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[Urist Imiknorris]

Failcannon has finally, finally, died.
August 19, 2010 - November 6, 2011
1 year, 2 months, 18 days
Holy shit guys.

Spoiler: You see, I was busy designing the drain for the Ocean of Slime while an idea struck me... (click to show/hide)

Why the hell not clean it from whatever may be floating in and feed dwarves with the most poisonous substance out there cleansed by pure dwarven engineering? Genius. Use a perpetual motion machine to clean that water? Dwarven outright. Thusly, a set of ramps, a reservoir, few sets of gears were built, and it was good. Except one part. The cleaning station was 3 z-levels below the fortification - which served as a secure entry point for the water. I leave the part of imagining the immense water pressure washing away dwarves and crushing them against walls to you, but thankfully, I selected a z-level already turned into a huge miner playground for my base of operations. While water flooded relatively irrevelant places, I just made a well, created a drainage device, and waited. Two months later, the area was remotely safe, so I made a device to drain the water some more (see: water atomsmasher, level ~-76) and proceeded to build my quarters and make a device to bring power to the water wheel to kickstart all that hoping it won't overflood with a screw pump already in space with it's impassable tiles and all that jazz. But then I breached the area where the FBs laid waiting. Well shit, one miner dead, calling down whatever military I had at hand. Some time after that I decided to screw that, retreat whatever forces were left - we were winning the battle admittedly, 7 dwarves for more than 10 FBs, but the syndrome of majestic fuckall was on the ground waiting. Calling in a miner squad to breach the magma sea, another squad to engineer an obsidian wall creation plan, and the military to a relatively safe place, z-level 88 was thorougly flooded with necrowater, magma, and a touch of obsidian in between. And that's the tale of the Flooding of 529, gentledwarves. 21 dwarves dead total, three permamently damaged, and a spoiled fucker who profited from it all - LordSlowpoke, the Magnfiicent Bastard.

But yes, it's down to this

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

On the plus side, the loyalty cascade is no longer a prime concern.

Did we just made reality itself commit suicide?

Before I begin the introduction, I must first recount to you the tale of Battlefailed. Seventeen years ago, Her Humanity Led Shakeoars, queen of The Sword of Boots, grew tired of the company of dwarves, and sent seven of our kind to establish a dwarven colony in the Plains of Ooze where it bordered the terrible Blueness of Malodors. This fortress, named "Battlefailed," saw much life in the next sixteen years... but far more death. Last year the dwarven caravan arrived and was ambushed by kobolds before even reaching the gates. This was taken as a sign that the fortress had either fallen or been abandoned, as no living fortress would tolerate the existence of such petty scum. A followup expedition later confirmed the deaths of everyone in the fortress. Thus was the fortress of Battlefailed considered lost. If the rumors are to be believed, their fate was far worse than mere goblins or wildlife.

Our Goal

We have been sent by Her Bitchiness the Queen to succeed where Battlefailed, well, failed. We are to build a fortress near the ruins, to remind the world that we dwarves do not surrender, and that we will persevere. There was also something about getting out of the Queen's sight and dying in the wilderness, but that's normal for her...

The Site:

I have found a suitable site for our new city, about a day's travel north of the ruins. Its location is marked on the enclosed map.



I invite you to join the fortress of Ungègugath, "FailCannon" in the common tongue, and help remake history.

Pre-Failday Save (about three seconds before the apocalypse)

Aluonra's final save.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Turn List:

1. Urist Imiknorris 1 2 3
2. Mekboy 1 2 3 4 5
3. Lupusater 1 2 3
4. Lucus Casius 1 2 3 Gave up partway through.
5. Cappstv1 2 3 4 5 6 Failcannon has been struck down or not; cappstv rewinds time, fixes bad future 5 6
6. Glacial 1 2 3
7. Oglokoog 1 2 3
8. LordSlowpoke 1 2 3 4
9. Nat 1
10. SethCreiyd 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Bad Future Rewind 1
11. Robocorn 1 2 3 4 5
12. DuckThatQuacks 1 2 3 4 5
13. Dariush 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 The revenge of the aquifer has begun
14. Urist Imiknorris 1 2 3 4 5 Screwed around, flooded stuff, unflooded stuff.
15. LordSlowpoke 1 2 3 4 5 6
16. Takuanuva 1 2 3 4 5
17. Andreus 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
18. SethCreiyd 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
19. CatalystParadox 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Fortress implodes in a loyalty cascade; still not dead
20. Darvi 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
21. Dariush Played for 4 1/2 months or so. No updates per se, just start reading here.
22. arcangelsd Bunch of small updates for the most part, start reading here. Final update here after hiatus.
23. Eric Blank 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Catalyst the Insane, dwarven revolter, dies.
24. Deathsword 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Lever pulled.
25. Johuotar
26. Mormota
27. Strategia
28. Sinpwn
29. gamewizardinnc
30. The Master
31. Dariush
32. Darvi
33. Ieb
34. Mego
35. Gizogin

SPECIAL: SethCreiyd tells of the goings on of the gods 1 2 3 4 5 6

BATTLEFAILED 3: HELLCANNON

[Urist Imiknorris]

To be dorfed:
Mipe - soldier, custom profession "Dancing Dagger"
Mountain-King - soap maker
nonobots
frozen
LAAT- Mechanic
Gor (♂), Moxie (♀) - glassworker
Vee - soldier, cleaning job only
MacDuggan - engraver
ArcaneSaint - boring job
MadJax - soldier
Elt - soldier
Gilgameshclone - child
Zathel
Thatdude - soldier/worker
Sprout - pref. medical dwarf
Draconik - Insane Architect (Mason/Carpenter/Architect/Alchemist)
Twobeard - miner/brewer (or smith/brewer)
Xenos - farmer or glassmaker
Gronchbag - soldier (preferably axedwarf)
Xellas - mechanic or doctor
ArcaneSaint - low-risk, preferably doctor
The Real Mekboy (Mekboy)
Pyromaniac (Flagrarus)
LucusCasius - profession: Third Hand
FelcisTheMaddwarf - ranger/leatherworker
Cappstv II - ♂
TerrisH - something safe
Grath - Wrestler, profession "Arrow catcher"
Lupusater - metalsmith
Cheese
hellbored
Tupu - soldier
Grov - alchemist
EmeraldWind
Dariush II - awesome soldier
Poet
Neotemplar - something that involves death by hostile creatures
Megaman3321 - Soldier, profession: PAINBRINGER
Frosty_Dorf - Mason, engineer, and/or metalsmith, profession: Engineer
Takua - engraver (The Chronicler)
Scaraban - Soldier (preferably with an adamantine pick)
Dete - smith or soldier
Greader - any, preferably mason
Zeocin
Filthywalrus - fattest available dwarf
Urist McLost - preferably mechanic
Elth - preferably male cheesemaker
Eric Blank
ignatzami - Iggy, male, peasant
Deathsword - swordsdwarf/butcher
Tale - someone useless or absurd
Ledi III- crazy cat lady (must like cats)
Strategia - cheesemaker, and let his death be violent.
Elderont - blacksmith
Correctedsun
Sinpwn - profession: Wolpertingerer
Norngremlin - swordsdwarf/weaponsmith
ThatAussieDwarf
Michael_Almeida - male axedwarf/woodcutter, profession boozedorf
BrilTheGnome - either an engineer, profession "Steampunk" or swordsdwarf, profession "Mr. Soul Reaper"
Karakzon
Kaamanen - military dwarf, preferably male and with few friends
Mormota - soldier
Seraphin - male speardwarf, profession "Homicidal Poker"
Savi
Gizogin - builder of some sort, profession "Dark Wizard"
rridgway - profession "Livery Deliverer"
Mego - male, profession "Mad Scientist"

(everyone on turn list without a dwarf)

Latest incarnation of Andreus*: Andreus XI, Ageless Wizard

*Every time Andreus is redorfed, post his new title so we can keep track of him.

[Lucus Casius]

To FailCannon! May it outshine Battlefailed one thousand times over!

[LordSlowpoke]

Will it survive until turn 13? If not, sign me in, if yes, sign me in. The bigger question is, will it survive until turn 14? Heh.

[Nat]

I've never played a succession game before, but I'd love to join in.

[Pisano]

Add me to the list as well please.

[Mekboy]

Awesome, I'm relatively early.

That means that:
a. It shouldn't be too messed up (haha, battlefailed not messed up)
b. No FPS death!

[NightmareBros]

placeholding dorfing request

[Lupusater]

I'm in! But next week I won't be able to play, so could my turn be moved down a couple slots? Turn 6 would be ideal.

[Andreus]

I want turn 15, and a dorf, "Andreus V"

[Urist Imiknorris]

Okay. You meant 16, right?

For everyone:

Skills?

EDIT: Everybody with a ? next to their name has been sent a confirmation message.

[Andreus]

Give me Proficient Weaponsmithing, if it's suitable.

[Glacial]

Glacial, proficient armorer/proficient stonecrafter, please!

[Mekboy]

Spanner, 4 points in hammerdorf, 3 in shield user and armour user.