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[Splint]

Dear Chaos Dwarves of The Hardy Castle,

If you're going to use something as a mount in battle, use something that doesn't run away when presented with even the vaguest threat of a passing billy goat. Most of you idiots can't seem to control your horses and you make for crappy screenshots. Oh and stripping the flesh from said horses is a pain in the ass because of how far away from the fortress they insist on getting killed at is.

Thank you,
Overseer of Carryscar.

[Erils]

-an angry letter-

Dear Mr. Overfiend,

Taking the stones out of the wheelbarrow is a time-consuming job that is innefficient and, in the end, useless. The stones will just be picked up and put down again so why do it this time? Also, with that new magma-resistant Green Glass monster lurking beneath us, drink is the only solace we have. Perhaps the simple solution is just to construct another wheelbarrow?

Sincerely

-The Bearded Drunks Dwarves of FurnaceClans

[WanderingKid]

Perhaps the simple solution is just to construct another wheelbarrow?

We tried that, you semi-sober literate. You left THAT wheelbarrow right next to the other one in the minecart.

[WanderingKid]

Urvad...

Your pet Turkey is on the surface, in a cage.  It's safe.  Stop spamming me that you can't reach your pet to release it!  I'm ---><--- close to opening the maintenance access and letting you path through the grinder.

-Overfiend.

[the1337doofus]

A NOTE
TO FUCKING
URISTS MCMILITARYMEMBERS

WHEN I TELL YOU TO GET A FUCKING WEAPON
GET THAT FUCKING WEAPON
DO NOT DROP ALL YOUR ARMOUR ON THE GROUND, THEN RUSH OUTSIDE TO TRY AND FIGHT THE GOBLINS BARE FUCKING NAKED WITH NO WEAPONS.

-YOUR FUCKING FURIOUS OVERSEER

[Doktoro Reichard]

Dearest military of Shelretkib, Trancenet

STOP DIEING FROM INFECTIONS. Or better yet, when you do get an infection, when you lose a lot of blood, or if your nose is broken, go to Urist McDoctor and grab a tonne of soap and wash yourselves. I don't care how you smell, just that you get clean.

I mean, you killed over 500 goblins, trolls, jabberers and forgotten beasts all with a couple of bolts, and when I send you to kill a gremlin, you fall from a thing you could have sorted out by now.

Or better yet, don't get hurt with training spears.

Sincerely yours, your puppeteer.

[Sutremaine]

Dear Catten Fashablel,

I was impressed when you took a short tumble and carried on mining for a few squares while drifting in and out of consciousness from your broken right hand. After walking yourself to the hospital and being patched up and discharged within a week, I decided to follow you as you cleared out the last of the channels for the bees' above-ground access. I was less impressed when your response to hitting the clay layer just below the surface was to channel out that clay beneath your feet and fall 23 levels.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What the fuck are you trying to prove, you mad dwarven bastard?

[flame99]

Well, she does have bad intuition.

[Erils]

Perhaps the simple solution is just to construct another wheelbarrow?

We tried that, you semi-sober literate. You left THAT wheelbarrow right next to the other one in the minecart.

Then we just *hic* need another wheelbarrow. It's not like *hic* anyone cares if we *hic* cut down all the trees.....

From:
The Dwarves of FurnaceClans

[oldark]

Duplicate from the whats happening thread but it belongs more here anyway.

Dear Urist,

The trousers are for your legs. Please stop wearing them on your torso.

--Overseer

[Erils]

Duplicate from the whats happening thread but it belongs more here anyway.

Dear Urist,

The trousers are for your legs. Please stop wearing them on your torso.

--Overseer

Dear Overseer,

The trousers are so much warmer and seem to offer more protection.

--Urist

[smjjames]

Duplicate from the whats happening thread but it belongs more here anyway.

Dear Urist,

The trousers are for your legs. Please stop wearing them on your torso.

--Overseer

Lol, how does that happen?  Although are you thinking lower body as torso? Because that's waist down.

[blazing glory]

Duplicate from the whats happening thread but it belongs more here anyway.

Dear Urist,

The trousers are for your legs. Please stop wearing them on your torso.

--Overseer

Lol, how does that happen?  Although are you thinking lower body as torso? Because that's waist down.

How does it happen that the guts and spleen and other organs are waist down?

[smjjames]

To Litast Whiptrails, fresh marksdwarf recruit,

Why are you not picking up the backpack and quiver? You can't use a crossbow without a quiver, go and freaking get the stuff! What the heck are you waiting for! You've got training scheduled!

Overseer of Lashdye.

Edit: NOW she gets the stuff.

Edit2: Now she decides to sleep. Okay...... Better get a good rest because you'll have a busy training session.....

[BlackFlyme]

To the dorfs:

Why are you all sneaking everywhere? None of you have hunting enabled and there is absolutely no wildlife on the map, so I don't understand what would convince you to skulk everywhere.

I know you lot are sneaking because I've noticed your ambushing skills increasing and you are all moving unbelievably slow.

Confusing.