself.
Looking at the wrecked door, you wonder what to do. But you didn't get to level 1 support without being able to think fast eh! You get to the nearest cube and log a maintenance call under some other dude's name [5]. Five minutes go by, you decide to go and install the keyboard anyway, so you enter the office with the busted down door. There's a note on the desk:
GOT TO GO FOR A MEETING, BACK IN 30 MINUTES. MANAGED TO INSTALL KEYBOARD BUT CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO UNINSTALL OLD ONE. THANKS.
Morale Boost! Oh wait, I don't have to pay!
Fail! Shouldn't you have got that done by now?
Task Assigned! Help install keyboard!
Failure Rating: 13.
Morale: -1.
Dump papers in trash, take coffee break.
Figuring no one's gonna miss a pile of papers you'd only picked up to make yourself look busy, you wander off towards the coffee maching, dumping the papers in a bin as you walk past [5]. You vend yourself a coffee, take a chair in the empty coffee area, and put your feet up [4].
Morale Boost! Coffee!
Task Completed! Those stacks of paper are FILED HARD!
Failure Rating: 8.
Morale: 5.
Toby tries to steady his nerves, throwing up wouldn't leave a good impression to the boss. While the science lady is busy tinkering with stuff, he sneaks one of the test tubs into his pocket.
You do pretty good at keeping your stomach contents where they should be, well, just about [3], and when the researcher turns her back you sneak a test tube of the hazardous gas into your pocket [1]. You stand as the woman turns back round to hand you the next questionnaire, and when you sit down again you crush the test tube in your trouser pocket! You don't want cry out in pain though - if she sees you've stolen company research material, that's you done for. FIred. Jail. Everything. Hell, perhaps you'll even get sent to see Bruce Halford. SHIT.
Whilst trying to surpress the cry of pain from the shard of test tube that's pierced your thigh, you realise that the smell of the contents is starting to spread, seeping into your clothes. OH DEAR GOD IT'S THE WORST THING YOU EVER SMELT!
"Hey, do you need a sick bag as well? I'm afraid that sample
is pretty bad. I've had a lot of complaints about that one. Here."
The woman looks pretty concerned when she sees your face and walks towards you with a paper back, but as you get up to take it from her you slip in the blood that's been running down your leg without you noticing. You fall face down on the floor at her feet, and just as you're about to haul yourself up using the low table, you vomit!
Morale Drop! Bleeding hard!
Morale Drop! Slight facial injury!
Morale Drop! Vomited on self!
Fail! Vomited on a superior!
Fail! Still haven't completed the research!
Task Assigned! Quick bit of research!
Failure Rating: 14.
Morale: -6.
Daniel hurries to the bathroom, and trys to clean the toilets to the best of what he has. He also cleans the coffee away.
You get down to the bathroom, have an ineffective go at cleaning your newly stained shirt [2], and start on the toilet. It's a pretty solid blockage though, and the cleaning products you have just don't seem to do the trick [2]. It looks like there's only one thing for it...
The words of the boss echo about inside your head... "elbow deep... elbow deep..."
Morale Drop! Oh man. That's not right. It's just not fair.
Fail! Dammit son, how long does it take to unblock a toilet?
Task Assigned! Unblock toilet!
Failure Rating: 14.
Morale: -3.