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[Urist Imiknorris]

Huh. Apparently the old desktop getting fried was my father's cue to get a laptop. His Facebook addiction pays off for once!

Updated OP.

[Robocorn]

Oh, man I have so many people to dwarf now that I look at this thing. I made an Andreus IX with the profession Demilich out of a fisher dwarf if you want to update that.

[Oglokoog]

Robocorn: His hardwiring blows and his compute knows H.

[Robocorn]

Felsite 15th, 525

Goblins came today and I was filled with enthusiasm for their slaughter. The mayor was less than enthusiastic about dispatching my squadron and instead opted to lock all of the doors and pretend nobody was home. This is quite possibly the least dwarven thing that has ever been suggested to me by a member of my own kind but I let it slide considering the shaken nature of the mayor. Stone doors perplex the greenskins yet they are somehow capable of cast moulding those gargantuan obsidian monoliths that we dwelt in in Graspedseduce. Their inability or reluctance to use their warhammers on our doors is surely to our advantage. There was a lone casualty. The goblin snipers caught sight of the madman Robocorn dancing naked atop the cheese complex and pegged hm in the throat. The administration's inability to prepare proper graves will most likely result in an Ignominous open burial somewhere.

To say this book is the last remnants of his sorry existence would be accurate. Perhaps it's best he died not knowing what a madman everyone thought he was.

Felsite 19th, 525

I guess we weren't the real targets of the goblin's wrath after all.

I've mostly been indifferent to elves, I've never had much contact with their kind. From what I've heard in stories, they're an obnoxious bunch of tree worshipping cannibals that attempt to use their numbers to threaten forts. It matters not what their intentions were coming to Failcannon, but they show great prowess in absorbing crossbow bolts.

Felsite 21, 525

I can't say I appreciate their intentions but I can't help but admire the spirit of goblin commerce.


Hematite 2nd, 525

Summer has come and the reeking sea seems to exude its fragrance with even greater gusto in the balmy summer air. Though lately strange things have been happening around the cheese complex. Parts of the complex have been chilling on their own. Tools have been misplaced at a faster rate than usual and mason workers have complained about a whining noise that permeates the structure. I'll investigate the matter further.

Hematite 10th, 525

I've investigated the strange occurrence and found one thing for sure at its source

Ghosts. I didn't believe in ghosts before I came to Failcannon, but this DuckThatQuacks seems to be a legitimate spectre. The phantom seemed to lament that he was left unburied in such disgrace and returned to nag his loved ones into giving him a final resting place. If I had believed in ghosts it is quite possible I would have been more careful with many of our more unorthodox burial practices

regardless, he will not get his wish, we're too busy to haul around sarcophagi. I don't know what kind of enthusiasm he expected when he crossed over back to Failcannon.

Hematite 23, 525

I don't care what Aik says anymore. I'm the military leader. I'll make my will be known with or without her approval. The goblins haven't fallen for her ruse. They've remained here for several weeks, camping just outside our walls.

The dwarves of Failcannon are beginning to stagnate, fewer and fewer jobs are being completed and morale is at an all time low because of the phantoms. I'm drafting a huge lot of them and training them so we can finally establish security from this goblin menace.

Malachite 3rd, 525

Migrants were spotted coming over the hills. The back door was unlocked so the migrants could enter on the off chance the goblins didn't catch them first.

fortunately for them, they all make it within the haunted aegis of Failcannon before the goblins begin their pursuit.

Malachite 6th, 525

I never thought that goblins would be so perplexed by a locked door.

It gives me an Idea that I'll put into motion soon.


taking a break because I need to eat

[Oglokoog]

Bon appetit.

[Robocorn]

Bon appetit.

Thanks, I guess


Malachite 13, 525

What

The

Fuck

The goblins were just coming below some of the suspended platforms, I a dwarf was ordered to pull the lever and some huge platform fell through the feeble earth of the plain of ooze through the tunnels we'd bored. revealing us to the goblins. it's almost as though whoever designed this stupid thing wasn't in communication with whoever designed the tunnel.

Malachite 15th, 525


The goblins have returned to their previous position on the plains  leaving us no tactical position from which to strike them. Our only chances are to outnumber their crossbowmen with our own. Which could take years as far as the managemant of this fort is going. I can only train my swordplay in preparation for our next assault.

Galena 1st, 525

The weeks have been quiet. The goblins wait outside our walls waiting for any opportunity to penetrate them.

Our new training area above the cheese complex is finished today but I have my doubts that any of these fools will be able to defend themselves.

 The past weeks have been unproductive and morale has yet to improve. We may very well have to wait out many months before we are powerful enough to take them on. Waiting is not something I'm comfortable with. I'll never be able to kill Led if I spend my whole life hiding from goblins.

Galena 14th, 525

The endless humdrum of training was end briefly today when a caravan was spotted to the east. Humans had come to trade. I'm sure Aik will be more than willing once they overcome our most prominent obstacle: The Goblins.

The Goblins and humans clashed

And the goblins scattered.
There's something to be said for stature, though it's something few dwarves would like to admit. Size is an advantage that cannot be overlooked, but it is far from the be all and end all of battles. likely the goblins were fatigued from thier weeks of camping and could have been dispatched by the Holy Irons once our training regiment was complete. Regardless, the important thing was that the goblins were gone.

Galena 24, 525

The traders had finally come to trade. The humans brought with them many things, but we weren't interested in all of it. Alcohol and weapons were what we were after. I asked for something specific to be imported beforehand. Pyromaniac, the broker seemed rather flustered during the whole ordeal. Offers were made, deals were broken, profanities were uttered, we seized what we wanted from the human caravan and sent it on its way. Pyromaniac refuses to tell me if he got me what I asked for.

Limestone 11th, 525

Times are looking up slightly. Autumn has come and the stench is dying down somewhat. The ghosts have become too commonplace to bother with anymore, and our once threatening alcohol shortage is a thing of the past. I've yet to get that zweihander I was after from the arsenal dwarf. It's existence was confirmed but it's wrapped in too much bureaucratic red tape for me to get my hands on it at this time. I'll be unstoppable when I have it in my posession. none will dare stand before me goblin, Led or otherwise.

Sandstone 2nd, 525

I heard one of my subordinates talking today. something about my absence. Though i have been spending the last few weeks tucked away in the warmth of the forges near the lower barracks it doesn't mean I've abandoned them. I'll just be working on a few things behind the scenes. It may be a risk on my part to keep documenting my plans in this book. Goodbye for now, journal. Perhaps when my rise to power is secured I'll recover you again. the gifts you get from a madman eh?

-Kivish


That's a year, 12 months. From where the save I got left off. I had to have spent at least 15 hours this week on these updates alone so i hope my successors have better computers than me.
My save will be up shortly, sorry for all the boring crap at the end, all was quiet on the western front (even though everything came from the east anyway)

PS. I can't really get any of the dwarves to do anything. It's possible that I just suck at the military menu thing or maybe my framerate is so bad I can't tell that they're responding but I really think it's just ignoring my input for some reason. Maybe some orders are screwed up somewhere, I don't know.

SAVE IS HERE

[SethCreiyd]

It might have been quiet but I didn't find it boring, given your flair for storytelling.  I never would have guessed the diary of a cheesemaker could be so thrilling.

Too bad about the floor-trap though, we'll need a new way to deal with the adamantine-deflecting-demon that may or may not come to visit.  I didn't intend for it to punch a hole in the tunnel, at any rate, sorry if that caused undue frustration.

_{Edit: Also:} awesome turn!

[Robocorn]

The funny part is that I screwed up on everything I did this turn
Not one thing I got right
I never actually made any cheese. The fort has about half as much cheese as it did when i started last sandstone. Nobody fed the infirm and they've all died and I had them chucked into the sea because nobody would set up graves. I couldn't get anymore cages so I put a door in front of LordSlowpoke's death gauntlet and just kept it locked all the time. I failed a trading with the humans so I had to seize their stuff because they quit the haggle game. Kivish never got trained, not even a little, she glitched herself into standing halfway from the bottom while she waited to give training instructions to dwarves at entirely different barracks. Hell, I couldn't even get her to pick up a two handed sword, of which we have five apparently.

I guess I had to fill in the time with characterization because otherwise it would be just screenshots of me screwing up.

Also: There was adamantine? shit, did I use the wrong save? I didn't see any.

EDIT: Firefox says it's the same save, guess I'm just dumb and couldn't find it. Durr

[SethCreiyd]

There was adamantine in the bad timeline, in the lower-left corner of the magma sea.  It isn't revealed in this timeline, yet.  As for screwing up everything, that's  how I felt at my 2nd Battlefailed turn.  Dwarf Fortress is the gaming equivalent of Finagle's Law when it wants to have fun.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Yay, I found a use for that placeholder post. That should make keeping track of that stuff easier.

PM'd LAAT501Legion.

[Urist Imiknorris]

If he doesn't show by this time tomorrow, we're on to Felcis.

[LAAT501legion]

I'm sorry, but I'm unable to take my turn   

[NightmareBros]

Alright, Felcis's turn it is then

[Urist Imiknorris]

Felcis has until I wake up tomorrow to start his turn. So he most likely has about sixteen hours to reply.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Okay, more like fourteen.

PM'd MadJax.