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[TheBiggerFish]

I'm so behind on all my homework and I can't keep up with my math instructor in class and the test is only in two days and I just lost access to the online mathlab because I only had temporary access because i never paid because i cant pay and AAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Math Help Thread, it's somewhere in here, and I can maybe try to help you too.

[BorkBorkGoesTheCode]

So, ahh, ummm, I've just been told by my mother that my brother's girlfriend* is likely going to give birth tomorrow.
Whoo boy, this is interesting, I don't really know how to act here, my mother certainly doesn't, she's panicking, and my cynical outlook isn't improving my worry.
Deary me.
*Might as well be wife, but neither of them feel marrige is worthwhile.

Unless she has a risk of birth complications and you live in an area with horrible healthcare, she should be fine. Just remember to keep the area sanitized.

[Eric Blank]

Alright, so now my laptop won't boot up. Windows fails to load, the only option I get is to restore to an earlier point. I just pray I don't lose everything, like all the recent updates to my df mods. I don't want to have to redo everything again.

Fuuuuuuuckkkk

[Solifuge]

Thankfully I mostly grew out of it, but as a teenager I had a fun time with getting smacked down by neurocardio syncope. In short, there's a nerve in your neck, the vasovagal nerve, that helps regulate blood flow to the brain. Sometimes, this nerve will flicker off like a bad lightbulb. Brain suddenly loses oxygen, unconsciousness, nerve reactivates (thankfully there appears to be no danger of that not happening).

I've "woken up" to a painful faceplant more than once. The really weird one was when I hit a lightswitch on the way down, so I woke up in darkness. I would have just assumed I'd fallen asleep if not for being on the floor.

Shit, dude... that happens to you completely at random?

I get syncopes of some sort too, but they have a predictable trigger; it seems to happen when I'm too hot and/or anxious (examples: taking an overly hot shower with someone I liked, running to catch the last bus to work in the high summer, spending too long in a hot tub or traditional Sauna and freaking out about heat stroke, etc.). Not sure if this is anything like yours, but I get a tiny bit of advanced warning from the symptoms; first my heart rate and blood pressure feel a bit funny (hard to explain), then my ears start ringing, then my skin and body feels cold and clammy despite the heat, then I start to feel nauseous, then everything seems too bright as purple circles close in at the edge of my vision, then I'm out for a few seconds. Time seems to slow down, but it all happens pretty quickly... maybe 20 seconds at most, depending. Usually I try to sit or lay down, or get somewhere cool, and that helps.

First time it happened was when I was almost late for Marching Band Practice on a hot summer afternoon. I had to sprint with a heavy instrument for a few minutes, and barely got to my position in time for role call. I was way overheated, scared I was going to be late the whole time, and as soon as I got there we launched into marching and scales. I couldn't catch my breath, felt those weird symptoms, and nearly faceplanted and ruined my saxophone, but my sax lesson teacher saw me standing there going limp, caught me on the way down, and carried me off the field before I got trampled by an oblivious drum section. I was pretty freaked out, but I think I scared him, the director, and my classmates shitless. One of the Band Moms was a medic and helped me get my breathing under control and all that... but yeah. That experience was pretty much burned into my memory.

When it happens these days, it's more annoying than scary, but I've gotten better at avoiding triggering them in the first place.

So, ahh, ummm, I've just been told by my mother that my brother's girlfriend* is likely going to give birth tomorrow.

Ah, babies. Hope this wasn't just dropped on the family a few days before! ><;

Best thing you can probably do is provide emotional support to your family as you all worry, hope everything goes well, and get ready for the aftermath. If you want to get them a nice gift, they will need approximately 12 bazillion diapers.

[scriver]

taking an overly hot shower with someone I liked

Hö hö hö... Puns.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Shit, dude... that happens to you completely at random?

Nope, not random. The trend that makes sense is looking at a bright light directly after getting up, the one that doesn't is standing against walls at a specific angle. I guess that latter one might have to do with turning my neck and restricting the bloodflow some, but it definitely should not have caused unconsciousness on its own.

I don't get them a lot, and I've never gone fully unconscious after exiting puberty, but to give an idea of the rarity they've never happened in the presence of another person. Which is convenient, since it would probably have caused a good deal of hysteria had my mother ever witnessed such a thing.

I get syncopes of some sort too, but they have a predictable trigger; it seems to happen when I'm too hot and/or anxious (examples: taking an overly hot shower with someone I liked, running to catch the last bus to work in the high summer, spending too long in a hot tub or traditional Sauna and freaking out about heat stroke, etc.).

Allegedly overheating is the most common cause.

Not sure if this is anything like yours, but I get a tiny bit of advanced warning from the symptoms; first my heart rate and blood pressure feel a bit funny (hard to explain), then my ears start ringing, then my skin and body feels cold and clammy despite the heat, then I start to feel nauseous, then everything seems too bright as purple circles close in at the edge of my vision, then I'm out for a few seconds. Time seems to slow down, but it all happens pretty quickly... maybe 20 seconds at most, depending. Usually I try to sit or lay down, or get somewhere cool, and that helps.

Mostly the same, no cold or nausea. I can also stop it if I stay mindful enough to look away from the light or push off the wall, but that's hard since delirium comes first.

[Solifuge]

Yeah. Sometimes I can dodge them by sitting or laying down (keeps blood going to my brain) or quickly cooling off when I notice the symptoms coming.

My favorite(?) episode was while running to the bus to work; as I was passing out in front of the crowd at the Bus Stop, and my head was starting to swim, I decided leaning nonchalantly against a lamppost and locking my legs was a good idea. Turns out it was actually a good idea; no one was any the wiser, and I looked Super Chill in front of the other folks on campus (...until I came back, of course, and started stumbling and sweating profusely and wheezing under my breath and shit :Y).

taking an overly hot shower with someone I liked

Hö hö hö... Puns.

Literally and figuratively, friendo. Literally and figuratively.

[TheDarkStar]

Similar symptoms occasionally occur in my family - sometimes one of my relatives will start to feel sick, maybe throw up, and then pass out.

[BorkBorkGoesTheCode]

So, ahh, ummm, I've just been told by my mother that my brother's girlfriend* is likely going to give birth tomorrow.
Whoo boy, this is interesting, I don't really know how to act here, my mother certainly doesn't, she's panicking, and my cynical outlook isn't improving my worry.
Deary me.
*Might as well be wife, but neither of them feel marrige is worthwhile.

Is she alright?

[LordPorkins]

So, I was playing Anchorhead.

You know, Anchorhead...?

Classic text adventure game...?

I have no friends Anyway! I was playing it, and it's very heavily inspired/directly in the world of the Master of Madness himself, HP Lovecraft. So naturally weird shits going down

So, my character climbed into a  well. So far, the games only had suggestive horror I.e. Whispered tales, drunks talking about things the locals won't talk about, M.C. HP's bread and butter, Yaknow?

Anyway, climbed into a well, and this is what the description read

In The Well
The sky is a dim circle of light far above you. The stone walls close in on you on all sides, and the air is clammy and frigid. The faint odor of decay drifts from the floor; the smell of a trapped animal decomposing under the back porch.

(So, at this time I'm thinking, cool, another dark and creepy place for me to poke around in. Then I read the next sentence)

"You are standing knee deep in a rattling jumble of childrens bones

And this is where the description ends. No explanation, no further horror cliches. Just that single, matter-of-fact statement. It scared the shit outta me. I mean, this games (and HPs) entire premise is subtle horror, fear that is palpable but not quite confirmed. So now, when they finally get to the real dirty business, in such an unexpected place, at such an early time, in such a factual way... Jesus. Additionally, the sentence that was the kicker was desperate from the main paragraph. You thought that it was going to be something besides description, like one of the random sounds or events that generally happen to make the game feel real. May not seem so bad here, but man did it sucker-punch me when I first read it.

[MrRoboto75]

"Inside the mailbox was nothing

Nothing after nothing came pouring out"

[hops]

Oh hey! I played Anchorhead too!

Also you're going to love the finale if you think that's squicky.

[DeKaFu]

This didn't exactly terrify me, but I still feel like it belongs here somehow.
(warning: massive number of animated gifs)

A computer was given photographs of babies and told to turn them into videos based on its own understanding of reality.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Seems like it's trying to emulate a heartbeat, or maybe an ultrasound.

[Eric Blank]

Aaand the first sentient AI will see us all as xantalos' hellspawn.