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[KingofstarrySkies]

Your Fortress succumbed to the Invasion.

WWUD if DF was bought by EA and made into a shitty F2P P2W mobile game with micro-transactions?

[Quartz_Mace]

Urist McDwarf has gone berserk!
EA has been struck down.

WWUD if he just saw 70 of his closest friends die before his eyes?

[ELF-rhymer]

Urist McBerzerk has been quite content lately.
He has witnessed a death recently.
He took joy in slaughter lately.
He had a nice blood bath recently.
He admired a fine door lately.
He was forced to eat his friend lately.
He enjoyed a fine meal recently.

WWUD if he will see the rollercoaster?

[mate888]

The flying dwarven vonit hits the human tourist in the head, shattering the bone and tearing the brain!
What would Urist Mc Militia Captain do if he was robbed while he was on break?

[escondida]

To the thief? Nothing. To the weaponsmith who crafted his masterful axe and who goes berserk when the thief takes it off the map? Kick him in the head until the head explodes in gore.

What would Urist do if dwarves could drink coffee?

[Dark One]

Once upon a time Urist McBrewer mixed coffe seeds with plump helmets and created brew with high amounts of alcohol and coffeine. He was elected mayor for the rest of his life.

WWUD If Brewer was mayor of the fortress named Boatmurdered?

[Quartz_Mace]

Urist would burn all the more faster, as alcohol burns extremely quickly.

WWUD if he was reincarnated and given another chance to save Boatmurdered?!

[escondida]

Oh, Urist would try to save it, no doubt about that. But honestly, I don't think anything could have stopped Sankis's burning rampage. Unless...remember the broken child playing obliviously in the corpse pile, the only other survivor when it was abandoned? There we have her reincarnated form. She could have been the savior of Boatmurdered, but Boatmurdered got to her first, before she was old enough to make a difference.

What, I say what, would Urist do when presented with the slapstick comedy and apparent invincibility of the Looney Toons cast?

[KingofstarrySkies]

Urist has gone berserk!

WWUD if planes and cars were in DF?

[Baffler]

The flying -cow bone bolt- strikes the goblin Escort Fighter in the fuselage, but the attack glances off! x99
The flying -cow bone bolt- strikes the goblin Escort Fighter in the fuselage, but the attack glances off! x99
The flying -cow bone bolt- strikes the goblin Escort Fighter in the fuselage, but the attack glances off! x99
The flying +flak charge+ strikes the goblin Escort Fighter in the right aileron, and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Goblin bombardier loses his grip on the +cluster bomb+.

Urist McMarksdwarf has been struck down! x15
Okon McSiegeOperator has been struck down! x30
Bomrek McGroundTechnician has been struck down! x15
Tekkud McTruckDriver has been struck down! x10

The goblin Escort Fighter collides with an obstacle!

and so forth...

WWUD if he was a Navy SEAL?

[Wimopy]

Go on an operation to eliminate the demon head of the nearby goblin civ and succeed due to his training and exceptional gear. Unfortunately, upon returning home, he would be dismissed on account of troubles with alcohol and be forced to live as a cook without telling anyone of his deeds, until one day a goblin ambush arrives and he's the only one left able to save the day...
(Any and all similarities between the tale and any events, fictional or otherwise, in the real world are coincidental.)

WWUD if he were a Soviet T-34 tank commander in WWII?

[cyberTripping]

Somehow manage to cause en entire army to not show up (probably by having blown something up) aand cause a timeline where Germany was successful against the Eastern Bloc.

WWUD if the Nazis elves were successful in their attack on Russia the dwarves?

[heydude6]

There will be two new cities an elven one above ground and a dwarven one below ground. Urist will immediately begin digging. Days pass by, then months, then years until it is finished. A pit so deep as to reach the magma sea. The only thing supporting both cities, a support connected to a lever.

Then the lever is pulled. One can only watch in horror as both cities fall into a molten pit kilometers wide. Screams echoing off cavern walls, both elf and dwarf alike.

WWUD  he do if he was hired to kill a vampire

[mate888]

Go  aimlessly accusing everyone in the fort of being a night creature, until the vampire confesses, because everyone knows that vampires can't lie.
WWUD if he was a werelemur?

[Olith McHuman]

Urist is disappointed. He could have been a werebear, a werelion, even a werellama. But no, he gets to turn into a creature just bigger than a cat. Beware his might!

What would UristMcMadScientist do if other liquids could flow?