So I accidentally ventured into the fucked up side of the internet briefly, purely by accident. I didn't mean to but I am oddly disturbed by my complete and total lack of moral outrage or disgust for the things contained their in as I would have expected even though I am totally intellectually opposed to said internet grossness. I have noticed this for awhile through by complete non reaction by things that make mother people discussed like a description of gross things or the things themselves and a lack of lasting outrage really at all. not that I cant feel it, just thinking about what ISIS has done to historical artifacts makes me seethe with hate. I am disturbed by this and wonder if I have some condition or if I'm just logical the extreme. I guess I would make a good stoic, my emotions are rather fleeting. Anyone else feel this way or is something wrong with my brain as I suspect. I should note I am definitely not a psychopath, that's like the exact opposite of me. The internet probably desensitizes people to shit but I seem to be just like this and I definitely do not look at stuff enough or ever deliberately to have done that as i never seek gross shit out. I should probably not delve so deeply down the rabbit hole that is the depths of the internet becasue I know whats there but curiosity gets the better of me sometimes.
Random gore and shock will not inspire moral outrage any more than walking into an abattoir makes you morally outraged. Death is not something foreign to humanity, death, pain, killing and hunting has been with us forever. Couple that with how distance changes perception, how a tragedy on the other side of the world is not felt as keenly as the tragedy on your doorstep, there is little to fear in no reaction felt in witnessing what the internet carries.
There is really nothing special about what is seen via internet versus via the world, besides distance. Likewise do not feel so bad about having curiosity, of course you've heard horror stories of classic internet shock and new shock, of course the human mind is intrigued as to what could be so bad about information that others would caution against witnessing it. Then it is found, and it is entirely what the human mind is already prepared for.
Occasionally something found which the mind is unprepared for, which is why such material is 'shock,' as that is what it inspires. Or something seen reignites an old trauma, unironically triggering you.
In short, you are fine.
Honestly if you go down the rabbit hole the worst thing that's going to happen is you get arrested for looking at something illegal, and your opinion of the innate goodness of man evaporates. The morbid appeal of the forbidden information is overrated, especially since much of it is transmitted and indexed in the open. Hell, there's a whole trove of that crap on youtube and facebook, and they're some of the most publicly accessible shit around. Your brain is ok