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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 466827 times)

pisskop

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It tunnels like a B-rated sci-fi thriller.

Why do player led adventures miss prone targets %90 of the time but fortress characters can  arrowspam no matter what?
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Mooglit

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Why do player led adventures miss prone targets %90 of the time but fortress characters can  arrowspam no matter what?

For the same reason the fortress characters can mutilate a creature to within an inch of its pathetic life, then go back to the fort to drink and chat with friends while the beast bleeds out, braying and dragging its sorry self through the murk: Alcohol.

Why don't dwarves teach human traders how to craft steel, so as to be able to have greater trading capabilities?
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flame99

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Because if they give them steel, they will be raised to higher intelligence, and they will realize that all the rock mugs and trumpets, as many of them as there are, are worthless, and will attack the dwarves for the deception.

Why are fortress adventurer dwarves immune to alcohol withdrawal and are, in fact, incapable of drinking alcohol?
« Last Edit: November 25, 2012, 02:24:33 am by flameboy99 »
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It/its, they/them, in order of preference.

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Rallan

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Why do player led adventures miss prone targets %90 of the time but fortress characters can  arrowspam no matter what?

For the same reason the fortress characters can mutilate a creature to within an inch of its pathetic life, then go back to the fort to drink and chat with friends while the beast bleeds out, braying and dragging its sorry self through the murk: Alcohol.

Why don't dwarves teach human traders how to craft steel, so as to be able to have greater trading capabilities?

Because dwarves are ass-backwards mercantilists who've obviously never read Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations, and who would rather protect their wealth by keeping out competitors with monopolies on key industries rather than grow their wealth by stimulating foreign demand :)

Or if you want a more in-universe answer, it's because they live in a world where genocidal wars between major civilizations are pretty much inevitable. Dwarves are the only guys in the world who can equip whole armies with steel arms and armor right now, and they'd be cutting their own throats if they taught other races the secret of steelmaking. Plus the dwarven steel monopoly makes them stupidly rich since other races will charge a premium for steel goods (it's a safe assumption that Toady set steel's trade value higher than gold to reflect this artificial scarcity).
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FlickerFly

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Because if they give them steel, they will be raised to higher intelligence, and they will realize that all the rock mugs and trumpets, as many of them as there are, are worthless, and will attack the dwarves for the deception.

Why are fortress adventurer dwarves immune to alcohol withdrawal and are, in fact, incapable of drinking alcohol?

Because they heard this urban legend about how alcohol-drinking dwarves slowly lose autonomy, eventually just becoming an extensionof the fortress, and that the more alcohol they drink the less likely the are to disobey the hive-mind.

what is the evolutionary advantage of being a dwarf, and why didn't they die out due to their inability to process logic?

Edit- does this count as necro-ing? sorry. It seems relevant to me, but if it's not, again, sorry.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2012, 09:46:57 pm by FlickerFly »
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flame99

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Beards. This keeps the various evil things amazed long enough so they can be magma'd. Also, I like how my spell check counts "magma'd" as a real word.

Why are giant sponges capable of smashing a dwarf's brain in?
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gunpowdertea

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Why are giant sponges capable of smashing a dwarf's brain in?

Ever jump down into a pool of water and land, well, sub-optimal? Sponges contain lots of water and if accelerated enough it seems as hard as a brick and smash in the skull, bruising the brain.

Why, oh why are windows made of cut sandstone or granite transparent?
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I don't care. I have discovered that if you spawn elves this way, cats will chase them down and eat them.

Rose

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Why can what amounts to a rock grille hold back water?
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flame99

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All the holes are filled with a net of dwarf hair.

How can a bronze collosus, which is described as being at least ten times bigger then a dwarf, be trapped in a cage made of wood that even a child can lift without losing any speed?
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hops

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The dwarfs live in an alternate universe where almost everything is the same size.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

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Graknorke

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Why do dwarves not do anything to worship their gods?
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Corai

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Because the dwarvish gods aren't pansies who need to be loved, feared or anything of the sort. They only need to be acknowledged to be happy.

Why don't elves turn trees into giant golems for the purpose of war?
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
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flame99

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Because then there would be no trees left to rape!

Why do nobles think that slade earrings are necessary when  there's a bronze colossus  walking into their rooms?
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It/its, they/them, in order of preference.

Not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you.

hops

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So that they can bludgeon things with their ears.

Why is Armok never mentioned in-game?
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

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Komra

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Bro's got far too much blood to collect to have time for getting worshipped, so he prefers to go unnoticed.

What's chapter III going to be?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.
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