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[Dermonster]

Oh relax, legs grow back!

*To Mutie* No zey don't.

[monk12]

addendum to fantasy action: LOOT OWN LEGS

I can't decide whether I should ask derm to summon me some monstrosities legs, or if I should take the more piratical "peg-everything" route.

[Dermonster]

I'm making you some anyway (later) so sit tight!

Its time to practice medicine!

[Gatleos]

The tailoring project is complete!

Spoiler: Lemme just beat you to the punch on this joke... (click to show/hide)

[Frelock]

Wow, that turn was just a grand exhibition of epic fails and terribly overdone overshots.

Meta: Find something to throw at the button.

Fantasy: Attack, for the glory of my god!

[Gatleos]

My favorite sentence in this update: "You steal the pants off a random corpse."

**********~
Turn 109
**********~

META TURN:

THIS IS THE FUTURE

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Potential For Anything

Actions

RW: GET TO DA SHUTTLE COCKPIT! Tell MC about situation.

(...) You explain the situation to Marshall as best you can as you run to the cockpit of the transport shuttle. Inside, you find a pedestal with a SHINY RED BUTTON on it!

RW: Continue to try and regenerate.

(...) Your chest blows apart, spewing blood violently into the air!

Meta: Pilot the now empty shuttle

(...) You start to run toward the shuttle, but a howling cyborg drops down from above and tackles you! You can hear more coming!

Meta: Loot the corpses of their clothes.

(...) You steal the pants off a random corpse. You then turn around to see an army of robots running toward you!

Meta: Find something to throw at the button.

Concentrating on the real world, you feel something in your hand. It feels like... a laser dagger.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: ?, Holodeck
Currently: Exploring.
Inventory: Underwear | Jeans | T-shirt | Watch
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG | Hangover
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: ?, Holodeck
Currently: Clutching his dagger mentally.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds (...) | Hangover
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: ?, Holodeck
Currently: Struggling with a cyborg aggressor.
Inventory: Underwear | Balloon Animal | Watch | M16
Wounds: None
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Location: ?, Holodeck
Currently: Acquiring pants.
Inventory: Watch | Ashcraver | Gauss Rifle | Pants
Wounds: Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps | Blind | Missing Tooth x3
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy | Clairvoyance | Hangover
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: ?, Holodeck
Currently: Spewing blood.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch
Wounds: Very Heavy Bleeding x2 | Pierced Lung | Faint
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now | Hangover

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The quest for The Keystone has begun.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!
Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed Miserably
Brave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.

Current Soundtrack
Battle

Actions

FW: Tectonic Shift. ROCK SPIKE!
Rats: Attack!
Mutie: Pwhn'guul i ghawl'fwata ryiu wgah uul'gwan h'iwn guu'lal.

(...) The room erupts into a cloud of dust as huge spires of rock spring from the floor!

Dermit Damn!
Derm: You dive toward the trade depot as the spires of rock explode out of the ground around you, but one of them glances off your torso and sends you flying through the air! You land on the hard stone floor with a crunch!
Frelock: You scramble back up the entrance ramp, avoiding the shower of stone!
Rats: Three of the rats are impaled on a narrow stalactite, and the last two narrowly escape!
Mutie: Mutie rolls out of the way, artfully dodging the spears of granite!
Beast: The rampaging beast (which you still can't see, owing to the cloud of dust), soars high above the cloud of dust and continues to charge toward Frelock!

(...) The rats fumble around in the dust cloud. They can't see a thing!
(...) Mutie bounces through the dust cloud, trying to find the huge creature!

"Pwhn'guul i ghawl'fwata ryiu wgah uul'gwan h'iwn guu'lal Pwhn'guul i ghawl'fwata ryiu wgah uul'gwan h'iwn guu'lal Pwhn'guul i ghawl'fwata ryiu wgah uul'gwan h'iwn guu'lal"
"T̶͙̟͚̝͌ͦͪH̨̯̤͙͚͕͓ͤͦ͜I͍̖̠͙̿͂̏̔̅̍̀ͩ͜͠ͅS͍̺̰͚̥͓͓̈̉͆ͫͪͤ̒́:͛͑ͮ̍̑̏ͫͥ͏̼̖Į̴̟ͨͭ͛̎̃͌ͩ͐͜S͕͕̾ͮn̡͚̞̠̭̩̬̙̬̎͢'̥͚̘̼͕̩̏͐̽ͯ̎̒͞ͅt̠͉̝̞̰̖̄͞:̸͓̱̺̠͕̭͎ͦw̺̞̩̩̹̽̏̚͡o̵̪̫̭̬̠ͨ̎͗̉ͯ͊ͅr̷̢̘̝͕̞̮̻ͪ̽l̺͉̪̭͓͗̈͊ͯ̊́̉́̕dͯ͢͏͙̣̜̳͍̣͖̠͠ͅ:̡̠̙̺̩͇͗͑͂̇̀͐̊͘͡o̶̢͔͕͕͎̣ͩ̏ͥfͭ͒҉̘̞̼̯̱͎̜͠ͅ:̭̖̜̤͖ͧ̓̿ͤw̧͈͉ͪ̽ͤ̌Å͗̇̍ͭ̈̚͜҉͓͕r͖̗̪͍̟͚ͦ̽̌ͩ̏̀ç̵̪̦͎͎̱̙̪̈̊͊r̸̜̼̈̆ͯ͋̿͡ả̧͈̅͌ͥͭͦ̋̽̑͞f̼̮̝̙ͮ̍̍͐͗͂̃͘͞t̫̬̪̦̩̗̮̀̉̓ͤ̓̔̋ͭ:̶̮̣ͦ́d̵̡̰̥͈̍̓ͯ̆͞e̡͇͙͇͉̳͆̄ͦ̿̽ͬr̈́̄ͭ͡҉̸͙͇̭̠m̟̫̹͙ͫ̽ͮ̐ͤ͆ͦͪͪ̀́:̷̋ͭ̿̉ͭ̿̉ͥͩ͌ͫ͂҉̘͉͎̠̣b̥̩ͭ͐ͪ̇͘͟e̵̗̹̫̲͔͍͖͐͆͛͂ͫ̑̀́S̲̯̯̟̃ͦ̇͗i̢͚̙̲̩̟͓͚͎̜̋ͬ͘d̢͎͕͇̩ͪ̀̅́̋͌̌̀́ẽ̔̎͐̊ͥ͏̻̩̫͟s̛̙̰̮͗͟͞:̷͎̝̱̖͍̦͓̰͂̀i̙̭͕͙͉͋̂̉͠:̶̎͂̄̈́͏̳͓̕ş̨̡̪̳̭͈̌̔̔ͬͯͫ̈p͈͚͇͈̞̈̊̔ͣ́͞Ë̹̖͈̃̈̓ͨ̈͛̌̀a̭̦̻̠̟͊̀̒́ͤͬ͟k̟͉̘͂̈ͮ͒:̤̬̈ͪ̄ͮ͊́̃̎a̘̫͓̤̯͇̬̔͂:̸̼̥̰͖̯̰͙̝̦ͪͨ̈̿̀s̴̤͖͚̳̘̳̩ͭ̽͡͠ǒ͕̥͉̪͐̕ǘ̥͖͈̳̠̦͕̊͗̓ͦ͡t̘̗̟̰̻̠͔ͣ͌̌ͯ̿͂͛ͪ̚h̡͂̏͋̈̓ͫ͗ͤ҉̴̼̹͇̠̘w̫̹̲͇͓ͣ̌͜e̤̲̭̮͖̝̍͌ͣ̆̐̇̏s̨̫̬̠̫̟͉͈̹͆̓̏͂ͯ͊́ṱ̖̫͕͋̔͑̈́̚͞͡e͊͠҉͉̺r̙̜̠̉ͣ̎́͠͠n̵̸͈̘̽͛̇͊͜:͔̞̱̹̠̗̮̝͉̇͑̕͠ḍ̶̫̙̉ͬ͊̒ͅͅi̡̜͇͓̻̾͗͒͋ͧͥͭ͢ͅȃ͖̂̓ͣ̋͛ͣ̕͜l̨͓̄͟e͔̤͖͌̉ͥͬC̒͏̶̙̬̪̱̲̰̯̞t͋͛͑҉͉̯̦̲:̞͉̱͗̃̐͐̈̽̕͡͝o̟͕͎̰ͤ̆̓̕͠f̨̛͇̯͇̭͖ͮͪͮͅ:̤̰̱͚̋̉͂̓z͔͔͔͑͌ͬ̒̍ͬả̸̴̝͇͇̻͈̞̮̱͊̍l̏̀͋ͣͮ͗̏ͭ͏̨҉͕͙͈͉̼͇̦̲̤g̛͓̭ͯ͐̄ǫ̩̦͇̦̤͇ͥ͛̒̔ͦ͜n̨̪̫̲̭ͯ͌̍̈́͒͞i̥̮̞̗͙̣̳̟̅̓͢ͅä̧̧͍̠̟̪́̄n̨̓̾̐͏̙̣̩:̠̜̝̯ͬͦͭṇ̢̲͚̱͌͐ͬöͥ̌ͮ͌̓̊ͤ҉̴̫͖̯̜ṫ̺̠̬͉̻̀̓:̳̿̾ͬ͋ͤŔ̀҉͚͎͚͓̰̲̜l̜͉͕̅̑̄'͇ͪ̀̀̇̎͢͡y̸̷̖̳̼̲̥̰͛̾͆ͥ͂̃̕Ḛ͓͇̺̫ͬ̀̚͜h̵̪̪̥̩̬̊͌͌ͧ̈́̈͑̌n̶̻̠͐̅̋̌̚ǐ̀́ͦ͗ͦ̓͋͏͙̺͍̹́s̡̗̝̙͉͙͈͚̰͛͂͋̀h̫̳͎̙̭͚͉̫̦ͨ̏͜:͈͍̺͕̻̻̈́͐̍̏͛̇̑ẉ̠̞̰̟̬̋ͣ̓͟h̡͉͓̹̉̀ͬ͂ͯͦͦ͌ͅa͖͎͈ͤ̅̄T̨̞̹̝̉͐̅̿̓̓ͨͧ́e̐ͤͤ͒͊̍͏͚̙̩̞v͔͖̺͓̦̺͕̟̀͋̋̽̒̚͡e̥̮̱̪͎ͧ͞ͅṛ̴͎͙̻̮ͫ́͜:͉̺̭̙͚̬̇̆i̸̵͉͉̲̣̲̻͉ͧͬͬ̽͐̑ͪ̅̄:̹̱̜̫̥͈̭̱͓̈́ͪͦ͒̍ͤ̋̇g̵̤̠͕̘ͭ͘͞u̥̤͖̖̪̱̪͐͛ͭ̅͐ͯ̚e̼̩̯̜̠̊́̃̒͆̀͡š̸͔̜̗̱͚͚̲̺̊ͭͪͮ͗̀ͨͦ͜s̹͙̬̮ͩͥͮ̑͑ͣ:̷̶̦̮͍̺̤̂̃͑̄̏ͯ͊y̩͔͇̒͗̚o̹̰̊̑ṳ̸͓̝̫͙̼̑̃͊̿̎̀͝:̡͎͕͎̓̔̽ͣͥ̎w͈̞͎̬͈̙̥̌͂̀̚a̤ͩ̒̕ͅn̟̝ͣ̈̋̒ṱ̦̗̝ͮ̏͂̔ͪ̎:̵̞͍̍̒̓̅̆ͨ̆͌m̳̭̪̝̯̗̬̏͆́̄e̳̎ͧ̊̕͢:̤̬͉̞̫̬̀̆̐͋͌̕t̴̸̼͓̳ͮ́ͅo̸̻̟̘̠ͬ̑͑ͪ:͎̲̤̼̝͐ͣ̋ͤ̅͒̀͟a̹͙͙̘̫͑ͨ͌ͦ̌̋̎͗̀t̰͕̱̭̰̝̉ͤ̎̂͊͘ͅtͪ̽͗͏̧̤̠a̠͇̺̤͖̓͌ͤ̊̍͒̀͠c̽͗̓ͧ͋̓ͭ҉͈̺̮̰̠̥̦̳͎͜k̛͇̱̾ͅ"     ...Mrowwr.

Mutie finds the beast and jumps at it! (...) The beast doesn't see Mutie coming, and gets knocked to the ground by his body slam!

FW: Don the tuxedo while healing Edgar!

(...) You set the tuxedo aside and pull out your axe, then throw it at Edgar! (...) He heaves himself into the air, performs a handspring off the battleaxe in midair, and delivers a flying left hook to your face!

Fantasy: Ask the dwarf for healing. Mourn Bloodbeard (the rat, not the prick), and put my severed legs in my bag. (if that is too many, I'll skip the bereavement.

(...) You mourn the loss of that rat that you owned for, like, ten seconds. Then, you take your disconnected legs and stuff them into your pack for safekeeping.

"Can you heal me Urist? Pleeeaaase?"
"MRRRPPNNHHHNNNNPPPHHHHH!!"
"PRETTY PWEEEEEEAAAAAASE?!"

You ask so politely that Urist has no choice but to oblige! (...) He manages to slow down the bleeding by tying some rat intestines around your legs. Blood still seeps from the wounds.

"SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~"
"Hooray!"

A swirling trail of light loops several times around a spot in the center of the courtyard, a chest fading into existence as it does so!

Fantasy: Heal my wounds.

You take yet another leaf off of your barrel; one too many, apparently. The barrel starts leaking gunpowder. You wrap the leaf around your arm.

Fantasy: Attack, for the glory of my god!

(...) You run over to the roaring creature while it's trapped under Mutie and stab it in the eye! It howls in pain!

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Watching little birds and stars fly around his head. Also, his eyes look like squigglies.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring| Mutie (Commanding) | Sword | Armor | Rat x2 (Commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Burns | Missing Left Hand | Concussion
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Tentacle Arm | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift | Lightning Rod | Bonesalve The Savior of Mending
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Stabbing things.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: Asthma
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion | Armsplosion | Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Courtyard, Bistökmafol
Currently: Hugging his ghost rat pal.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze | Mysteeeeeeerious Package | Ghost of Bloodbeard (Commanding)
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing | Missing Leg x2 | Very Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Moat, Bistökmafol
Currently: Healing himself.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x18 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact | Best Death EVAR
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Location: Courtyard, Bistökmafol
Currently: Spitting blood.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Monkeytear the Fanciness of Wearing | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe | Heavy Bruising | Missing Tooth x2 | Black Eye
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard | Legendary Leatherworker
Name: Mutie
Description: A giant mass of biological matter with a cat head sticking out of it. It takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: None

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[Dermonster]

RW: Push the button, play the guitar.

FW: Heal concussion
Rats! Attack!
           P̷͋̏̾̃͒͆̈́͑̉̐̆̐ͭ͜͏̝̖̥̻̳͚̲̲͖̘͎̹͚̯͖͙h̡̧̢̼̜͈̯͔̫͓̦͍̳̳ͣ̃͑̽ͅͅ'̯̳͉̳̖̬͍͇̣͚̲̻̒̐͊͑̎̓̆̍ͥͪͨ͑̀́ͮͫ͟͠n̸̢̠̮̮͖̟͚̺͔̼̥̺͉̺̱͛͗ͯͧͫ̎̒ͣ̔͑̓̑̅͡ͅͅg̨̢̬̯̩̜ͬ͛͐̆̾̀l̢̥̭̻̲͚͍̭̠͕̖̫̱̺̱̖̒ͤ͐̀ͦ́ͯ̽̓̑̉̽̔u̢ͤ͛ͬͦ̿̀ͧͫͣ͊̏͢͝҉͓̳͇͇͉͎̼̩̰͓̞͔̮̝̥̱͉̫͢i̶̐ͣ̔͗̌͛̽͐ͤ̊͋̏҉͔̭̝͓̤̖͚̀  ̸̢̥͍̱̤͎̙̿ͨ̂̋ͮ͌̐̄͆̽̚̕̕͢m̨͓̻̱̫̗̏̊̓ͨ͛̎̅̔́̏̾̐̇ͫ̐ͯ̒ͮ͞g̡̧̢̧̛͙͖͙͈͎̹̫̫͓̠̠̒̎̈́ͩ̎ͬ̈͑ͧ͌l̓͆̆ͥͯͦ̃̄ͧ̀͘͏̡̭͖̟̭ͅw͊̑ͬ͒ͦ̿͒̐͊̾̃̆́̚͡͞͏̖̫̟͙̞̣͕̣̟̙'̵̷̨̛̼͉̝̙̜̱̣̣͇̪̭̭̙̖̱ͯͮͧ͊͂̾͛̂̾̆̉ͬͣ̓͝n̺̩͙̺̬͇̬͔̫͔̬̟̞̉ͨ̂̓̄͐͐̐̈̋͋̅͟͠a̛͖̗̪͚ͪ̆̾̒̏̌̋̃ͫ̏̂͊͋͑ͯ̕f͚̭̯̠̐͒̽̽̏ͪ̈́͊̅̎̈́̄͡h͌̓̂ͣͬ̅̍͑̎̃̐́͏̡͓̥̫̳̙̘͎͈̤̬̣̪̟͓͉̞͘͠ͅ   ̵̴̨͕̰̠͚̙̣̦͓̻̯̗̯̗̬ͦ̍͛ͨ̉̒ͣ̎ͦ̒̂̉̽͂͜Z̢̧͎̲̣̬͔̣̰͉̣͉̖̻͍͉̝̻͓ͦͩͨ͛̓͌̆̊͐̾̇̀͟͠ạ̴̢̥̱͚͖̤͉̖̘̠̼͓͙͙͉͔͗̌ͦ͆̋̒ͬ͑̆͐̃̑͟l̵͍̥̥̖̗͍̳̲ͧ̉͗ͨ̔̒ͭ͒ͤͩ̚ͅg̅̒͐̋̄̀̐́ͨ̃̀̑͂͡͏͕̙̩o̴̷͕̥̻͎̩̭͓̜̹̟͔͇̟̠͖̘̤͂ͥͤ͌̄̌̈́ͤ̈̉̔̍͆́́̚͟  ̷̧̡̳̫͉̮̗̠͍̯͇̒̈́͑͊͑͛̽̑̏ͦ̚ͅȉ̵̖̥̣̻͙̩͔͍̙̮̖̃̂̀͋ͥ͑̿̾̿̀̕͞͠ģ̱̹̮̮̹͉̟͉͐̈́̏͒̀͆͑̋̏ͧ͌ͮ̒̀͜n̶̛̻̦̹̱̜̯̰̜͒̈̑ͫ͗́ͅu̷ͥͣ̑ͧ̂͋ͤͧ̏̅̑̿̿̊ͧ͌͟҉̻̤̖͠  ̡̧͈̯͚͚͔̔̿̈́̌̽̇̃ͭͥf̞̭̖̝͙̻͕̭ͣ̔ͪ̽̉ͨ͋̊̈́͡r̵̯̥̺̲͓͚̲̙̠̰͙̩͎̘̉̓̎̓͊ͪͅ'̵͓̰̥͈̳̺̭̗͚͍̜͖̣͙̹ͧ̌̍͐̀ͭͯͨ͘h̸̨̗̩̣̩̤͉̱̘̳̗̗̅̑̓̃̾̏̊̚ṉ̨̲̺͇̘͉͍̮͎̖̖̘͖͔͔͎̦̞̻̅ͮͧ͑ͦ̉ͮ̐ͯ́  ̡͓̯̮̙̻͚̙͖̰̻͔̦̺̥̓̊̓̏̈̃̓̈́̅͐ͦ͒ͮͯ͋ͧ̚̚͘͠͡w̶̷̢ͦ͌̾͒̄̀ͤ͋̇͟҉̱̤̻̜̭͍̹͇͈̩̫̬͚̗̝̣͔ğ͂̀̐̈͑ͥ̏̔͑̚̕͏͏̶̡̖͔̣̤ą͔͍͚̟̤̯̲̗͖̓ͤ̎͒͐̉͑͗͐̕͡h̸̻̮̳̻̳̯̝̎̔̒̐̓̆̄̽́͠͡͠'̷̸̤̗̲͔̫̭̹̩̼̩͔̮̭̹̳̀̿ͭ͌ͬͩ͛͌ͮ͢ņ̢̹̘̜̼̱̼͎̙̫̬̤̜ͩ͂ͨ̑͂͆ͥ͑̉́̚̚͡͞a̸̛͚̘̳͍̬͍͉̬ͦ͂͆͒ͦ̏̌̊ͫͦ͢͝ģ̶̹̝̻͖̰͍͚̼̰̺͙͎̰̹̖̪̬͆ͤ̽̅̚̕lͥͣͦ̉̊͒̾̂ͤ̋̾̓̍̂̕͟͏̜̭͉̭͈̝̗̪͕͇̮͈̮  ̵̧̛̙̥͕͉̤͖̞̖͚̰̑̎ͣͨ̍̿̄̎̎ͧͫ́̕f͚̻̲͇̩͇̮̗͓͈͉̼̤̗̼̪͐̓̓̾̈́͗̂̅͗̎ͣ̉̀̔̆̎̀͟͜͢͠h̛̻͉̭͈̟̘̮̲̯͔̝͖͎̤̼̑ͨ̓̏̈̌̌̒ͫ͐͗ͤ͒ͫ͌ͧ̉͆͢͞t̴̢͓͎̺̺̣͙̩̝̰̏̈́ͤ͊ͬ͆̏̈̾̂ͪ̕͠ǎ̡͍̪͍̙̦̩͛̈̿̄̉̑͗̃̾ͧ̅ͤ͌̽͗ͮ̚͜͟g̴ͯ̄ͪ̚̕͝҉͉͓̟̗̥̱̝̙͍̺̠̳̙ͅn̴̡̨̤̫͓̝̱͕͕̣͇̦̘̮̳̯͎̺ͩ̊̋̐ͪͫ̆̃̔̊̍ͧ̚͜-̥̲̮̝̬̞̌͊ͦͬ͑̐͛́̚͘ͅ-̻̞̻̋͑ͥ̀-͍͚ͭ̌̉-̰̞͇͚̣͇̈́͛ͤ͌̊̕ͅ-̴̨̪̖̤̻̜̜̩̥̊ͤ̏ͨ͜-̯̮͍͔̦̻̣͔͓ͭ̏ͩͨͣͯ̏͘-̷̜̥̼̪̂ͪ̚-̍̃̒̒͗̆̂̈́̕͏̲̥̜̠̫͡-̸̨̩͔ͦ̾-̝͎̻̤͚͚̄͑̇ͬͯ̄͠-̢͓͔̻̝̤̎ͥ͂ͤ̈͢ͅ-̧͚̪̙̘̜̲ͤ̂̈́ͬͫ͛̃͂͝-̯̗̣̄͂̀͝-̠̤̞͖͈͕͌́͋̉̔̕-̆̽͗͌̃͂̿͆ͤͨ͑̌ͭ͂͊ͩ͏̷̭̣͚̜̥̥̻͘͝-̛̹͉̝̝͕̗͇̺͖̩̫̮̄̅̍̉̑̉ͧ̿ͭͥ̍͐̃̀͂̚͜͝͝ͅͅ-̧̛̭̩̥̭̮̬͔͚̥̗͈̱ͪ͒͗͛̓̈ͩͤ̃̔̈́̋́̀-̡̪̺̥̹̝̲͕͉͔͉͉͚̳̗͍̯̫ͨ̆̔ͦ̋͌̇̉̏̍͒̓̀̂͒̓̊ͯ̀͠ͅ-̡̧̧͍̠͚̭̩̲̏̀ͣ̿ͩ̾̆̍͋ͪ͑̾ͧ͆͛͋ͯ͐͜-̷̛̼͓̲͚̝̘̞̼͇̩̬̙̹͚̣͈̓͐͛̑̊̈́ͩͤ̈̽̈̇̏̓ͤ͘ͅ-̨̛̛ͯ̔͊ͨ̎ͭ̾̈̍ͥ͒̈́ͭ̒̋̊̆̚͞͏̫̪̤̭̗̬̞͇̰̜̜͉̦͚̠̻̩̬̱-̤̘̺̜̳̗̼͇̊͐͆̇ͪͮͬ͌͌ͨͫ̇ͫ̄ͯ̀́͢ͅ-̶̡̛͓͈̱̪̦̼̤̭̭̞͈̲̩̪̼̯̻̤ͨ̃̉̍̆̈́ͫͮ̆̊̆͐̉́̕-̟̝͓͎̠̱̟͕̠͔̖̰̩̥̤͗̽͌͗̈͆̊̇̃ͣͧ͋́͡
Mutie: J̓ͩͧ́͏͚͉̣̲͎͎͇uͮͪ҉͉̰̘̺͇ś̶̢̨̯̤͈͍̥̏̌t̆ͧ̀ͮ̍͗͏͙̦̘̜̘̳̀͡   ̽̌ͭ͏̗̟̩͚͚̘͙̺v̷̯̼̪̫̀ͩ̏̀î̏͝҉̹̠ỏ͉͍͎̦̩̂ͩ̌̃̎ͫ̽ͭl̴̞̙͉̫̪̖̺ͬͧ͒ą̗̰ͪ̀t̑ͦ̈́ͬ̉ͬ͘͏҉̬̥̪̮̺̹e̖͇̞̼ͯ̄̆͒ͮͭͮ̚ -̸͚͉̦̰̹̩̯̖̹̬̘̦͚ͦͧͯ̇̅̇͐̿̉̀-̸̸̡͚͉̦̰̹̩̯̖̹̬̘̦͚͉̟̙̥̲̖͇ͦͧͯ̇̅̇͐̿̉̀̆͛̏́̚ͅt̸̲̞̓̈ͬͪͫĥ̋͋̇͋ͯ͏̜͙͍̣͉͚͈̫͟e͚̺̙̳̊̅ͫ̓̽͡-̸͚͉̦̰̹̩̯̖̹̬̘̦͚ͦͧͯ̇̅̇͐̿̉̀  ̰͙̖̲̘͇̯̅̋ͫͯͮt͇̱̙̒̂ͤ͂̉͆̒͜h̯͔͔͎ͧͣ̿ͪ̔̄ͯͭ̈́̀͠ͅi̤͎͔̐̓ͣ̂̍̅̿ň̪̱͖̿g̛̟͆͑   ̴̺̘̖͖͙͉̎̋i̸͎͕̝̣̎ͅň̢̮͕͖͉͍̙͙̳̘͂ͫ̓̀   ̶͉͕̻̝͓̐̃ͯͪ̕w̞͔͍͙̭͔͎̮͋͠͡aͤ̂̓̊̔̓̃ͥ҉̨̮̰̜̦͎͇̬͇̯ȳ̴̪͈͂̔̏̉̂s̬̻̻̱͚̠͊̋̓͆̐ͣ̇͞   ̡̲̟͈̝̺̌̋ͩ́nͣ̊ͤ̾̑̒҉̛͎͎̘̝o͙̦͕̥̲̾̒ͨ̌ͅ  -̸͚͉̦̰̹̩̯̖̹̬̘̦͚ͦͧͯ̇̅̇͐̿̉̀̚҉̧͍m̞͎̖̦͓̩̠̗̙̊ͧ̿̃ͩ͑ă̼̮̜̰̗̭̞ͦ̀͢n̞̜̘̞̫͌ͨ͗̈́   ͆͋̓͑͌͒͆҉͕͍̣́c̨̢̹͕͉͖̣͐͊͒͜ă̢͈̙̣̓ͨ̔ͦ͐ͧͨn̴̨̟̰̣̟̝͔͍̈ͫ͂̈́̈́̀̍̑̓   ̝̯̾̋ͨ̓̆͛ċ̡̙͕̫̝͕̊o͖͙͓̠̬̺̦̫͍ͣͦm̶̈́̍͆̓̇̋̾̅҉̪͉̹p̫̻̲̹̩̰̻̬̔r̴̢ͩ̊҉̗̳̮͈̯̳̹̺̰e̍ͬ͊ͭ̅ͨ̎͐͏͏͔̻̳͔̘̦̜ͅh̝̙̤̗͕̪̮̭̣̀̕͠e̵̱̓ͯ̃̄̚͘n͕̜̼̼͓̈́̉̌̌̋ͅͅd͚̘͉͚̒ͣ͡͠     ̸̡̭͉̭̪̬̟̳͍̍̄̎͌͑͒̀ͤa̪͐̈́ͣͧ̌͛̎̉͟͝l̴͍̩̳̗̓ͣ̀ŗ̛̮̞͚̖̹̘̩̦ͩ̑e̷̛̗̮̟ͨͮͩ͠a̭̺ͤ̈̂̄ḏ̵̺̘͛͛ͤ̓ͣ̈͝y̖̻͓̦̭̦̟̯̝͋ͩ̿!̢̝̥̳̏̓̏̋͛̃̈́͜
           P̷͋̏̾̃͒͆̈́͑̉̐̆̐ͭ͜͏̝̖̥̻̳͚̲̲͖̘͎̹͚̯͖͙h̡̧̢̼̜͈̯͔̫͓̦͍̳̳ͣ̃͑̽ͅͅ'̯̳͉̳̖̬͍͇̣͚̲̻̒̐͊͑̎̓̆̍ͥͪͨ͑̀́ͮͫ͟͠n̸̢̠̮̮͖̟͚̺͔̼̥̺͉̺̱͛͗ͯͧͫ̎̒ͣ̔͑̓̑̅͡ͅͅg̨̢̬̯̩̜ͬ͛͐̆̾̀l̢̥̭̻̲͚͍̭̠͕̖̫̱̺̱̖̒ͤ͐̀ͦ́ͯ̽̓̑̉̽̔u̢ͤ͛ͬͦ̿̀ͧͫͣ͊̏͢͝҉͓̳͇͇͉͎̼̩̰͓̞͔̮̝̥̱͉̫͢i̶̐ͣ̔͗̌͛̽͐ͤ̊͋̏҉͔̭̝͓̤̖͚̀  ̸̢̥͍̱̤͎̙̿ͨ̂̋ͮ͌̐̄͆̽̚̕̕͢m̨͓̻̱̫̗̏̊̓ͨ͛̎̅̔́̏̾̐̇ͫ̐ͯ̒ͮ͞g̡̧̢̧̛͙͖͙͈͎̹̫̫͓̠̠̒̎̈́ͩ̎ͬ̈͑ͧ͌l̓͆̆ͥͯͦ̃̄ͧ̀͘͏̡̭͖̟̭ͅw͊̑ͬ͒ͦ̿͒̐͊̾̃̆́̚͡͞͏̖̫̟͙̞̣͕̣̟̙'̵̷̨̛̼͉̝̙̜̱̣̣͇̪̭̭̙̖̱ͯͮͧ͊͂̾͛̂̾̆̉ͬͣ̓͝n̺̩͙̺̬͇̬͔̫͔̬̟̞̉ͨ̂̓̄͐͐̐̈̋͋̅͟͠a̛͖̗̪͚ͪ̆̾̒̏̌̋̃ͫ̏̂͊͋͑ͯ̕f͚̭̯̠̐͒̽̽̏ͪ̈́͊̅̎̈́̄͡h͌̓̂ͣͬ̅̍͑̎̃̐́͏̡͓̥̫̳̙̘͎͈̤̬̣̪̟͓͉̞͘͠ͅ  ̵̴̨͕̰̠͚̙̣̦͓̻̯̗̯̗̬ͦ̍͛ͨ̉̒ͣ̎ͦ̒̂̉̽͂͜Z̢̧͎̲̣̬͔̣̰͉̣͉̖̻͍͉̝̻͓ͦͩͨ͛̓͌̆̊͐̾̇̀͟͠ạ̴̢̥̱͚͖̤͉̖̘̠̼͓͙͙͉͔͗̌ͦ͆̋̒ͬ͑̆͐̃̑͟l̵͍̥̥̖̗͍̳̲ͧ̉͗ͨ̔̒ͭ͒ͤͩ̚ͅg̅̒͐̋̄̀̐́ͨ̃̀̑͂͡͏͕̙̩o̴̷͕̥̻͎̩̭͓̜̹̟͔͇̟̠͖̘̤͂ͥͤ͌̄̌̈́ͤ̈̉̔̍͆́́̚͟  ̷̧̡̳̫͉̮̗̠͍̯͇̒̈́͑͊͑͛̽̑̏ͦ̚ͅȉ̵̖̥̣̻͙̩͔͍̙̮̖̃̂̀͋ͥ͑̿̾̿̀̕͞͠ģ̱̹̮̮̹͉̟͉͐̈́̏͒̀͆͑̋̏ͧ͌ͮ̒̀͜n̶̛̻̦̹̱̜̯̰̜͒̈̑ͫ͗́ͅu̷ͥͣ̑ͧ̂͋ͤͧ̏̅̑̿̿̊ͧ͌͟҉̻̤̖͠  ̡̧͈̯͚͚͔̔̿̈́̌̽̇̃ͭͥf̞̭̖̝͙̻͕̭ͣ̔ͪ̽̉ͨ͋̊̈́͡r̵̯̥̺̲͓͚̲̙̠̰͙̩͎̘̉̓̎̓͊ͪͅ'̵͓̰̥͈̳̺̭̗͚͍̜͖̣͙̹ͧ̌̍͐̀ͭͯͨ͘h̸̨̗̩̣̩̤͉̱̘̳̗̗̅̑̓̃̾̏̊̚ṉ̨̲̺͇̘͉͍̮͎̖̖̘͖͔͔͎̦̞̻̅ͮͧ͑ͦ̉ͮ̐ͯ́  ̡͓̯̮̙̻͚̙͖̰̻͔̦̺̥̓̊̓̏̈̃̓̈́̅͐ͦ͒ͮͯ͋ͧ̚̚͘͠͡w̶̷̢ͦ͌̾͒̄̀ͤ͋̇͟҉̱̤̻̜̭͍̹͇͈̩̫̬͚̗̝̣͔ğ͂̀̐̈͑ͥ̏̔͑̚̕͏͏̶̡̖͔̣̤ą͔͍͚̟̤̯̲̗͖̓ͤ̎͒͐̉͑͗͐̕͡h̸̻̮̳̻̳̯̝̎̔̒̐̓̆̄̽́͠͡͠'̷̸̤̗̲͔̫̭̹̩̼̩͔̮̭̹̳̀̿ͭ͌ͬͩ͛͌ͮ͢ņ̢̹̘̜̼̱̼͎̙̫̬̤̜ͩ͂ͨ̑͂͆ͥ͑̉́̚̚͡͞a̸̛͚̘̳͍̬͍͉̬ͦ͂͆͒ͦ̏̌̊ͫͦ͢͝ģ̶̹̝̻͖̰͍͚̼̰̺͙͎̰̹̖̪̬͆ͤ̽̅̚̕lͥͣͦ̉̊͒̾̂ͤ̋̾̓̍̂̕͟͏̜̭͉̭͈̝̗̪͕͇̮͈̮  ̵̧̛̙̥͕͉̤͖̞̖͚̰̑̎ͣͨ̍̿̄̎̎ͧͫ́̕f͚̻̲͇̩͇̮̗͓͈͉̼̤̗̼̪͐̓̓̾̈́͗̂̅͗̎ͣ̉̀̔̆̎̀͟͜͢͠h̛̻͉̭͈̟̘̮̲̯͔̝͖͎̤̼̑ͨ̓̏̈̌̌̒ͫ͐͗ͤ͒ͫ͌ͧ̉͆͢͞t̴̢͓͎̺̺̣͙̩̝̰̏̈́ͤ͊ͬ͆̏̈̾̂ͪ̕͠ǎ̡͍̪͍̙̦̩͛̈̿̄̉̑͗̃̾ͧ̅ͤ͌̽͗ͮ̚͜͟g̴ͯ̄ͪ̚̕͝҉͉͓̟̗̥̱̝̙͍̺̠̳̙ͅn̴̡̨̤̫͓̝̱͕͕̣͇̦̘̮̳̯͎̺̠̤̞͖͈͕ͩ̊̋̐ͪͫ̆̃̔̊̍ͧ͌́͋̉̔̚̕͜-͈̯̱͛͛̎̓̕-̧̼̲̣̟̩͉ͦ̅ͦ̌-̗͎̫̬͔̙̯̹͈̈́ͫ̐́͝-̮͙̰̊ͣ̒̈̾͌-̷̅̐͟͏̯̱̮̯-̷͎̞͈̾̓ͣ̀-̹̘̖͍͙͙̆ͨ̑͐̀-̵͕͕̬͕̰͙͚͑͊͌̄̎͌-̤̣̻̫̥̭̙̞͌ͧ̀͌ͥ͜-̟͖̊̈ͤ̀̈̓̌̅͘-͔̪̫ͤ̄̄ͫ̍͘͡͞-̻̜̘̊--̆̽͗͌̃͂̿͆ͤͨ͑̌ͭ͂͊ͩ͏̷̭̣͚̜̥̥̻͘͝-̛̹͉̝̝͕̗͇̺͖̩̫̮̄̅̍̉̑̉ͧ̿ͭͥ̍͐̃̀͂̚͜͝͝ͅͅ-̧̛̭̩̥̭̮̬͔͚̥̗͈̱ͪ͒͗͛̓̈ͩͤ̃̔̈́̋́̀-̡̪̺̥̹̝̲͕͉͔͉͉͚̳̗͍̯̫ͨ̆̔ͦ̋͌̇̉̏̍͒̓̀̂͒̓̊ͯ̀͠ͅ-̡̧̧͍̠͚̭̩̲̏̀ͣ̿ͩ̾̆̍͋ͪ͑̾ͧ͆͛͋ͯ͐͜-̷̛̼͓̲͚̝̘̞̼͇̩̬̙̹͚̣͈̓͐͛̑̊̈́ͩͤ̈̽̈̇̏̓ͤ͘ͅ-̨̛̛ͯ̔͊ͨ̎ͭ̾̈̍ͥ͒̈́ͭ̒̋̊̆̚͞͏̫̪̤̭̗̬̞͇̰̜̜͉̦͚̠̻̩̬̱-̤̘̺̜̳̗̼͇̊͐͆̇ͪͮͬ͌͌ͨͫ̇ͫ̄ͯ̀́͢ͅ-̶̡̛͓͈̱̪̦̼̤̭̭̞͈̲̩̪̼̯̻̤ͨ̃̉̍̆̈́ͫͮ̆̊̆͐̉́̕-̟̝͓͎̠̱̟͕̠͔̖̰̩̥̤͗̽͌͗̈͆̊̇̃ͣͧ͋́͡

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Shoot Robots with Gauss Rifle
Fantasy: Pluck another leaf from somewhere and fix the barrel.

[Frelock]

Fine, I'll give in and go with a GM suggestion just once.

Meta: Throw dagger at the control panel

Fantasy: Continue stabbing.  Blood for the Death God!

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Call upon my fantasy self to teach me what to do. And grab some clothes off a corpse to try and heal the wound.
FW: Don the tuxedo and try to warp into the real world.

[monk12]

Meta: Telekineticaly blast cyborg(s) away from me

Fantasy: Drag self to chest

[HighEndNoob]

Poke. Poke.

[Gatleos]

Poke. Poke.

Ow! Stop that. Turn coming soon- oh wait here it is. Also, it turns out that Zalgo text pushes me over the character limit with just a few sentences. And without it I'm only about halfway to the character limit. Yeah.

This has been updating really sporadically lately. Let's change that. Back to rapid updates and OOC banter! You realize several story elements have come from those kind of comments, right?

**********~
Turn 110
**********~

META TURN:

THIS IS THE FUTURE

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Potential For Anything

Actions

RW: Push the button, play the guitar.

(...) You spend the next 30 seconds unleashing some sweet lixx from your back-mounted guitar. You then slam it onto the pedestal, mashing down the button and snapping the guitar in half! On the plus side, you have spontaneously gained guitar-playing skills out of nowhere.

Meta: Shoot Robots with Gauss Rifle

(...) Pulling out your massive gauss rifle, you obliterate the advancing horde of cyborgs! Mechanical limbs fly everywhere!

Fine, I'll give in and go with a GM suggestion just once. Meta: Throw dagger at the control panel

(...) The GM denies the accusations of nudging the player toward favorable actions, but suggests that, if he had done so in this situation, it would be to make reference to this.

Anyway, your efforts are less than successful, though you still have the dagger on your person.

RW: Call upon my fantasy self to teach me what to do. And grab some clothes off a corpse to try and heal the wound.

(...) You crawl over to a nearby corpse and tear some burnt cloth off the torso, then wrap it around your own. It seems to help a little, but you still feel faint.

Meta: Telekineticaly blast cyborg(s) away from me

(...) You push the cyborgs out of the way with your mind, and they are immediately mowed down by gauss rifle fire. You can vaguely hear the sound of guitar shreddage in your mind. Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain on your scalp like someone hit you over the head with something heavy! You become dizzy and feel warm blood trickling down your face.

The world begins to spin, and the tarmac goes out of focus! A new, unfamiliar environment once again materializes around you. You're standing in a large, open room surrounded by people in uniforms. It appears to be a large communal dining hall. You can see the void of space from the tall windows against the far wall. Derm looks at his watch: June 29, 2196.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Space, Holodeck
Currently: Wielding the guitar. Being El Kabong.
Inventory: Underwear | Jeans | T-shirt | Watch
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG | Aptitude for Guitar Shreddage
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: Space, Holodeck
Currently: Clutching his dagger mentally.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds (...) | Hangover
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: Space, Holodeck
Currently: Rubbing his head.
Inventory: Underwear | Balloon Animal | Watch | M16
Wounds: Light Bleeding
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Location: Space, Holodeck
Currently: Cocking his gun dramatically.
Inventory: Watch | Ashcraver | Gauss Rifle | Pants
Wounds: Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps | Blind | Missing Tooth x3
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy | Clairvoyance | Hangover
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Space, Holodeck
Currently: Leaking blood.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch
Wounds: Very Heavy Bleeding x2 | Pierced Lung | Faint
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now | Hangover

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The quest for The Keystone has begun.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!
Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed Miserably
Brave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.

Current Soundtrack
Battle

Actions

FW: Heal concussion
Rats! Attack!
Mutie: *babbles incoherently*

(...) You invoke your bone-mending powers! Unfortunately, a concussion has nothing to do with your bones and thus cannot be fixed by your powers. So instead you try to thicken your skull. The results are predictable.
(...) The rats swarm all over the beast, drawing blood wherever they can! It's dying from blood loss!
(...) Mutie rolls his eyes and begins slamming down on the beast repeatedly! It's ready for a death blow!

Fantasy: Pluck another leaf from somewhere and fix the barrel.

(...) You snatch a leaf from a nearby fern and stuff it into the leak. It's plugged for now.

Fantasy: Continue stabbing.  Blood for the Death God!

(...) You deliver a mighty stab to the beast, fracturing the skull, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain! The blood on the floor evaporates, and you feel normal again! Your skeletal system is whole and you are filled with energy.

FW: Don the tuxedo and try to warp into the real world.

(...) You put the tuxedo on backwards, then put on a look of intense constipation for a few seconds before giving up on mental teleportation.

Fantasy: Drag self to chest

(...) You drag yourself over to the chest and examine it. It's your standard dungeon chest, made of dark, aged wood and lined with iron trim. You reach out and open the chest, and a blinding light shoots out from it! You reach inside, and...



You found a Small Key!
This key will open a locked
door. You can use it only
in this dungeon.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Debuffing himself.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring| Mutie (Commanding) | Sword | Armor | Rat x2 (Commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Burns | Missing Left Hand | Concussion | Brittle Skull
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Tentacle Arm | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift | Lightning Rod | Bonesalve The Savior of Mending
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Collecting the blood of the guilty.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: Asthma
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion | Armsplosion | Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Courtyard, Bistökmafol
Currently: KEY GET.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze | Mysteeeeeeerious Package | Ghost of Bloodbeard (Commanding) | Small Key
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing | Missing Leg x2 | Very Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar | Faint
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Moat, Bistökmafol
Currently: Healing his barrel.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x18 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact | Best Death EVAR
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Location: Courtyard, Bistökmafol
Currently: Looking like a dumbass.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Monkeytear the Fanciness of Wearing | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe | Heavy Bruising | Missing Tooth x2 | Black Eye
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard | Legendary Leatherworker
Name: Mutie
Description: A giant mass of biological matter with a cat head sticking out of it. It takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: None

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[Dermonster]

RW: Interrogate passerby. Tell MC Colbern to push the pedestal button.
FW: Rest a while.
Rats: Explore nooks and crannies and bring back something interesting.
Mutie: Assimilate dead thing.

[monk12]

Not to be picky about my fantasy character, but he doesn't have a left arm anymore. You got the lack of legs and right forearm, though, truly an artistic touch. Also, hell yes El Kabong.

Meta: Destroy Windows

Fantasy: Turn the chest into peg legs

I need to find grappling hook harpoon gun things for my legs- I'm sure that's a common loot drop in these parts.