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[Dermonster]

RW: Hurriedly disable the mech's anti Friendly Fire protocol.

Or their regular friendly fire protocol.

Whichever one makes them not shoot each other, disable that.

FW: Hurl more bilge water out of the boat.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Get un-dizzy, and get in the Gm and ride down the stairs, "un"-preferably into divide.

Fantasy: look foward

[_DivideByZero_]

Meta: "No pain no gain!"
Look for any other signs that lead to different parts of this mysterious void-shape.
Fantasy: Find an anvil to smash--er--something sharpen my blade on.

[Frelock]

Meta: Close the door to the command center and jam my scalpel in the controls to seal it off  (hey, it always seems to work in the movies...)

Fantasy: Hop up to the crow's nest with the spring boots and see what I can see.

[Gatleos]

Just need Mooooooooonk...

[monk12]

Meta: Seal the door using commonly available items! I'm SURE MacGuyver did that a time or two!

Fantasy: Point out the unnamed island between us and Helmath and ask Thelia whether she knows anything about it.

[Gatleos]

Dermonster's net helpfulness this turn: -9001.
You guys are gonna have !!Fun!!

**********~
Turn 27
**********~

META TURN:
Oh boy, battle-mechs!

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Space Pirates Battle

Actions

RW: Hurriedly disable the mech's anti Friendly Fire protocol.

Or their regular friendly fire protocol.

Whichever one makes them not shoot each other, disable that.

(...) You close your eyes and type with your feet, and still manage to somehow hack into the battle-mechs' programming from the control room. You deactivate every friendly-fire protocol you can find. Suddenly, you hear several robotic voices speaking in unison from out in the hall:
"FRIENDLY-FIRE PROTOCOL DISENGAGED=>NEW HOSTILES LOCATED NEARBY=>ACTIVATING SELF-DESTRUCT FRAGMENTATION DEVICE."
Uhhh...

Meta: Get un-dizzy, and get in the Gm and ride down the stairs, "un"-preferably into divide.

(...) Shaking your head and holding your nose, you mount the Gordon Mobile and ride down the stairs on it. There are two signs: "Main Deck Storage (Sector 3)" and "Executive Lounge (Sector 5)".

Meta: "No pain no gain!"
Look for any other signs that lead to different parts of this mysterious void-shape.

(...) You see no signs. You might be blind.

Meta: Close the door to the command center and jam my scalpel in the controls to seal it off  (hey, it always seems to work in the movies...)

(...) You stab the digital control panel and the door opens. You can't close it!

Meta: Seal the door using commonly available items! I'm SURE MacGuyver did that a time or two!

(...) There was that time MacGuyver wrapped electrical wires around a door handle to lock it, but this door has no handle! So you just... put a chair in front of it. Probably won't help much.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Starting a localized doomsday of shrapnel.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Bar | Mecha-spider (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Screwing everybody over even more.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Medical Scalpel
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Failing at MacGuyvering.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Frag Grenade x3 | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: Broken Finger | Broken Leg x2
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Bleeding and riding the GM.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Floor Buffer | Rubber Gloves
Wounds: Broken Nose
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Standing below the Vera Observation Center.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit
Wounds: None
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now

Locations
Main Deck, Sector 1
Main Deck, Sector 7
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The ship is slowing, you should get back to sailing and bilge duties.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath!

Current Soundtrack
Ocean Redux

Actions

FW: Hurl more bilge water out of the boat.

(...) Magical energy flows through your veins, the nearby ocean sways violently and it begins to rain as you release all of your magical power! Suddenly, all the water in the ship drains out and you hear a loud crunching noise from below as a section of the lower hull dries out and shatters! The ship is sinking!

Fantasy: look foward

(...) You look backward. Nothing too interesting back there besides the Navy ship- OH CRAP.

Fantasy: Find an anvil to smash--er--something sharpen my blade on.

(...) Using a metal band at the base of the mast, you sharpen your axe. Good as new!

Fantasy: Hop up to the crow's nest with the spring boots and see what I can see.

(...) You bounce up, miss the crow's nest, and slam back onto the deck.

Fantasy: Point out the unnamed island between us and Helmath and ask Thelia whether she knows anything about it.

(...) She doesn't take much notice of you. She's probably preoccupied with the SINKING BOAT.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Ending us all... oh, hey! What a coincidence.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Missing Tooth
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Twitching on the deck.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Sack o' Gold | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: None
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Navigating a sinking ship.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Armor
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Looking over-stern.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x20 | Sword
Wounds: Broken Ankle
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soap Maker
Description
Currently: Sharpening his axe.
Inventory: Pig Tail Fiber Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe
Wounds: None
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance

Locations
Hellfire Cove
Condition:
Rigging: Fine
Deck: Fine
Hull: Massive Hole

Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor

[HighEndNoob]

wow, a 1 was kind of helpful.
Meta: "John, get in this here sidecar! we're going to storage. Go to storage
Fantasy: Find a row/Life boat and board it.

[Gatleos]

wow, a 1 was kind of helpful.

"What's really gonna bake your noodle later is, would the ship have been there if you didn't roll a 1?"

[Dermonster]

BEST TURN EVER.

RW: Duck and cover!

FW: Increase the density of the water below us.  (Density is what makes things float)

[monk12]

...well, shit.

Meta: Climb into the hole in the ceiling.

Fantasy: Ask Thelia how deadly being trapped on the bottom of the ocean is for demons. If it is, get on the dwarf's raft. If it is surprisingly ineffective, get the demon out of the brig and onto the raft with us.

[_DivideByZero_]

Meta: Darn it. Find some glasses.
Fantasy: Find something to test my Axe on.

[Frelock]

Meta:Follow monk

Fantasy: Grab the mayor out from the brig and haul him to the surface of the ship.

[Gatleos]

You misfortune makes me smile.

**********~
Turn 28
**********~

META TURN:
TAKE COVER!!!

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Space Pirates Battle

Actions

Meta: "John, get in this here sidecar! we're going to storage. Go to storage

(...)
Kyle: "John, get in this here sidecar! We're going to storage."
John hops in the sidecar and you race sown the hallway! Suddenly, the GM starts accelerating out of control! You fly into the storage room, knock over all the shelves like dominoes, fly out of the storage room, and start speeding toward a crowd of... robots?

RW: Duck and cover!

(...)
Derek: "HOOOOWAAAHHHH"
You almost magically fly across the room and cling to one of the upper corners like you're Spider-Man or something.

Meta: Climb into the hole in the ceiling.

(...) You drag yourself across the room and somehow manage to leap up into the hole in the ceiling. You'll be safe in here, right...?

Meta: Darn it. Find some glasses.

(...) For some inexplicable reason you start looking for glasses as you speed down the corridor. You don't find nothin'.

Meta:Follow monk

(...) You leap up and grab onto the hole, but can't pull yourself up!

SELF-DESTRUCT IN 5... 4... NOW.

BOOM

• dermonster: (...) Pieces of jagged metal fly over your head, but the explosion doesn't even scratch you.
• Frelock: (...) You manage to scramble into the hole just in time! No injuries.
• monk12: (...) The explosion can't reach you up here.
• HighEndNoob: (...) As you ride toward the group of battle-mechs, they all suddenly explode! Holding up the GM as a shield, you deflect all the shrapnel and fly directly through the flames miraculously uninjured!
• _DivideByZero_: (...) The force of the explosion sends you flying off the GM and you're cut up by some flying shrapnel and slam into the wall!
• Gordon-Mobile: (...) Thousands of pieces of shrapnel impact the front of the Gordon-Mobile, but they're all deflected and the GM lives to buff another day!

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Currently: Hiding from the 'splodin' robots.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Bar | Mecha-spider (commanding)
Wounds: None
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Currently: Hiding in the hole in the ceiling.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Medical Scalpel
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Currently: Hiding in the hole in the ceiling.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Frag Grenade x3 | Plasma Rifle
Wounds: Broken Finger | Broken Leg x2
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Currently: Bleeding and riding the GM.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Floor Buffer | Rubber Gloves
Wounds: Broken Nose
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Currently: Standing below the Vera Observation Center.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit
Wounds: Light Bleeding
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now

Locations
Main Deck, Sector 1
Main Deck, Sector 7
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The ship is sinking, the rain is thickening, and the Navy is coming!

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath!

Current Soundtrack
The Great Sea Is Cursed

Actions

Fantasy: Find a row/Life boat and board it.

(...) There's a rowboat in the corner! You board it... you should probably lower it into the water first.

FW: Increase the density of the water below us.  (Density is what makes things float)

(...) The water under the boat suddenly thins and the whole ship plummets beneath the waves like a rock! The crew of the Navy ship just stares and scratches their heads.

Fantasy: Ask Thelia how deadly being trapped on the bottom of the ocean is for demons. If it is, get on the dwarf's raft. If it is surprisingly ineffective, get the demon out of the brig and onto the raft with us.

Edgar: BLUB-LUB-LUBBA-BLUH-BLUB?
Thelia: BLUB. BLUBBA-LUB-BLUB-LUBBA. BLUHBALUB-BLUB-BLUB.
Unsurprisingly, you can't understand her underwater. In an act of sublime stupidity courage, you swim down into the cabin of the ship and grab the mayor out of the brig! You then swim to the surface with him.

Fantasy: Find something to test my Axe on.

(...) You begin wildly swinging your axe underwater! You can't find anything.

Fantasy: Grab the mayor out from the brig and haul him to the surface of the ship.

(...) You help Monk bring the mayor to the surface and throw him onto the raft.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Currently: Screwing us all over.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Left Upper Canine Tooth | Keyring | George (commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Missing Tooth
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Currently: Scrambling onto the raft.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Sack o' Gold | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: None
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Currently: Holding onto the raft.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Armor
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Currently: Sitting in an underwater rowboat.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Star x1 | Throwing Dagger x20 | Sword
Wounds: Broken Ankle
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soap Maker
Description
Currently: Trying to kill fish.
Inventory: Pig Tail Fiber Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe
Wounds: None
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance

Locations
Hellfire Cove
Condition:
Rigging: Soaked
Deck: Submerged
Hull: Massive Hole

Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor

[Dermonster]

BETTER TURN EVER.

RW: GEt back down and acutally do something useful with the computers.

FW: SWIM TO THE SURFACE! Try to get to the navy boat or any life rafts.