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[Trekkin]

Quite the quintet you've got there, Carl. I don't believe in a physically relevant or miraculous God (and if there is a creator God/afterlife-controlling God he's a titanic jerk and i'd want nothing to do with him), games don't do anything for me, i'm not speaking to my friends anymore after they decided i was suicidal and called the campus police on me (at midnight no less), the food here typically induces...violent ejection from one's system via the most readily available pathway, and my family and I have LONG since stopped speaking with any regularity after they threatened to pull me out for fear of my mental health.

Apparently I'm self-motivating; what's left?

[Carl]

I'm realy sorry, its terrible what you are going through.
If you really feel that God is a titanic jerk then you should tell Him how you feel and ask Him
what you should do.
As for your friends, I assume they were concerned about you when they called the campus
police,so at least they are still your friends to some degree.Have you tried talking to them?
Food is always a blessing even when you are not hungry,try to enjoy your food,start with
your favorite.(mine is whole chicken,crispy with salt).
Psychlogically I think you need to try and shift your focus to somethi positive,try and find
something that makes you feel good (not narcotics or alcohol) like a new hobby
(oragami [spelling?]) and exercise does help as mentioned.
Ask yourself what do you like doing?
Family is your support and I recommend that you start the talking(once you feel better),
because its worth it.
Music,well listen to your favorite music.
   

[Medicine Man]

If you really feel that God is a titanic jerk then you should tell Him how you feel and ask Him
what you should do.

He'll never ring back, God has some pretty bad commitment issues.

[sonerohi]

I find Thor to be very responsive and helpful.

[fqllve]

Grakelin's advice was actually most useful here. I meditated/reassociated/messed with my head until the emotional part of my brain went dormant, and now I'm just doing work and waiting to die; nothing matters to me anymore. Constant wracking pain successfully replaced with numbness. As whiny as that sounds...it's peaceful. I can finally admit that everyone who ever told me I'd never amount to anything is/was perfectly right, and it doesn't bother me. Nothing's bothersome now; the world can keep being stupid and shortsighted and evil and wrong all it likes, people can die of eminently curable diseases all day long, I can keep doing things I'd ordinarily hate myself for doing (like being lazy) and none of it peeves me.

I think you should sit down and seriously ask yourself "What the fuck do I want?" God knows society tries to suck the enjoyment out of everything. No room for beauty right? Only work.

But work is beauty. The act of creation. The process of understanding. These are the things that bring joy. So where is your joy? Where is your excitement? What makes you feel "Well shit, life is worth living after all." There's something, each of us has something and we all know it. Sometimes we're just disappointed with the answer. Many reasons why. But if you have something that excites you then you'll produce something worthwhile out of it.

And maybe you shouldn't hate yourself for being lazy. There's a point where you have to tell yourself to get off your ass, sure. But it sounds like you're working your ass off. Maybe you deserve some time to lay in your bed staring at your shoe thinking nothing.

Essentially, you can't fix you because you aren't broken. And even if you were no one else can solve that problem. The answer is long periods of reflection, and if you're lucky discussion of the things that weigh on you with people who can respond sensibly. And if you don't have that, spend some time with the great students of the human condition. "I learned everything there is to know about life from The Brothers Karamazov." Over time maybe you can come to some answers that bring you satisfaction.

[SanDiego]

Two options here: Gin or bourbon.

Option Three: intense dislike of drug use, including alcohol, by me, however permissive of it I am in other people. Which is, I suppose, a good thing, otherwise I'd have OD'ed on the products of amateur pharmacology by now.

*Jumps entire thread to reply to this*
Get used to it. From time to time, it's good for mental hygiene to booze up a little. Plus your knowledge needs to be fixated and alcohol is perfect fixational medium.

[Carl]

I never mentioned counselors,you know shrinks.
They help a lot if you get the right kind.
Eventhough it sounds stupid and will be awkward at first you will find that just talking about your problems helps a lot.
I am assuming you have one at your collage that you can go to?

[Grakelin]

At my university, they are building another health services building because the first one is so tightly packed with people waiting for a psychiatrist.

[Renault]

I had to see a psychiatrist once. It was actually both really uncomfortable and really, really dumb. I think a lot of people assume psychiatry can do more than it realistically can--not to attack the profession, as I believe for many people its really quite necessary. Just the whole anyone-with-troubles-needs-a-shrink things gotten sort of popular, at least where I live, and I don't think even psychiatrists think thats true.

[dragonshardz]

I've had this happen to me, in the middle of high school, of all things. There was a period where I was burnt out like OP and then I just didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered to me. Sometime between then and now, I suppose I decided to enjoy life as it is. True, there's stress, but I also make time for simply enjoying myself.

OP, that really does sound like burnout. And as for the "I don't care" anymore, I think you'll soon find that nihilism and defeatism are boring. Expecting to fail and then not caring when you do is a pitiful existence.

fqlive is right.

And don't bother seeing a shrink. Unless you have a diagnosable mental condition such as bipolar or chronic depression, there's not much they can do. I know this because I have bipolar and I've been seeing a shrink for years.

[fqllve]

I never mentioned counselors,you know shrinks.
They help a lot if you get the right kind.
Eventhough it sounds stupid and will be awkward at first you will find that just talking about your problems helps a lot.
I am assuming you have one at your collage that you can go to?

This is the best advice.

I had to see a psychiatrist once. It was actually both really uncomfortable and really, really dumb. I think a lot of people assume psychiatry can do more than it realistically can--not to attack the profession, as I believe for many people its really quite necessary. Just the whole anyone-with-troubles-needs-a-shrink things gotten sort of popular, at least where I live, and I don't think even psychiatrists think thats true.

And don't bother seeing a shrink. Unless you have a diagnosable mental condition such as bipolar or chronic depression, there's not much they can do. I know this because I have bipolar and I've been seeing a shrink for years.

I think there's some confusion with counseling and psychiatry here. As I understand it psychiatrists are actual MDs and tend to approach problems like a doctor would. However, having someone who will actually listen to what you have to say as opposed to just using it as a convenient segue into their own problems can be seriously helpful.

(Edit: The word shrink is problematic. When I hear it I usually think analyst. But it apparently refers to all levels of clinical psychology.)

[Ø]

Burnout?

I took a vacation and dove headfirst under a rock as long and hard as I could until I was so sick of self indulgence that I wanted to do productive things again.

[Grakelin]

My mother is seeing a psychologist. If you're actually having such a stressful life that you can't handle it, there's no shame in going to see one. It's not like they're going to do you harm (and they won't be issuing medication unless you have a mental illness or they are shady).

[Psyco Jelly]

My nephew did about the same thing you did. He dropped out of college, got a job at Sonic, in a shared apartment in the ghetto, started smoking (tobacco among other things). He eventually got so tired of living near societies dregs that he stopped smoking cold turkey, moved in with us, put on about 20 pounds, and joined the Army. Went in as a Private First Class too. He's just started basic. He's got nuclear satellite clearance too. (No joke)

If you ever drop out of college, the military is your best bet (assuming you live in the US). Especially if you're smart, healthy, and dedicated.

[Vector]

Burnout?

I took a vacation and dove headfirst under a rock as long and hard as I could until I was so sick of self indulgence that I wanted to do productive things again.

This.  So very this.