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[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Spray John with the pressure-washer.
CLEANZOR: Search the area.
Fantasy: Pick-up the gun, and give the ax to Urist.

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Get up...?
FW: Grab my axe and proceed deeper into the fortress.

[Gatleos]

Meta: Fill my hat with the grey-green liquid.

Obviously. First thing I would have thought of in this situation.

[Frelock]

Meta: Get the gun

Fantasy: Have my body stumble around for a little bit with my head shouting directions at it in a comical fashion, before eventually reconnecting myself.

[NoahTophatz]

Fantasy: Have my body stumble around for a little bit with my head shouting directions at it in a comical fashion, before eventually reconnecting myself.

Yelling instructions won't work because well your body don't have ears so your body will seem like it is completely ignoring you

[Frelock]

Hence the "comical fashion"

[monk12]

Meta: Fill my hat with the grey-green liquid.

Obviously. First thing I would have thought of in this situation.

OBVIOUSLY. Besides, Frelock gets the portal gun. If I could think of a good use for them, I'd loot the mutated experiments as well.

[kisame12794]

Fantasy: Have my body stumble around for a little bit with my head shouting directions at it in a comical fashion, before eventually reconnecting myself.

Yelling instructions won't work because well your body don't have ears so your body will seem like it is completely ignoring you

Actually if he yells loud enough the body might feel him yelling and stumble/walk towards it. Or he'll make a lot of noise and someone will rescue him. Maybe.

[Gatleos]

Sorry for the wait, building a platformer engine is... time-consuming to say the least.

**********~
Turn 124
**********~

META TURN:

Time to up the arsenal.

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Elevator Room

Actions

RW: Attempt to help the poor bastard on the other end of this signal thingy. Somehow.

(...)

"REEEEAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH"
"Stop! You're going to give us a headache!"

Meta: Fill my hat with the grey-green liquid.

(...) You scoop several handfuls of goop into your hat, allowing your hair to marinate in the thick juices. Frelock stares at you quizzically before making his way to the back of the room.

"What the hell are you doing?"
"Wha- another hallucination? ...What happened to LeChuck?"
"No idea who you're talking about."
"You still there, Hippo?"
"YOU CANNOT DISPOSE OF ME, MORTAL"
"Wait, haven't I met you before?"
"Possibly. You're the hallucinator, you tell me."

Meta: Spray John with the pressure-washer.
CLEANZOR: Search the area.

(...) You spray John in the face with the pressure washer! He sits bolt upright, muttering about Crundles.
(...) Cleanz0r just sits there, judging you with his KIT eyes.

"..."

RW: Get up...?

(...) The cold water splashes over you, and you quickly sit up and punch Kyle in the head! He falls to the floor, bleeding from yet another bump on his head and moaning.

Meta: Get the gun

(...) Reaching up onto the pedestal at the rear of the room, you remove the gun resting on its surface. Happily noting the lack of a sudden trap or group of enemies to respond to your attainment of this treasure, you begin to examine the gun itself. It looks kind of familiar, actually. It's...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nah, you have no idea.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Screaming incoherently.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Keen Helmet | Pencil x4 | Coffee Mug | Sonic Cannon
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG | No Delta Brain Wave | Split Personality
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: R&D Lab Alpha, Deck M1
Currently: Examining this odd weapon of his.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger | Cheetah Arm | Thermometer | Odd Gun
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: R&D Lab Alpha, Deck M1
Currently: Hoarding objects like this is an adventure game or something.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle | Balloon Animal | Mirror Suit | Genetic Slop
Wounds: None
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis | Legendary Record Keeper
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Watching the little stars fly around his head...
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner | Wheelchair | Burlap Sack | Spray Can | Gas Mask | Bucket | Cleanz0r (commanding)
Wounds: Missing Legs | Quadruple Head Bumps | Blind | Light Bleeding
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy | Clairvoyance
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Stretching and yawning.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm | Spacesuit | Arm Cannon | Paperweight x3
Wounds: Brain Damage
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now | X-Ray Vision
Name: Cleanz0r
Description: A bulky cleaning robot who takes orders from Kyle.
Inventory: Disinfectant | Cleaning Brush x3
Wounds: None
Abilities: None

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The quest for The Keystone has begun.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!
Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed Miserably
Brave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.

Current Soundtrack
Battle

Actions

Mutie: Katamari!
Rats: Attack!
Me: Waterblast goddamn everything reptilian.

(...) A massive orb of water emanates outward from your body, sending the snakes flying into the walls at fatal velocity! (...) Mutie is sent flying into one of the stalactites you raised earlier. (...) The one remaining rat is ejected from its hidey hole and flung across the room, but seems otherwise unharmed.

Fantasy: Command the Ghost of Bloodbeard to possess the Batman and save me!

(...) Bloodbeard appears to be sleeping. You continue to fall toward the dining room below, (...) landing comfortably on a pile of Crundle corpses! The Bat Man hovers over you, ready to strike!

Fantasy: Pick-up the gun, and give the ax to Urist.

(...) You reach over and pick the axe and gun, then lightly toss the axe over to Urist. Urist wanders off, ignoring his friend in mortal peril, not to mention his other friend who could make use of his healing abilities. Or his own bleeding eye.

FW: Grab my axe and proceed deeper into the fortress.

(...) After receiving your axe from HEN, you head through a door at the back of the dining room. At the other side, you find yourself in the kitchen! A foul stench drifts around a corner at the rear of the kitchen, from what you can only assume is a food stockpile.

Fantasy: Have my body stumble around for a little bit with my head shouting directions at it in a comical fashion, before eventually reconnecting myself.

(...) Having full control of your body despite it being disconnected from your head allows you to explore the full comedic potential of the situation, and you take the chance to perfect the art of repeatedly bumping into walls, tripping over small objects, and placing the wrong head back on your shoulders (a Crundle's), all while your head exasperatedly yells commands at your body from afar. Eventually you tire of these antics and, after making your way clumsily across the dining room, reattach your head. You make a note to yourself to grow out your flaming lich eyebrows, take up cigar smoking, and become an undead vaudeville sensation.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Murdering snakes with gusto.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring| Mutie (Commanding) | Sword | Armor | Rat x2 (Commanding) | ≡Plump Helmet Roast≡
Wounds: Heavy Burns | Brittle Skull | Missing Right Arm | Missing Leg x2 | Light Bleeding x2 | Faint
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Tentacle Arm | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift | Lightning Rod | Bonesalve The Savior of Mending | Two Left Feet
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Whoop-whoop-whooping and schmucking around.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Derm's Leg
Wounds: No Liver | Missing Arm
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion | Armsplosion | Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Resting on a feather-soft bed of eviscerated Crundle meat.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze | Mysteeeeeeerious Package | Scrying Orb | Ghost of Bloodbeard (Commanding) | Living Peg-Leg (Parasitically Leeching Life Force From)
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing | Missing Leg x2 | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar | Possessed
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Resting his twisted ankle.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x9 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel | Map of Bistökmafol
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Twisted Ankle
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact | Best Death EVAR | Legendary Swimmer
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Imagining the veritable cornucopia of finely-aged alcoholic beverages in the next room.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Monkeytear the Fanciness of Wearing | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod | Crundle Pelt
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe | Heavy Bruising | Missing Tooth x2 | Black Eye | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard | Legendary Leatherworker
Name: Mutie
Description: A giant mass of biological matter with a cat head sticking out of it. It takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Venomous Bite

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[Dermonster]

RW: Get to the labs and gather parts like because my life depends on it.

FW:Make my right left foot into a right right foot, because my left left foot should be the only left foot left, right?.

[monk12]

Meta: Inform non-pirate/hippo hallucination that he is from the future, double-u tee eff, then explore the rest of the room.

Fantasy: Grappling hook to the face!

[Frelock]

Meta: Test gun on something non-important looking, and preferably far away

Fantasy: I believe there is a batman who needs to be delivered to the mother of death!

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Yeah... follow someone.
FW: Enter food stockpile. If applicable, look for sun berries.

[Gatleos]

No HEN? No HEN?

It took me so long to post here because my hard drive just got wiped a few days ago and I've been busy with that. Good thing all the RTRTD images are stored online! I'll get back to the turn when I can. Is everybody still alive?

[monk12]

Feel the city breakin'
and everybody shakin'
and I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive