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[Dariush]

Journal of Rovod Bermesir, Early Winter of 526.

Cough.

Cough.

I'm still alive.

I stared at the ceiling of the low chamber, funny circles swimming before my eyes, dust from the most recent cave-in still settling around.

A voice in my head boomed:

From this day I shall be known as Dariush the Third, the ruler of this fortress.

The thought wasn't mine.

Now, what this place needs is a serious revamping. I looked into the most vital part of such an insanity-inducing fortress - it's military - first. On one hand, it's carefully built colossus, with alerts, different squad types, etc. carefully balanced. On the other, the best part of all four squads is comprised of DEAD MEN. So, I deleted and recreated all squads. Tomorrow I'll begin the construction of an awesome monument commemorating my awesome exploits, and also download the awesome 31.19 and begin awesome.

[DuckThatQuacks]

What do you mean, comprised of dead men? If anything, they ought to be comprised of dead dwarves.

[Scaraban]

What do you mean, comprised of dead men? If anything, they ought to be comprised of dead dwarves.

EGADS HE'S RIGHT!!!

Journal of Rovod Bermesir, Early Winter of 526.
On the other, the best part of all four squads is comprised of DEAD MEN.

quote preserved to guard against retroactive editing

[Darvi]

ARE YOU A MAN OR ARE YOU A DORF?!

[DorvenEngineering]

I just finished reading through Battlefailed and this one and feel the need to be part of this madness. Verily, 'tis awesome.

I would like to get dorfed - preferably as a mechanic/bookkeeper/mechanic+bookkeeper, male-dom not necessary, but favored, name "Koshmot" - and express interest in taking a turn as soon as possible.

Edit: What about versions? This has been 31.18 so far, right?

Other edit: This would be my first succession game ever. If I do get a turn before it all goes down in a glorious inferno (Other other edit: again), how do I handle the save (and saves in general, for that matter)? Can I just put it into (DF)/data/save and start playing or is there anything else I should know?

[Groveller]

Can I just put it into (DF)/data/save and start playing or is there anything else I should know?

That should do it, I think.

There's also a thread where some crazy person managed to reclaim the original Battlefailed. I recommend it, too.

[Takuanuva]

Tomorrow I'll begin the construction of an awesome monument commemorating my awesome exploits, and also download the awesome 31.19 and begin awesome.

Awesome.

[Dariush]

All right, 31.19 downloaded and haven't crashed in last two minutes. I've decided on a monument - it will be a 9x9x9 cube made out of doors, with the outer 'layer' being made out of something shitty like schist, with material becoming more valuable moving inward.
BTW, why is there a fortification looking out of the map and ballista facing a wall deep underground?...

[Dariush]

OOC:Koshmot the Bookkeeper has begun his service for Armok's glory.
Journal of Dariush The Third, Early Winter of 526.
Today, on third day of my awesome reign I'll being the first two projects of awesome - first, a shaft of totally awesome size that leads straight into magma sea from our fort, and second, a DOOR MONUMENT. Yep.

But for the first project, I need to dig some earth and being the only miner in the fortress and thus not being able to be bothered, I started expanding our mining squadron by careful process of cross-examination, reviewing of resumes and test runs.

"Hey! You there! What are you doing?"

"I'm just a simple potash maker, m'lord."

"Fuck that. You'll be a miner."

See? Totally awesome.

***

Today among the ordinary useless news I received a note about some dissector's death. Apparently, skeletal horses are running rampant right on our roof. I guess they'll need to be put down... And it's as good time as any to learn to use the military.

***

Holy shit. I repeat, holy shit. I claim this and I will stand by those words even if I'm set on fire. The accessway to the barracks has stairs leading down to earth... but not quite reaching it. However, that's not a cause for concern. The fact that there are patches of floor fucking levitating near is.

Directly underneath:

See any way for those patches to be supported? I don't.

***

Today I went to oversee the construction of the Door Monument. Apparently, this place has seen so much bloodshed that the air itself is covered in blood.


***

This place is so awesome. Today I got news that some poor recruit died under our forges. When I went there to investigate, I saw a giant forgotten beast wrestling with another recruit who in a fit of awesomeness neglected even to wear any armor. *sigh*

***

Holy shit, I've just seen an ocean wave rolling through a wall.

This place becomes more awesome with every passing awesome moment of awesomeness!

***

Holy shit, the horses kicked three recruits to death while I've been waiting for someone to come down there to the beast and wall it off. Apparently our workers have more pressing concerns than terrifying ageless beasts one corridor away from rampaging through the fortress, vanquishing all that breathes. Like moving that sock. Ah.

*sound of trumpets*

Thus ends the fifth battle first month of my totally awesome reign. *sigh*

[Urist Imiknorris]

I just finished reading through Battlefailed and this one and feel the need to be part of this madness. Verily, 'tis awesome.

I would like to get dorfed - preferably as a mechanic/bookkeeper/mechanic+bookkeeper, male-dom not necessary, but favored, name "Koshmot" - and express interest in taking a turn as soon as possible.

I'll update the OP when my home internet connection comes back on Sunday.

Edit: What about versions? This has been 31.18 so far, right?

Dariush just moved it to .19.

Other edit: This would be my first succession game ever. If I do get a turn before it all goes down in a glorious inferno (Other other edit: again), how do I handle the save (and saves in general, for that matter)? Can I just put it into (DF)/data/save and start playing or is there anything else I should know?

Downloading saves: Uncompress them into /data/save, make sure the region folder isn't hiding inside an identical folder (ie /data/save/region1/region1 = bad, move the inner region1 into /data/save)

Uploading saves: Make a zip file of the region folder, upload to http://dffd.wimbli.com/.

[Dariush]

Journal of Dariush The Third, Mid-Winter of 526.
The insanity continues!
Today our hunter who for some reason lives near forges along with his/her spouse went to bed. Or tried to. He went down the corridor that contains the shortest path to his bedroom, bumped into forgotten beast, turned his back and took the other way. Seriously.


***

More and more people fall prey to the hooved reapers. Out of 20 people in our military, only 12 11 9 7 remain. I've ordered all outside activities stopped, but people don't listen... Well, fuck them.

***

Holy shit.

There are two beasts crammed into this tile and one more in mirrored tile to the left. They seem unable to move. Holy shit.

***

Okay, since the outside world is off-limits now, I'm going to move the barracks inside. Prepare for awesomeness.

***

Holy shit, all three beasts got out. I ordered the wall built to contain them, but the idiot builder tried to wall himself in. When I canceled the construction, he ran away and beasts got out into the fortress. This is awesome.

***

Everything is going to hell. The combined forces of all our soldiers are unable to contain the onslaught of Espir the Skink, Edir the Shrew, Zolak the Slug and Edu the Stegosaurid. (wait... there are four of them now?...) Our forge level is one large spot of miasma, blood and corpses. I need to do something and I don't know what I can...

[Scaraban]

All right, 31.19 downloaded and haven't crashed in last two minutes. I've decided on a monument - it will be a 9x9x9 cube made out of doors, with the outer 'layer' being made out of something shitty like schist, with material becoming more valuable moving inward.
BTW, why is there a fortification looking out of the map and ballista facing a wall deep underground?...

map border fortifications are useful for drainage
ballista? couldn't tell ya!

[Magentawolf]

Alright... after reading all of that, I'm feeling vaguely inspired.

Requesting a dwarfing, and sign me up for a turn.

[Deviled]

This place becomes more awesome with every passing awesome moment of awesomeness!

Sigginig this.

[Dariush]

Alright... after reading all of that, I'm feeling vaguely inspired.

Requesting a dwarfing, and sign me up for a turn.

Are you sure? The current life expectancy of any given dwarf is about... uh... well, just think: there are thirty insane midgets stuck in a fucking tomb with skeletal horses above them and four forgotten beasts steadily carving their way up to them from below. Now add the fact that they prefer dragging the socks off their friends' backs to stockpiles instead of building walls or taking up weapons. Fruitflies ain't got shit on our dorfs.