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[ungulateman]

The incident where I spawned right next to an exposed magma pipe. A fire imp proceeded to burn everything, and all my food burnt up.

/abandon

[Urist Imiknorris]

Opened up cavern, forgot to wall it off, killed by jabberer.

[Bohandas]

I was playing a heavily modded game and must have mistyped something in the properties of one material or another because my wagon spontaneously combusted as soon as the game started...

[Gearheart]

Embarked on a site with 3 river starting points for the heck of it, started on top of ice, then melted about 5 frames after it unpaused and drowned everyone.

[rat_pack40]

Embarked on a site with 3 river starting points for the heck of it, started on top of ice, then melted about 5 frames after it unpaused and drowned everyone.

I think I beat you by 3 frames...

[Jetsquirrel]

i beat all of you
 it went exactly like this
"Strike the earth!"
"A section of the cavern has collapsed"
"Your fortress has crumbled to its end"

and all that within 1-2 seconds

EDIT: i actually didn't even have the chance to look at the terrain

[SRN]

I once had a fortress end so fast that I didn't even make it to the embark site.

 

[Jacob/Lee]

Embarked in an evil biome, entire embark team stampeded by skeletal mountain goats.

[Darkmere]

The stumpies decided the best place to park the wagon was about 25 yards away from a HYDRA. As I tried to dig out very quietly on the other side, Mr. Mittens runs up to hunt vermin right next to it. Next time I'm killing the cat before I start digging.

[gtmattz]

Embarked in a sinister swamp and within 10 seconds of unpausing 2 zombie alligators wiped me out.

[Leeko]

My first time embarking to a terrifying biome, I got annihilated by ogres within a couple of minutes.

[Bohandas]

i beat all of you
 it went exactly like this
"Strike the earth!"
"A section of the cavern has collapsed"
"Your fortress has crumbled to its end"

and all that within 1-2 seconds

EDIT: i actually didn't even have the chance to look at the terrain

Yeah, in the future you probably shouldn't strike the earth quite so hard

[Shurikane]

Strike the carp!

"What?"

*CHOMP*

Your settlement has crumbled to its end.

[koruth]

Embarked 2 tiles away from the river.
...The river that was full of hippos.

Goodbye, dorfs.

[TherosPherae]

I learned about caveins through an.. incident with a miner.

Fort after that, I embarked in the middle of random nowhere with 7 picks, 7 miners, and a desire to watch them all die via cavein. Took maybe 3 minutes at 15 FPS (that computer wasn't all that good.)