Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[birdy51]

No dwarf can become so self-aware that he realises his own mortality in a world of random numbers. It produces a bad thought.

Why don't dwarves evacuate their fortress when there there is an emergancy such as a visit from the circus?

[hops]

They could. It's just that the overseer is too stubborn to abandon.

Why can't adventurers outrun glaciers?

[itisnotlogical]

They could. It's just that the overseer is too stubborn to abandon.

Why can't adventurers outrun glaciers?

They are stricken by fear and can only stumble away in shock.

Why does all liquid anywhere in the world freeze at night?

[flame99]

Armok thinks watching you die by bogeymen and bandits is more !!FUN!! when you're starving to death and haven't been able to find any clean water.

[pisskop]

Why does

Armok thinks watching you die by bogeymen and bandits is more !!FUN!! when you're starving to death and haven't been able to find any clean water.

?

[Mooglit]

Why does

Armok thinks watching you die by bogeymen and bandits is more !!FUN!! when you're starving to death and haven't been able to find any clean water.

?

Because when you're a god who crafts worlds for the sake of it, you take enjoyment in the small things in life. And a monumental sense of schadenfreude.

Why do my dwarves insist on applying their fey thoughts upon rings or earrings? wouldn't those masterfully depicted historical events and figures be better shown on a sword, or axe, or heaven forbid, a table as opposed to an earring, ring or toy?

[hops]

It's not what they choose, it's their vision's. They won't be able to build better items, especially if they don't have plans for it.

Just how BIG are wagons?

[Cassandra]

Bigger than nine bronze colossi.

Why do hornets not sting when thrown?

[Mooglit]

Why do hornets not sting when thrown?

Incorrect velocity. Try a catapult.

Why do weavers have the implicit need to ignore orders when told not to go chasing giant spiders?

[flame99]

All dwarves have the maturity level of a 9-year-old child. They view a GCS as the best prank to pull on their sisters possible. Also, all dwarves without sisters make up an imaginary one, due to an error Armok had when making dwarvern brains.

How do magma men, blood men, etc. manage to keep their shape despite being liquid?

[GoombaGeek]

Because Dwarves don't breathe. They use an alcohol-based organ in their beards that allow them to create oxygen to put into their bloodstream. They can die from water because it washes away the alcohol and are bugged by miasma because it irritates the organ.

Hold it, gotta use my Chem 10 knowledge to crack down on any fun that may be happening here.

Alcohols are hydrocarbons that have very sneakily had one of their hydrogen ions replaced with a hydroxide (OH) ion. Hydrocarbons are, surprisingly, made of hydrogen and carbon, which means NO OXYGEN in normal form (gasp). So, this beard organ must take alcohols, remove the oxygen from the hydroxide somehow, and then secrete the pure hydrocarbon. This also explains why dwarves never get natural gas poisoning or anything - they're used to high levels of ethane in the air (and methane too if they're drinking wood alcohol).

So it turns out getting oxygen from alcohol is possible after all according to my incomplete education. SCIENCE!

[Carp McDwarfEater]

All dwarves have the maturity level of a 9-year-old child. They view a GCS as the best prank to pull on their sisters possible. Also, all dwarves without sisters make up an imaginary one, due to an error Armok had when making dwarvern brains.

How do magma men, blood men, etc. manage to keep their shape despite being liquid?

They stay in shape by going on a strict diet and exercising regularly.

Why do elves love wood?

[Mooglit]

Why do elves love wood?

At one point in their ancient and illustrious history, the elves came to know trees, in the biblical sense. Dwarven records are unclear on the method, given each successive rewriting of this story has been penned by someone progressively more blitzed than the last.
Given the elves so-intimate relationship with their wooden kin, any dwarven interaction with such is basically akin to them going "Yo' mama."

If Kobolds had the capability, what would be their main trading export?

[NineFourEightSeven]

Dwarven artifacts.

How does a small sea lamprey bite off the entire upper half of a fisherman?

[pisskop]

It tunnels like a B-rated sci-fi thriller.

Why do player led adventures miss prone targets %90 of the time but fortress characters can  arrowspam no matter what?