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Author Topic: Dwarf porn  (Read 24143 times)

Sarda

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Dwarf porn
« on: May 29, 2011, 03:13:56 pm »
About an unclaimed -cat leather sock-:

Quote from: Girlinhat on May 29, 2011, 03:04:19 pm
*runs her finger lightly down the side, starting from the well-crafted hem down to the blunt, rounded heel, her finger tracing over the thick, rough, leather tube of joy* No... Not yet...

So yeah, what would other dwarf porn scenes be?
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Quote from: Zdrok on May 02, 2011, 07:43:38 pm
You'll have to provide warm, moist kittens at the end of each test chamber.
Quote from: Necro910 on May 20, 2011, 04:20:57 pm
Dwarf Fortress:
Where 9% of your town is casualties, is good.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2011, 03:17:23 pm »
Porn for dwarven men?

Magma.  Magma magma.  Magma with pump.  Magma Elves.  More Magma.
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Sarda

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2011, 03:21:06 pm »
Porn for miners:

Urist swung his pick one last time and promised himself that after this last z-level, he would drown himself in a barrel of good strong booze. He was tired of making those damn repetitive movements and having to grasp his woodhandle for so long. As he turned away to go to his promised barrel, he caught a glimpse of something cyan in the corner of his eye. "No... it can't be....." he husked. He feverishly swung his pickaxe, penetrating Mother Earth over and over with a long, hard, slightly-curved protrusion, until Her glory was revealed and he was exhausted. He ran his fingers slowly over the smooth cyan curves of the adamantine vein. "Praise the gods......" Urist panted lustily. Urist braced himself for the joy to come... He could hardly wait to fit that long, hard, slightly-curved protrusion into the tube over and over.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 29, 2011, 03:29:27 pm by Sarda »
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Quote from: Zdrok on May 02, 2011, 07:43:38 pm
You'll have to provide warm, moist kittens at the end of each test chamber.
Quote from: Necro910 on May 20, 2011, 04:20:57 pm
Dwarf Fortress:
Where 9% of your town is casualties, is good.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2011, 03:23:14 pm »
"Shit!  I fucking love microcline!  Hey, overlord!  Guess what I just found!  Come on, guess, it's awesome!"
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Lagslayer

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2011, 03:25:24 pm »
This thread is made of awesome. Also, very disturbing.
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ExdeathV

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2011, 03:30:34 pm »
I have the weirdest boner right now.
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Sarda

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2011, 03:33:05 pm »
Why is the image of small hairy "men" going deep, deep into a the "tube" of the female, anthropomorphic personification of the earth "weird"?

Oh, and: The word "fuck" comes from an old, old German word meaning "strike", iirc. STRIKE THE EARTH!
« Last Edit: May 29, 2011, 03:36:11 pm by Sarda »
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Quote from: Zdrok on May 02, 2011, 07:43:38 pm
You'll have to provide warm, moist kittens at the end of each test chamber.
Quote from: Necro910 on May 20, 2011, 04:20:57 pm
Dwarf Fortress:
Where 9% of your town is casualties, is good.

Sphalerite

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2011, 04:35:41 pm »
This is dwarf porn:

http://www.exceptionalminerals.com/halloffame.htm

(Note:  link is completely safe for work and not actual porn.  Unless you're a dwarf.)
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Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius --- and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

Darvi

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #8 on: May 29, 2011, 04:40:42 pm »
Quote from: Sphalerite on May 29, 2011, 04:35:41 pm
This is dwarf porn:

http://www.exceptionalminerals.com/halloffame.htm

(Note:  link is completely safe for work and not actual porn.  Unless you're a dwarf.)
I might've just had a dwarfgasm.
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Number4

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2011, 05:13:35 pm »
Quote from: Girlinhat on May 29, 2011, 03:17:23 pm
Porn for dwarven men?

Magma.  Magma magma.  Magma with pump.  Magma Elves.  More Magma.

Porn for dwarven women?

Magma.  Magma magma.  Magma with pump.  Magma Elves.  More Magma.
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Quote from: LemonFrosted on July 07, 2011, 11:20:19 am
Thanks for the suggestion, but Number4 is correct: [...] it would be easier and more predictable to just be a racist.

Quote from: RedWick on July 27, 2011, 05:32:20 am
Did somebody just rule 34 two veins of metal?

kotekzot

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2011, 05:16:02 pm »
Magma does Dallas?
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Quote from: eataTREE on June 17, 2011, 10:45:24 am
Dwarf Fortress: Where violent death is a renewable resource
Quote from: Guy Montag on April 16, 2009, 04:45:30 pm
Bro, your like... thinking like a square man... its like, the WHOLE lamprey is just like, one big NECK dude, you know? its like hahahaha! dude protect the trees though, seriously. *inhale*... anyways... you like, want this dead black bear, bro?

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2011, 05:18:45 pm »
Debby Does Magma?
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twwolfe

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2011, 05:22:37 pm »
now i feel dirt
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Quote from: Cotes on March 11, 2011, 02:02:55 pm
There are dwarves that are nothing but useless sacrifices - Miners are not one of them.

Angel Of Death

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #13 on: May 29, 2011, 05:24:58 pm »
I immagine dwarf porn to be something like this...


"OH MY ARMOK! MAGMA THAT MENACES WITH SPIKES OF ADAMANTINE AND HAS A PICTURE OF ITSELF ON IT! OH, LOOK! ELVES ARE BEING THROWN INTO THE MAGMA"
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Hidden signature messages are fun!

BodyGripper

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #14 on: May 29, 2011, 05:28:09 pm »
Quote from: Sphalerite on May 29, 2011, 04:35:41 pm
This is dwarf porn:

http://www.exceptionalminerals.com/halloffame.htm

(Note:  link is completely safe for work and not actual porn.  Unless you're a dwarf.)

That is very nice.
That being said, I did a quick google images search for Dwarf porn, and found all kinds of great stuff.
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Quote from: HunterBlackLuna on July 26, 2011, 01:30:03 pm
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... It's okay to sell quivers..."
Quote from: Angel Of Death on March 15, 2011, 03:05:10 am
I just ripped open a lions throat by biting it. Who's the lion now, bitch!
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