FAILCANNON PRESS TODAYBREAKING NEWS: a caravan of humans came today! We're all excited and ready to trade and...
BREAKING NEWS! The kobolds laid siege to us! Three archer squads were seen approaching the fortress from the north!
In other related news, our human friends are no longer able to trade with us.
In other unrelated news, THE STFO IS COMPLETE!
There have been complains of it being "unsafe" but our friend ‼Scientist‼ Deathsword II has proposed himself as a voluntary to test the safety of the project! ALL HAIL DEATHSWORD!
Today is a happy day for our beloved fortress! A adventurer just came to our fortress and accepted to live here! And his desicion wasn't at all motivated by Dariush, Darvi, Gizogin and Mormota "welcoming" him!
Deathsword has also got up from her bed! And there was much rejoicing! And it wasn't at all because she wasn't issued a crutch and is currently crawling around the fortress looking for a drink! HAHAHA isn't it hilarious!? Actually I found her crawling around creepy. We've interviewed her:
ERICA, FOR EVERYTHING IT'S SACRED GIVE ME A CRUTCH! ******************** of a elf!
That's all what she had to say! Stay tuned to Failcannon today! And remember, that with our brand new adamantine emisor/receptor we can't telepathically speak to you at all!
It's only that this tower has.. a good acoustic!
(Ladies and gentlemans, I present you.. the Failcannon News Tower!)
We're working on a pic of the site there
Oh the fate! Dariush fell to the sea! Not he's an novice swimmer. A pissed novice swimmer. He says he spent several weeks alone in the sea because no one bothered to look down. Thank the gods he survived!
Still, It's scheduled that Deathsword will be performing his stunt soon!
(Out of character: the STFO seems to not be too much of a hassle for my processor, I did the test run, when dariush fell to the sea, and I was at 17 FPS; i lost about 5-7 FPS)