"The lack of alcohol has made you all forget what it means to be dwarfs! I'll get the military to whip you all into shape..."
"...your entire military is 4 dwarfs?"
"Yes"
"In leather, not metal armor?"
"Yes"
"And only one of them is a properly trained Axedwarf?"
"Oh not at all, Erush uses an axe as well"
"It says here he's a cheese maker"
"His axe is made of Cheese!"
"Well, I suppose we could always trade for some decent arms and armor with the next caravan..."
"You made the depot inaccessible? HOW DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO DO THAT?"
"You can't blame us for that one, the entire region has no wagon access!"
"BUT YOU CAME HERE ON A WAGON!"
(Seriously, I've never dealt with an inaccessible depot before. I have no idea how to fix this. No matter where I go on the map it says there's no wagon access)
"I have never in all of my years needed a drink more than I do now-and there's nothing to drink!"
"You have brewable plants and you're
cooking them instead?! What the hell is wrong with you dwarfs?!"
"Maybe some rat weed biscuits will cheer you up!"
"ARG! What else is wrong with this Fortress?!"
"You're using Marble for building?! Haven't you ever heard of Steel?!"
"Ha, why would we need steel? We have weapons made from the finest Wood!"
"At least the stocks say we have plenty of armor"
"Yes, all of our warriors have their own pretty, pretty dresses"
"I guess they'll have to defend themselves with their...wait, are those shields made out of
wood? Again with the wood! Why are you outfitting our warriors with wood?!"
"So they would be
treemendous!"
"It's a miracle you all haven't been slaughtered! How can you live like this?!"
"One of us lives quite well"
"At least now I know what you were doing all last year instead of brewing drinks..."
(I apologize but I'm actually taking care of some sick family members and have still yet to unpause the game. There is a lot to be done and some of this stuff I don't know how to fix [namely the depot]. I will try to kick things into high gear when I actually get started, but I'm still trying to figure out the ASCII layout and there's no helpful notes or hotkeys [which I will be fixing right away for the next person]. One of the first things I plan to do is straighten out all the labors, here's a Dwarf Therapist screenshot if anyone wants to check it out [and you guys better want to check it out, it was very tedious to edit together right]:
We have lots of dwarfs with everything on and Legendary dwarfs assigned doing non-Legendary things. ARG!
I will try to start playing and fixing everything ASAP. If anyone has advice [especially with the depot thing] or ideas I'd really appreciate hearing it and I'll try to accommodate people's opinions!)
Edit before posting: People posted while I was typing this. Thanks for being such great guys Fievreux and Zanziik. I'm sure I'll be okay with the ASCII, I just need to get used to it. The biggest issue was coming into the brand new fortress with it, since not only did I not understand what the symbols meant I had no idea what layout I was looking at either. Things are better now but there's a lot to fix and I want to make everything right for the next person.