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[Lielac]

"The same old stuff? Are you blind? Do you not see that when Urist McCreativeCraftsdwarf made that turtle shell earring, he was making a commentary on the current state of affairs in our fair nations crafting industry? That, with the forging of this item, we must now re-evaluate the way we look upon all crafts made, in both future and past? Why, it's so terribly obvious, to anyone who understands art. " 

Why are dwarves so willing to believe it when a vampire blames a baby for their kills?

Because vampires, having had many, many years to hone their skills, can pull off epic usages of the Bluff skill on a regular basis.

Why is it a miasma only occurs in subterranean regions, even after a space exposed to sunlight has had a ceiling built over it?

[WoobMonkey]

Because, as every dwarf knows, miasma is created not by rotting meat/vegetable matter, but rather by the earth itself spewing forth its disgust at having such things mar its otherwise unblemished skin.

Above-ground earth is naturally pimply and ugly (hence all the elfy stuff up there!), and so bears no such revulsion.

Like, duh XD

Why, oh why, do dwarfs ignore zone settings when it comes to fishing and drinking?

[kero42]

(Not a proper answer, but are they set to only use zones in the options?, I think it's o-z)

[WoobMonkey]

(Not a proper answer, but are they set to only use zones in the options?, I think it's o-z)

Yes, of course.  And it's o-z-d(and/or)-f.

[ArchAIngel]

There is no question to answer here, so..


Question: What would happen if a fortress was set up in the everfree forest?

[klefenz]

The rivers would be colored red from all the elven blood.

How is a stone door even supposed to work?

[Lielac]

There is no question to answer here, so..


Question: What would happen if a fortress was set up in the everfree forest?

Nothing special; it's positively tame compared to a lot of evil biomes.

Question: Why was the question I just answered not musing over a WTF?

The rivers would be colored red from all the elven blood.

How is a stone door even supposed to work?

AGH NINJA

Dwarven quantum mechanics and masterful masonry. It's balanced *really* carefully.

Question: what is even *with* 48-urist wide rivers and their 90-degree bends? (Give me the serious technical answer an' I'll feed you to the FBs in my basements)

[Larix]

The rivers would be colored red from all the elven blood.

How is a stone door even supposed to work?

You open it, you can pass. You close it, you can't pass. Easy.
Examples - hinged door: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Stone_door_-_Desert_castle_-_Jordan.jpeg
a stone wheel that can be moved to block/unblock a passage: http://www.crystalinks.com/derinkuyudoor.jpg (picture from the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derinkuyu_Underground_City )

How is bituminous coal formed in a world less than a thousand years old? Is the world actually just morphed from an older world and not created ex nihilo as worldgen suggests?

[Somejob]

It is spontaneously created by means of quasinationalslippendation to the nth degree.


Why do starving and dehydrated dorfs throw parties, then starve to death because they didn't eat?

EDIT dorfs... I typo'd a y in there.

[WoobMonkey]

Because Starvation Parties are all the rage, among the trendsetters in the mountainhome.

Still no answer, so trying again:

Why, oh why, do dwarfs ignore zone settings when it comes to fishing and drinking?

[Somejob]

Still no answer, so trying again:

Why, oh why, do dwarfs ignore zone settings when it comes to fishing and drinking?

Because they are too busy planning their next starvation party 

[wierd]

One word answer: hallucenations.

Complex answer: dwarves experience devistating mental infirmities from failure to consume alcohol, as they have evolved in such a fashion to actually metabolize the high energy liquid directly inside their brains, and it is this mechanism which sets them apart from the other sentient races, as well as being the source of inspiration for their so called "moods". Without this high energy dwarf fuel, dwarves experience a state similar to what humans experience when placed inside a sensory deprivation tank, and promptly begin to experience auditory, visual, and olfactory hallucenations, which is downright crippling to their ability to function. If this persists long enough, the hallucenations take on a coherent theme in most sufferers, centering around the wish fulfillment of drinking. This is the mind's last ditch effort to preserve itself in the face of being so impoverished. In this last final stage of systemic and complex hallucenation, dwarves will initiate a party, wherein all attending will honestly belive that there really is alcohol and food being served.  The energy they exert while under this deception will exceed the energy stores remaining in their bodies, and promptly results in their deaths.

The providence of alcohol and food at this late stage might not always succeed in freeing them from death's clutches however, so experiments concerning the protracted effects of sobriety on dwarven populations are met with severe ethical disdain, regardless of how valuable suc data would be to the medical profession. As such, there is little to distinguish hard objective information from purely subjective folk tales and second hand rumor.

Is there really such a place as a truly impossible embark?

[Somejob]

Welcome to armokcom. At armokcom, the only limit is yourself! Have you tried modding so you can embark 100 z-levels in the air?


Why do melancholy dwarves suicide at the worst times?

[klefenz]

Because they're attemtion seekers.

How can dwarves make a wooden crossbow without string?

[Eric Blank]

They donate one of their mighty beard hairs to the weapon. Nothing makes a better bow string than dwarf beard.

Why do nobles lose their temper so easily?