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Author Topic: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG  (Read 37179 times)

Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #240 on: September 07, 2011, 01:40:25 pm »

Itnetlor, you could make a tiny clowncar. Sieges broken in an instant! No defences can stop it!
I dunno, I need to know how to build or grow myself a TARDIS if I expect to build myself a clowncar. Those things defy the laws of physics. There are so few places that get imports from Galifrey.

Speaking of which:
373. I am not allowed to use time/space to telefrag my enemies.

Xegeth

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #241 on: September 07, 2011, 02:35:12 pm »

374 I must not treat random encounters as puzzles.
375 The average adventurer shouldn't need to carry more than five or six healing potions. 50 is excessive.
376 I may not attempt to bypass puzzles with a pick axe.
377 After being given a quest by a god, I must not pick a random city to visit instead. Especially not one on another plane.
378 I should try to avoid spending more time walking on the walls than on the floor. This is doubly important when I'm only level 3.
379 The warlock should never have more powerful healing than the cleric.
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Darvi

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #242 on: September 07, 2011, 02:37:04 pm »

380: Anything that results in Hitler being killed gets ceremoniously congratulated, then retroactively undone.
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Aklyon

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #243 on: September 07, 2011, 02:40:10 pm »

380: Anything that results in Hitler being killed gets ceremoniously congratulated, then retroactively undone.
Does that include WWII?
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Crystalline (SG)
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Quote from: RedKing
It's known as the Oppai-Kaiju effect. The islands of Japan generate a sort anti-gravity field, which allows breasts to behave as if in microgravity. It's also what allows Godzilla and friends to become 50 stories tall, and lets ninjas run up the side of a skyscraper.

Darvi

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #244 on: September 07, 2011, 02:45:52 pm »

Correction: Anything that results in Hitler being killed prematurely gets ceremoniously congratulated, then retroactively undone.
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Johnfalcon99977

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #245 on: September 07, 2011, 04:17:32 pm »

I know I haven't played many BAY12 RPGs, but this can't go unsaid...

381. Enemies attacking at me with Ranged Weaponry no longer suffer a penalty when I am running directly at them.
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Taricus

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #246 on: September 07, 2011, 04:20:03 pm »

382. Not allowed to negotiate with the enemy when your boss is charging them...
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Aklyon

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #247 on: September 07, 2011, 04:25:27 pm »

382. Not allowed to negotiate with the enemy when your boss is charging them...
What if you're a double agent? (I'm mostly just doing this for most of them to be silly at this point :) )
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Crystalline (SG)
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Quote from: RedKing
It's known as the Oppai-Kaiju effect. The islands of Japan generate a sort anti-gravity field, which allows breasts to behave as if in microgravity. It's also what allows Godzilla and friends to become 50 stories tall, and lets ninjas run up the side of a skyscraper.

Taricus

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #248 on: September 07, 2011, 04:26:40 pm »

Well, you'd do that when they aren't about to get their heads lopped off or such.
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shadenight123

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #249 on: September 07, 2011, 04:31:37 pm »

383) you do not, by anychance, go against a vampire the masquerade character who can roll 60 dices in one round. and rerolls also the nines.
383B) you can however place him in a car and throw him off a cliff...he won't know how to open a door.
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“Well,” he said. “We’re in the Forgotten hunting grounds I take it. Your screams just woke them up early. Congratulations, Lyara.”
“Do something!” she whispered, trying to keep her sight on all of them at once.
Basileus clapped his hands once. The Forgotten took a step forward, attracted by the sound.
“There, I did something. I clapped. I like clapping,” he said. -The Investigator And The Case Of The Missing Brain.

Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #250 on: September 07, 2011, 05:03:26 pm »

384. Even if I have the fortitude to, I cannot bait myself (body, mind, or soul) for demonic possession in order to imprison and hold possessive demons ransom. (Or as I call the technique, soul snaring)
 384a. The first few times were clever, but now the devil's (or denizens of Hell) onto your game.
  384aa. Angels will stop helping you if you're indiscriminate with who you snare.
 384b. The Too Spicy for Yog Sothoth trope can only apply so many times.
  384ba. My annoying personality when entrapping demons in my body, mind, or soul cannot cause them to commit suicide or convert into angels.
  384bb. When even God Himself (with the possibility of the Devil agreeing) is starting to call out "What the Hell Hero!", then you're guaranteed to stay immortal, but blind, deaf, and dumb for eternity. Sparing Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Immortal and Mortal realms from your tyranny.
385. When playing as a rogue, I'm not allowed to have "♪Cathrine Zeta-Jones!!! She dips beneath lasers!! Wo-O-oa!!♫" as my theme song.
386. When remedying a clone scenario-gone-wrong with force, I shall not call it "Gary Season". (Fallout3, and me with a poison dart gun.)
 386a. I shall not start a clone chorus.
 386b. Alternative solutions do not include hiring them as redshirts.
  386ba. Application of Rule 296, or related, shall not apply here.
   386baa. Intentionally not solving the problem does not solve another problem.
   386bab. I shall not count Garys to help fall asleep.
387. It is discouraged for me to fly my corvette/frigate to the bridge of a larger capital ship (say a Star Destroyer), use docking grapple lines to secure my ship on the frontside of the bridge, back up a tad (or reel in the line), and go "full burn" at point-blank. ("Let's see your shield generators block this!")
 387a. Hitting the hyperdrive is further discouraged.

EDIT:
388. If there's a psychic apparition giving everyone hallucinations, drug trips are not a wise method of countering said hallucinations.
 388a. Nor is wearing masks and acting like the hallucinations to freak out other party members.
 388b. You cannot learn the meaning of life from these guys. Stop asking.
 388c. Going out or sleeping with a hot-looking apparition will only end badly.
 388d. If chemically-induced, I'm not allowed to find the source and sell it for a profit on the black market as a narcotic.
  388da. Not allowed to keep some for myself on the side.
   388daa. Especially during missions.
   388dab. This will not help any relationships.
  388db. Not allowed to use it for practical jokes.
389. As a mage, I am NOT The Amazing Johnathan.
390. As a summoner, I can not spawn Gazebos to eat my targets.
391. There is no such artifact cologne that can turn anything (especially people) into chocolate.
392. The likelihood to survive a crash is not based on the Rule of Cool on the crash itself.
 392a. I cannot take advantage of this rule to crush my targets with a cartwheeling car.
 392b. Any attempt to mimic evading authorities like I do in any Grand Theft Auto game will only end badly.
  392ba. That includes Cartwheeling my car off a highway off the side of a building, and crushing a hotdog vendor who also happens to be my target.
  392bb. Bystanders don't cushion my fall/impact.
393. If the big bad's place has either an escalator or a really tall stairway, I am not permitted to carry a slinky with me.
394. Swords can't cut through tanks. No exceptions.
395. I cannot strap a Mr. Fusion onto my Plasma Gun as an alternative source of ammo.
396. I'm not allowed to paint the closed hanger doors as if they are open.
 396a. That includes for exit.
 396b. I am not allowed to run away from paying the invoices for repairs to the doors and the craft that crash into them.
397. Anything from the ACME Corporation is forbidden equipment; mostly on the basis that it has a 99.99% chance of backfiring.
 397a. Rule is especially relevant if playing a villain role.
398. Quarrels between rivaling factions shall not be settled in tune to West Side Story.
399. Although referenced as such, I am not allowed to use my wife as a ball and chain.
400. I'm no longer allowed to do acrobatic routines upon exiting a plane when skydiving/doing air raids.
401. Protoplasm is not a jelly substitute.
 401a. That applies to either edible or... alternative means.
402. Vacuum message pipelines are not a quicker way to deliver fish, burritos, or fuel rods, or anything septic in manner.
403. Water magic or the Leviathan summon cannot be used for recreational purposes (especially surfing and launching countless waterballoons at people).
404. In classical/Victorian settings, I'm not allowed to play the genre variant of heavy metal songs.
 404a. Even if my bard skills are up to snuff. No.
405. Even if the rules allow it, I can't goomba stomp a colossus.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2011, 01:43:31 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #251 on: September 12, 2011, 09:55:39 pm »

406. If Luck is my dump stat, I shall not equip myself with an army of black cats, mirrors, and walk under tons of scaffolding; especially around other PCs.
 406a. I can however, use my bad luck to counter the good luck of an enemy character.
407. Rabid dogs don't make good companions.
 407a. Naming it Foamy the Freakadog doesn't make things any better.
 407b. Even dressing it up like Freakazoid won't work.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2011, 10:01:38 pm by Itnetlolor »
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Taricus

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #252 on: September 12, 2011, 10:01:09 pm »

408: Thou shall not overload Las weapons and throw them into a dark eldar concert. You can kill them the normal way, lazy gits.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #253 on: September 12, 2011, 10:02:02 pm »

409. Never tell your enemy how to trap you in a cage.
 409a. Don't help them build the cage (trap) either.

Darvi

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Re: Things Bay12ers can no longer do in a RPG
« Reply #254 on: September 12, 2011, 10:05:06 pm »

408 a) Killing Elfis is out of the question.
409. Never tell your enemy how to trap you in a cage.
 409a. Don't help them build the cage (trap) either.
Freakazoid?
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