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Author Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2)  (Read 940104 times)

Oglokoog

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #690 on: March 04, 2011, 03:08:00 pm »

Ocean waves going through walls is their normal behavior. You'll get used to it.
Nice to see you're using the original tileset, too. One doesn't see a lot of that these days.
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So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

Magentawolf

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #691 on: March 04, 2011, 03:38:21 pm »

Are you sure? The current life expectancy of any given dwarf is about... uh... well, just think: there are thirty insane midgets stuck in a fucking tomb with skeletal horses above them and four forgotten beasts steadily carving their way up to them from below. Now add the fact that they prefer dragging the socks off their friends' backs to stockpiles instead of building walls or taking up weapons. Fruitflies ain't got shit on our dorfs.

Pft, I'm allowed to be optimistic! .... So, I might be part of the reclaiming squad, so be it. :)
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DorvenEngineering

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #692 on: March 04, 2011, 04:04:11 pm »

So... Four Forgotten Beasts? Sounds like a right massacre - Is Koshmot okay?  :o

And thanks for the advice, Urist. I'll keep that in mind.  :)
« Last Edit: March 04, 2011, 04:05:48 pm by DorvenEngineering »
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Why I think goblins are the superior species? In Goblin (language_GOBLIN), "Armok" literally means "skirt-whore", as in "ar" = "skirt" and "mok" = "whore". So while the other languages fail to deliver even as much as a direct translation, to the green-skinned people of the towers, the almighty God of Blood himself is but a little bi*ch. For this, one might induce, they pay with many a hapless siege, yet still, they don't give up and change insults or anything like that. Go, goblins!

DuckThatQuacks

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #693 on: March 04, 2011, 04:25:38 pm »

BTW, why is there a fortification looking out of the map and ballista facing a wall deep underground?...

Well, I had intended to use it to shoot at forgotten beasts. I was going to carefully let them in and take them down in a controlled fashion...

« Last Edit: March 04, 2011, 04:56:01 pm by DuckThatQuacks »
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Zeocin

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #694 on: March 04, 2011, 08:32:07 pm »


Holy shit.
...
There are two beasts crammed into this tile and one more in mirrored tile to the left. They seem unable to move. Holy shit.

***

Everything is going to hell. The combined forces of all our soldiers are unable to contain the onslaught of Espir the Skink, Edir the Shrew, Zolak the Slug and Edu the Stegosaurid. (wait... there are four of them now?...)

Breeding forgotten beasts? BRILLIANT! This should totally give our lazy, sock obsessed denizens the exercise they obviously need.
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Dariush

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #695 on: March 05, 2011, 06:32:50 am »

OOC: yep, Koshnot is fine.
Magentawolf, do you want any particular name, sex or profession?
Journal of Dariush The Third, Late Winter of 526.
There are only twenty-eight of us now.

I'm sitting in a corner in my rotting clothes, clutching my trusty pick in my hands.


There are screams coming from above and from below. They are interspaced by clack-clacks and eerie neighing of monstrosities above, the ululating blood-curling cries of monstrosities below and joyful shouts of the sock-wielding monstrosities in corridors. I don't even know whom of them I fear more. Chanting the holy mantra of wee-pee-el, I resist the urge to join my fellows in their mindless orgy of sock delivery.


***

Using the third sight gained after the recent cave-in when I started writing this journal, I tracked the headmost beast just as it was nearing the drawbridge I ordered built a month ago. The bad part? Those plans remained just that - plans. I've personally seen countless dwarves sauntering over the mark on the floor without as much as noticing it. Now the mark is smudged by the trail of Zolak's horryfing body.


***

I've consolidated the remains of our military into a single squad of whopping three ass-biters and went to dig out the new barracks - at least hidden by stone masses I will be invisible to passing beasts.

***

My guess was correct - Zolak went up the stairs without stopping to rip off my head. However, Andreux IX, who was battling it at the time wasn't nearly so lucky:


***

All right, this is it. I'm taking my pick to the fucker's head.

Something tells me this idea is already doomed.

***


I can't believe I lost my pick on the way here. Hasty retreat is underway...

***

Oh god. While I was looking for my pick another forgotten beast ambushed me on the surface. The results weren't pretty.


Is that my body lying over there? Looks like it...
« Last Edit: March 05, 2011, 07:19:29 am by Dariush »
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #696 on: March 05, 2011, 07:25:49 am »

Alright... after reading all of that, I'm feeling vaguely inspired.

Requesting a dwarfing, and sign me up for a turn. :)
Are you sure? The current life expectancy of any given dwarf is about... uh... well, just think: there are thirty insane midgets stuck in a fucking tomb with skeletal horses above them and four forgotten beasts steadily carving their way up to them from below. Now add the fact that they prefer dragging the socks off their friends' backs to stockpiles instead of building walls or taking up weapons. Fruitflies ain't got shit on our dorfs.
FAILcannon seems to have been a good choice. Not to insult you personally, but...geez, that's a lot of problems.
If you survive to the next migrant wave, I'd like a dwarf. Ideally a mechanic, but as long as he's OK and not previously claimed, I'm fine. Name: Urist McLost.
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Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

Dariush

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #697 on: March 05, 2011, 08:48:43 am »

Summary: there are ten dwarves remaining with a bit more FBs than that raging through the fortress. I guess the current state of affairs can be safely described as 'we are miraculously fucked'. I'll redownload the initial save and try to patch up all holes through which the beasts could have gotten in. If anyone wants to experience the Failed Failcannon first-person, here's the link.

Journal of Rovod Bermesir, Early Winter of 526.

Cough.

Cough.

I'm still alive.

I stared at the ceiling of the low chamber, funny circles swimming before my eyes, dust from the most recent cave-in still settling around.

The horrible image of stegosaur standing over my headless body still lingered before my eyes.

I tried wiggling my fingers and succeeded. I guess this wouldn't have happened if my head was lying several feet from my body. So, I'm alive.

I picked my sorry shape up, dusted myself off and went off to govern this hellhole. I've got a long day ahead.

***

Still vividly remembering my previous life, the first thing I did was assigning training duties to squads and ordering four forges to produce bronze axes non-stop.

(OOC: how do you guys get squads to consist of two different types?...)

Glacial

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #698 on: March 05, 2011, 10:21:40 am »

(OOC: how do you guys get squads to consist of two different types?...)

Create one uniform with the armor and socks you want. Create the squad with that uniform. Assign a specific weapon to each position in the squad. Prosper.
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Dariush

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #699 on: March 06, 2011, 05:02:37 am »

So, all my winter notes disappeared in a puff of logic. :( Well, fuck them.
Migrants arrived, but no mechanics. Sorry.
Journal of Dariush The Third, Early Winter Spring of 5267.
I should drink less. However incredibly awesome dwarven booze is, it is nothing compared to awesomeness of three-month consiousness. According to my assistants, nothing of note happened except a pink rhino forgotten beast rampaging through fortress, ripping off toes and fingers, so I think I didn't miss much.

The first order of the new year would be construction of new bedrooms for everyone. Fractal bedrooms.

Plagiarism is awesome.

Next, I'm making a huge 'WELCOME' sign at our gates, made out of pure gold:


***

Our mayor doesn't have any bedroom, never mind office, tomb, etc.? Seriously?

***

Everyone who praises the magnificense of ancient monuments omits one important thing - how boring it is to oversee their construction. Especially if your builders are insane midgets who are more interested in dragging thaaat sock over theeeere rather than building...

***

By the way, did I mention that I'm constructing a pumpstack to pour magma over all those fuckers who killed me in my previous incarnation? Yeah, I totally am.

***

Also, my Door Monument is progressing nicely. Here's it's first level:

Glory to me, Dariush the Builder!

***

Damn, I only now noticed that I'm building those pumps out of bronze, and bronze isn't kosher for Armok. *sigh* At least I didn't get far into construction so it isn't too late to start over...

***

The treehuggers have arrived. At last some real training for our military...

Mwahahaha!

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

***

One of our metalcrafters decided to make some artifact and he needs yarn cloth for it. Not silk cloth or plant, of which we have hunderds of tons, but yarn! This is so unfair... Oh, and we have no way to get it. Good bye, poor Muthkat Plainspaints!

***

Today my daily report contained something... strange.

I reread the message several times, but it's contains didn't change. I guess this place is even more screwed up than I imagined.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2011, 10:48:36 am by Dariush »
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DuckThatQuacks

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #700 on: March 06, 2011, 10:52:15 am »

It looks like Little McArthur is now a "Child Tyrant"!

On an unrelated note, have you managed to put down Glacial's ghost?
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Dariush

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #701 on: March 06, 2011, 11:08:14 am »

The last time I've seen him was around the start of the spring, so I guess he put himself to rest :)

By the way, can flying FBs destroy bridges/hatches/grates/bars from below?

Also, how can I see where a particular dwarf's corpse is located?
« Last Edit: March 06, 2011, 11:12:08 am by Dariush »
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Dariush

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #702 on: March 06, 2011, 11:33:20 am »

Journal of Dariush The Third, Late Summer of 527.
Holy shit.

After almost half a year those fuckers finally got around to making the pumps. In honor of this, the yarn-demanding mooder went insane. Berserk, specifically. Legionairre of Terror, specifically. I would have posted an awesome screenshot, but other than two bolt strikes there's nothing interesting happening because of it...  ::)

***

Great. An ambush was all we ever lacked.
I'm recalling all civilians and let the cage traps handle it.

***

Second ambush showed up almost immediatly. They took some mook's life and brutally beat Xenos:

Xenos withstood an assault of an axegoblin and several bowgoblins. However, then I saw Urist McArthur walk out of the gates against all orders, bash the axegoblin's head in and then chase away the archers. Holy shit.

***

Two more ambushes. This becomes more awesome with every... wait, I already said this... didn't I?... It's all blurred...
Also, why the hell don't alert levels override shedules?!

***

Hooray, the first level of my Door Monument is finished!

A recent cave-in spoiled the look of the leftmost doors and the refuse laying around isn't pretty either, but this is 81 schist doors, and this is 1/9th of my future monument! Triple hooray for my awesomeness!

***

The sign at the gates is finished. It doesn't look like much in 2D, but once there are any visualisers working with 31.19, it'll look awesome. Also, I'm constructing a trade entrance. This is going to be indescribably awesome.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2011, 12:44:45 pm by Dariush »
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DuckThatQuacks

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #703 on: March 06, 2011, 11:34:04 am »

The last time I've seen him was around the start of the spring, so I guess he put himself to rest :)

Perhaps he decided that burial at sea was acceptable.

By the way, can flying FBs destroy bridges/hatches/grates/bars from below?

I don't think so. But just in case, maybe it's best not to rely on a feeble hatch to stop the dread creatures...

Also, how can I see where a particular dwarf's corpse is located?

Go to the stockpiles screen, find the corpses entry (very close to the bottom), and find the corpse you want to locate. Use 'z' to zoom to its location.
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Dariush

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #704 on: March 06, 2011, 11:39:34 am »

I can't find ArcaneSaint's (the new ghost) corpse in this way, so I'll graciously let the next overseer bother with it :)
Journal of Dariush The Third, Mid-Autumn of 527.
Second level finished - much cleaner than the first:

We've got another mooder, this time I don't even know what he lacks - he requests a whole bunch of things, so I abandoned him, since what we don't already have I probably won't be able to get in time.

***


*sniff* The reaper takes his toll despite all heroic efforts of our warriors...

***

An ettin came, nearly killed a marksdwarf, but at last moment Urist McArthur arrived to save the day... Sounds familiar?
« Last Edit: March 06, 2011, 02:49:39 pm by Dariush »
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