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Author Topic: Awesome coincidence  (Read 3168 times)

shadowform

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Awesome coincidence
« on: December 10, 2010, 01:30:56 pm »

One of my big military dwarves in Starswords - my current fort - started with a skill in spears (although he likes maces), so I decided to make him a speardwarf.  He got something like 10 kills, three of them forgotten beasts, and then my weaponsmith enters a fey mood.  He creates an adamantine spear with an image of the foundation Starswords.  Awesome.  I give him the new spear, and get some decorations put on his old spear to distinguish it before handing it off to the other speardwarf in his unit.

Two of those decorations end up being images of the new artifact spear.

Months pass, and an ARMORER gets a mood.  He creates an adamantine breastplate.  With an image of a spear in clear diamond, among other things.  Naturally this goes straight onto the speardwarf.  He kills two MORE forgotten beasts.  The guy using his old spear charges headfirst into a siege, being the first one there, and takes out three trolls and four goblins without a scratch.

I'm tempted to write a ballad about this.  I want to hear other people's cool stories about heroics and coincidence.  POST WHAT YA GOT!
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Q: What do you get when you take 100 clear glass windows, 1000 silver bars, 6700 gold bars, and 18,000 marble blocks?

A: A very large wall.

"Alright, here's Helltooth... Harborfence... Urist, come get GenericBlade... and you. Welcome to the Danger Room. First timers get good ol' Ballswallowed. Have fun and try not to take off your own toe."

ElthMysterius

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2010, 02:04:11 pm »

The answer is clear. You must make this speardwarf into the most legendary, badass warlord in existance. If he isn't your military commander, make him so. Build him a massive complex, or his very own castle. Train up legendary engravers and masons and fill his rooms with masterwork art. Give him any and all furniture artifacts available. Give him as much layers of adamantine armour as possible. And if he does eventually die, make sure his tomb is the most spectacular and grandiose in the land.

All in all, make sure he's ecstatic 24/7 because he'll destroy the fort if he ever tantrums.
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"Strike the earth!"
"A section of the cavern has collapsed"
"Your fortress has crumbled to its end"
Yeah, in the future you probably shouldn't strike the earth quite so hard

Max White

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2010, 02:06:50 pm »

*Urist McEpicSpearDwarf looks down*
*Sees he's mug is only half full*

NOW YOU SHALL ALL KNOW MY WRAITH!!!

squeakyReaper

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2010, 02:11:16 pm »

That is a pretty cool dwarf, and dwarf lineage.  Make sure to give these two a few hours off duty in a closed off room with women of their fancy.  Gotta make sure the blood goes on, right?  Make sure to do this soon, because once they reach champion status they'll stop caring for any of your orders other than "kill".
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Man of Paper

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2010, 02:13:44 pm »

*Urist McEpicSpearDwarf looks down*
*Sees he's mug is only half full*

NOW YOU SHALL ALL KNOW MY WRAITH!!!

Oh shit! He has vengeful spirits too!?
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Max White

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2010, 02:23:41 pm »

He's so  awesome, hes dandruff is vengeful!

ElthMysterius

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2010, 02:28:10 pm »

What he didn't tell us is that the image of a spear on the breastplate is actually a real spear sticking out of his chest. Because one wasn't enough.

You should post his personality traits, and see how likely he is to go bonkers and run into people with his chest-spear.
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"Strike the earth!"
"A section of the cavern has collapsed"
"Your fortress has crumbled to its end"
Yeah, in the future you probably shouldn't strike the earth quite so hard

Karnewarrior

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2010, 02:48:59 pm »

The awesome-o-meter

>Colony dropping a ball of magma onto a dragon in midflight, then orbital shock troopers on motorcycles mop up
-
-
>Cacame Awesome-ade
-
>This thread
-
-
>This story
-
-
-
>Dwarf Fortress
-
>Chuck Norris

-Skip a few hundred slots-

>Raptor Jesus
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Aner-Dyfan

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2010, 02:56:11 pm »

Then it is clear we must mod Chuck Norris riding Raptor Jesus in Dwarf fortress while reading from an adamantine tablet with this thread written upon it!
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Xenos

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2010, 03:19:40 pm »

Then it is clear we must mod Chuck Norris riding Raptor Jesus in Dwarf fortress while reading from an adamantine tablet with this thread written upon it!
No, Cacame Awemadinade riding Raptor Jesus as Raptor Jesus craps this thread onto a Dragon.
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This is a useful feature..and this is DF.. so im gonna assume its bugged
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Aner-Dyfan

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2010, 04:00:48 pm »

No that would be just too awesome, and as we all know awesome is like weapons grade plutonium. Your computer would suddenly start giving birth to cats which would also reach critical mass causing unparrelled death and destruction radiating from every dwarf fortress players setup.
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Max White

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2010, 04:02:32 pm »

No that would be just too awesome, and as we all know awesome is like weapons grade plutonium. Your computer would suddenly start giving birth to cats which would also reach critical mass causing unparrelled death and destruction radiating from every dwarf fortress players setup.

MUST BE DONE!

Karnewarrior

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #12 on: December 10, 2010, 05:42:18 pm »

You guys are missing the point.

Orbital drop Jesus Shock Troopers on Raptor-shaped motorcycles.
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Max White

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #13 on: December 10, 2010, 05:56:05 pm »

Orbital dropping Phillosoratptor riding Chuck Norris, while playing Blur - song 2, holding the BFG in one hand, and in the other a story about epic spear dwarfs fighting Cacame, engraved on becon, as written by Threetoe.

slothen

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Re: Awesome coincidence
« Reply #14 on: December 10, 2010, 05:58:29 pm »

The awesome-o-meter
Chuck Norris

-Skip a few hundred slots-

>Raptor Jesus

Heresy
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While adding magma to anything will make it dwarfy, adding the word "magma" to your post does not necessarily make it funny.
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