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Author Topic: Bullying  (Read 8260 times)

ed boy

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #90 on: April 22, 2011, 11:01:04 am »

But you have to make sure you aren't seen as the bad guy. That's the point I'm making. You have to stack the cards so that in the end you win. I'm not claiming to be advocating anything resembling conventional justice or morality here. I'm saying the most effective solution with the best outcome for you most likely involves breaking your own moral codes, or at least societies.
Perhaps you'll get higher up on some kind of school social scale.  But if you have any kind of conscience you'll end up hating yourself, and correctly, because if you did all those things you'd be a massive douchebag.
You have to remember that the majority of bullying takes place when people are children or adolescents, and thus aren't mature enough to feel such a way.
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DJ

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #91 on: April 22, 2011, 11:38:51 am »

The first step against bullying is not making yourself a target. The bullies will almost always pick on whoever seems the weakest psychologically. And the way they determine that is really simple - they look at your posture. So what you need to do is straighten your back and put some confidence in your gait.

If it does come to bullying, though, you must stand your ground. It usually starts verbally, and you should respond in kind. This is a sort of a duel, and the loser is the one that gets enraged first. To enrage your average bully, make lewd comments about his mother and question his sexual orientation and the size of his testicles.

Of course, winning the first phase leads to physical confrontation, which you should be prepared for. You may get your ass kicked, but the bully will still have lost the whole event because everyone will laugh at how he lost his cool. If the fight was a walkover he'll likely try and beat you up again, so you need to land some hits of your own to make him think twice about it. Liberal application of rocks is recommended - either throw them at him or hold one in your hand and hit him in the head with it. Nobody wants to start a fight that'll lend them in a lot of pain.
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Angel Of Death

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #92 on: April 22, 2011, 11:41:20 am »

If you have to fight a bully, start off by punching him right in the nose. Then in the jaw, after that, the chest or stomach. You should then knee him in the face twice.

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #93 on: April 22, 2011, 12:11:40 pm »

the best outcome for you most likely involves breaking your own moral codes, or at least societies.

We have to choose between breaking our moral code and destroying a whole society?

If you have to fight a bully, start off by punching him right in the nose. Then in the jaw, after that, the chest or stomach. You should then knee him in the face twice.



I would start with the groin and then the nose.
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TheDarkJay

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #94 on: April 22, 2011, 12:18:22 pm »

the best outcome for you most likely involves breaking your own moral codes, or at least societies.

We have to choose between breaking our moral code and destroying a whole society?

I meant you might have to break the moral codes of society -.- It's norms and mores. Only destroy whole societies if you really need to (or you get really bored one day).
« Last Edit: April 22, 2011, 12:28:16 pm by TheDarkJay »
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Nadaka

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #95 on: April 22, 2011, 12:29:22 pm »

I always found beating bullies with a steel chain attached a nice big padlock on it to work best.

Always meaning the one time a couple bullies beat, suffocated and almost killed my little sister.

And when the principal confronted my mother over it the next day and I said "Damn right. And I would do it again too." Righteous indignation is rarely to ones advantage.

Pretty sure the only reason I didn't get in serious trouble is that those kids were very well known delinquents and my mother threatened their mother with child protective services and they decided to drop everything.

Neither one of us got bullied again.
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Re: Bullying
« Reply #96 on: April 22, 2011, 12:33:57 pm »

Overall I would say that the single best way to prevent bullying in the first place is to just hit the weightroom three times a week. Not only will you get real strong (if you do it right), but this will increase your confidence and aggressiveness. Weight training is more important to the teenage lad than most people would like to admit.
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Vector

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #97 on: April 22, 2011, 12:39:07 pm »

Eh, perhaps not opposite.  More like e.g. women abuse women for, say, the same reason men abuse men rather than because it aligns them with men.  I'm not sure there's a "need" for men to abuse men to climb the social ladder, though it may be sufficient.  I'm also not sure point #1 is accurate, since the other men may feel the need to protect the "weak" woman (so not defeating your overall point).  And point #3 seems flaky since "it doesn't faze me therefore I'm stronger" doesn't seem to apply to male-male abuse given point #2.  I suppose my problem is less with the message than the spin/framing.

I should make that clearer: abuse is part of the strategy to climb the social ladder, which usually involves stepping on women, and then stepping on men (in some way).  It's not necessarily the only way.  At the very least, I hope not.

Male-on-male abuse... well, that's a bit different, because dudes aren't targeted with the "inherently weak" mark to start with, so there's more leeway.  But in general, again, it's like offering apologies and stuff like that.  If your status is low, then it's seen as weak behavior.  If your status is high, it's seen as self-strengthening behavior (because it shows that you can afford to take the hit in status).  And so on, and so forth.

...

I should probably add that none of this was taught in class.  It's based on my own theories and observations, so your mileage may, of course, vary.



And now, for Barbarossa the Seal God, the hyper-pedantic version.  You seem to need this.

"Hey, look!  Solve the misogyny problem and you probably won't have the fucked-up male homosocial problems, either!"
Right! And we can solve the murder problem by fixing the thievery problem! Can you explain the correlation, here?

Thievery doesn't define itself by its opposition to murder.  It defines itself by its opposition to not-stealing.

Get rid of the idea of private property and you will have no thievery.  Remove the barrier between life and death and there is no murder.  Remove the idea of "feminine traits" being universally bad (i.e. masochism, self-destruction, passiveness as defined by Freud) and you won't have the idea that "masculine traits" (which define themselves in opposition to the feminine) are universally good.  Thus, one might be able to, I don't know, be oneself and forget about whether one is fulfilling one's respective gender stereotype for a while.  Men might not be requested to be violent, and women might not be requested to be sandwich-factories.


You need to abuse other men to gain more power within the male social structure itself.
In what societies? I can tell you that this is not how it works in any school I've been to, over here on the west coast of America.

... So you've never punched a guy because you wanted him to fuck off and stop treating you like a lesser person?  I have.  I've also punched girls and engaged in painful academic rivalries.  But mostly, I've had guys who wanted to go out with me posturing and trying make me look like a smaller person, because a woman isn't datable unless she's smaller than you.  And you know, I've seen plenty of dudes screwing each other up in order to gain power.

(Hint: that's a generalization to the majority, i.e. what mass culture tells us we should do, and what many people obey.  Other hint: I was born and raised in California.  It's not like I'm not from the West Coast either, but your little pull for ethos was kind of funny for a while)


women get away with abuse of men almost whenever they want.
What kind of man are you if you can't take someone weaker trying to usurp you?
Did you actually just say that? It sounds to me like you just said women are weaker than men. They're not, and I'm ashamed of you for saying something so vulgar and... wrong. I hope that was sarcasm, or possibly a twisted joke. But you know what? Women abuse men quite often. They just don't report it.

... Oh my god, learn to sarcasm.  Or, alternatively, figure out when I'm talking about mass society, rather than you personally.  Or, alternatively, pay attention to what I USUALLY write, and then figure out why I might have used those particular words rather than taking the opportunity to say "ooooh, shame on Vector."  We were both in the army thread.  Do you not remember me arguing there, or are you just taking the opportunity to try to take me down?

What does mass society say?

Men are strong, women are weak, if you can't take what a bitch gives you then you're not a man.  Then they don't report abuse, because it'd be emasculating.  I mean, seriously, you need to learn how to read.  Or how to think about what you're reading.  Or to think about what you're writing before you hit "submit."  I think any of those would have done it.


And women abuse each other plenty too but that's something I hardly understand at all.
Easy.  The primary way to gain power is to align yourself with men.  First way to align yourself with men?  Abuse women.
If this is the case, explain to me why abusing a woman will get you abused by any given one of my friends? (Abusing anyone at all, actually.)

Hey look, stereotypes! Men are always the oppressors and evil! They're all in some secret pact to all abuse women and high-five about it later! That's how they make friends!

 :-X

. . .

Mass society, sweetheart!  What's this, your cushy little group of friends managed to remove yourselves from it?  Good on you.  Now see what it's like for a woman living in the rest of the world.

I said nothing about a secret pact.  Just take a look around you at what society expects from women versus what it expects from men.  Pay attention to what the establishment is asking of us.  I'm not talking about something that individuals buy into intentionally and happily uphold.  I'm talking about the bullshit that occurs, each and every day, unintentionally, because people are too blind to see it.

I'm talking about a society where this is remotely acceptable.

I'm talking about a society where male bonds are created by gifts of female flesh, and where one in three women have been molested, and one in six raped.  Where women are given away by men, and do not give themselves as gifts.  Where women are expected to be chosen and taken by men, rather than women doing the choosing, and women doing the taking in equal measure.

And if you don't see that, then you need to pay a hell of a lot more attention.
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Phmcw

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #98 on: April 22, 2011, 12:50:27 pm »

The solution to bullying is, by order of effectiveness : 1)bring allies. Friend who would respond aggressively to any tentative to belittle you. Not always available, especially in high school, but if you have some understanding friends, it's effective. I didn't have any when I had such problem, but some of my friend resorted to me that way.
2)Get the fuck out : change school, get a new job... bully are despicable poeple that tend to fuck up their surrounding, and outing them take a lot of work. Finding a good place might be easier (don't give a fuck about the satisfaction they will have you of it: first they rather keep torturing you, second they are making they very own personal hell anyway).
3) Punch them out. Can be effective, but not always, and you have to be able to fight several people a the same time. Can be tricky.
Easy way for me since I'm tall, big and strong but not for everyone.

What doesn't work : talk with them (at least if they doesn't stop the first time) and waiting it out.

Vector, you're not wrong, but I think that bullying is a very natural instinct, and that you have to literally change how humans work to get rid of it entirely.
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Vector

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #99 on: April 22, 2011, 12:53:51 pm »

Vector, you're not wrong, but I think that bullying is a very natural instinct, and that you have to literally change how humans work to get rid of it entirely.

No, I think I mostly/partially/whatever agree.  On the other hand, that doesn't mean that I think natural is necessarily better.  It might not even be good to live in a society without bullying.  But I don't know about that.  All I know is that the current world is hard to deal with, so at least I'll do whatever I can.
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Sergius

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #100 on: April 22, 2011, 01:19:09 pm »

If you have to fight a bully, start off by punching him right in the nose. Then in the jaw, after that, the chest or stomach. You should then knee him in the face twice.

Failing that, try a power bomb.
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Re: Bullying
« Reply #101 on: April 22, 2011, 01:40:33 pm »

The solution to bullying is, by order of effectiveness : 1)bring allies. Friend who would respond aggressively to any tentative to belittle you. Not always available, especially in high school, but if you have some understanding friends, it's effective. I didn't have any when I had such problem, but some of my friend resorted to me that way.
2)Get the fuck out : change school, get a new job... bully are despicable poeple that tend to fuck up their surrounding, and outing them take a lot of work. Finding a good place might be easier (don't give a fuck about the satisfaction they will have you of it: first they rather keep torturing you, second they are making they very own personal hell anyway).
3) Punch them out. Can be effective, but not always, and you have to be able to fight several people a the same time. Can be tricky.
Easy way for me since I'm tall, big and strong but not for everyone.

What doesn't work : talk with them (at least if they doesn't stop the first time) and waiting it out.

Vector, you're not wrong, but I think that bullying is a very natural instinct, and that you have to literally change how humans work to get rid of it entirely.

If you move or change schools (an option many people don't have), you're giving the bully victory, handing it right to him. I am going to continue to advocate that the best way to avoid bullying in the first place is to just get strong and fast through the means of weightlifting.
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Phmcw

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #102 on: April 22, 2011, 01:49:06 pm »

The solution to bullying is, by order of effectiveness : 1)bring allies. Friend who would respond aggressively to any tentative to belittle you. Not always available, especially in high school, but if you have some understanding friends, it's effective. I didn't have any when I had such problem, but some of my friend resorted to me that way.
2)Get the fuck out : change school, get a new job... bully are despicable poeple that tend to fuck up their surrounding, and outing them take a lot of work. Finding a good place might be easier (don't give a fuck about the satisfaction they will have you of it: first they rather keep torturing you, second they are making they very own personal hell anyway).
3) Punch them out. Can be effective, but not always, and you have to be able to fight several people a the same time. Can be tricky.
Easy way for me since I'm tall, big and strong but not for everyone.

What doesn't work : talk with them (at least if they doesn't stop the first time) and waiting it out.

Vector, you're not wrong, but I think that bullying is a very natural instinct, and that you have to literally change how humans work to get rid of it entirely.

If you move or change schools (an option many people don't have), you're giving the bully victory, handing it right to him. I am going to continue to advocate that the best way to avoid bullying in the first place is to just get strong and fast through the means of weightlifting.

Yeah, you will learn. I thought like you when I was your age. And now I think I've fucking lost my time fighting with worthless idiot instead of doing something interesting. And for what? Giving a lesson to someone too stupid to understand it? I should just have changed school. Oh and they had no chance fighting me, actually. It was just constant bickering. I liked the courses and didn't "fit in".
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Re: Bullying
« Reply #103 on: April 22, 2011, 01:52:59 pm »

The solution to bullying is, by order of effectiveness : 1)bring allies. Friend who would respond aggressively to any tentative to belittle you. Not always available, especially in high school, but if you have some understanding friends, it's effective. I didn't have any when I had such problem, but some of my friend resorted to me that way.
2)Get the fuck out : change school, get a new job... bully are despicable poeple that tend to fuck up their surrounding, and outing them take a lot of work. Finding a good place might be easier (don't give a fuck about the satisfaction they will have you of it: first they rather keep torturing you, second they are making they very own personal hell anyway).
3) Punch them out. Can be effective, but not always, and you have to be able to fight several people a the same time. Can be tricky.
Easy way for me since I'm tall, big and strong but not for everyone.

What doesn't work : talk with them (at least if they doesn't stop the first time) and waiting it out.

Vector, you're not wrong, but I think that bullying is a very natural instinct, and that you have to literally change how humans work to get rid of it entirely.

If you move or change schools (an option many people don't have), you're giving the bully victory, handing it right to him. I am going to continue to advocate that the best way to avoid bullying in the first place is to just get strong and fast through the means of weightlifting.

Yeah, you will learn. I thought like you when I was your age. And now I think I've fucking lost my time fighting with worthless idiot instead of doing something interesting. And for what? Giving a lesson to someone too stupid to understand it? I should just have changed school. Oh and they had no chance fighting me, actually. It was just constant bickering. I liked the courses and didn't "fit in".

But not everyone can change schools every time someone bullies them. No one is going to try to physically hurt someone who is bigger and stronger than them. It is simply the better option than moving away.
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SalmonGod

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #104 on: April 22, 2011, 01:53:25 pm »

If you move or change schools (an option many people don't have), you're giving the bully victory, handing it right to him. I am going to continue to advocate that the best way to avoid bullying in the first place is to just get strong and fast through the means of weightlifting.

I was a star athlete in high school.  It didn't prevent bullying.  I rarely got bullied during practices and games, teammates generally left me alone, and it probably prevented any serious physical threats that I would have received otherwise.  I never got jumped by a group of people dead set on beating the shit out of me.  That's all I got out of it.

That's probably because I seem to have been born a pacifist, though.  I care less about elevating myself in the eyes of others than I do about preserving my own self-image, and becoming that which I hated would have been counter-productive.  There are many times I could have defended myself better if I was willing to go on the offensive, but even as an 8 year old I thought about things this way.
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