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[Bumber]

To the dorfs:

Why are you all sneaking everywhere? None of you have hunting enabled and there is absolutely no wildlife on the map, so I don't understand what would convince you to skulk everywhere.

I know you lot are sneaking because I've noticed your ambushing skills increasing and you are all moving unbelievably slow.

Confusing.

Uh-oh. Your dorfs think they're kobolds. They're all going to need professional help.

[BlackFlyme]

Uh-oh. Your dorfs think they're kobolds. They're all going to need professional help.

More like I messed up an interaction somewhere and now everything in the game is trying to be stealthy.

My dwarfs were 'ambushed' by a hidden snapping turtle.

Though I don't know what specifically caused this.

[Dwarf4Explosives]

Bug log: Mutant Ninja Turtles: Presumed cause: Teenagers.

[Knit tie]

Dear Urist McCaptain,

Your wife and infant child died because you and the rest of your squad were too busy throwing a party to save them from a giant langur, and then your mother in law threw a fit and kicked Udib the smith's brains out. His friend, in turn, threw a fit of his own, broke a door and flooded the entire industrial level with magma. This has caused 23 dwarves to burn alive, 2 to drown while heroically breaching the underground lake in an attempt to contain the catastrophe and 4 more innocent souls to be forever encased in obsidian. The rest of the fortress, understandably, erupted into a massive riot which culminated with our bookkeeper making your only friend into a shoe before starving to death. You currently are the only survivior out of a population of 80, wearing your dead friend on your right foot. Why the fuck are you still ecstatic?

Sincerely,
Your overseer.

[Erils]

Dear Overseer.

I'm ecstaic because my foot is incredibly warm! My old shoes were always way too cold.

Sincerely,
Urist McCaptain

[the1337doofus]

A note to the useless bloody idiots I call mechanics:
You were supposed to link that bridge to a lever.
Instead, you didn't, and a titan wandered in. Good job. You're assigned to the military. Happy death!

[Erils]

Kulet Sedil, 122, Sandstone.

A desert titan is attacking! And we have no military! PANIC! PANIC! YOU THERE! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN HANDLE A WEAPON! TAKE THESE PEASANTS AND GO KILL IT!


____

Well, that's a dead war drake, and 3 less useless mouths to feed. Hip hip, hooray.

Dear Overseer

Those three "useless mouths" were my best friends. Now I'm going to throw a tantrum about this and bring your whole fortress to an end! Lets see how useless they were now.

From
Urist McAngry

[Larix]

Uh-oh. Your dorfs think they're kobolds. They're all going to need professional help.

More like I messed up an interaction somewhere and now everything in the game is trying to be stealthy.

My dwarfs were 'ambushed' by a hidden snapping turtle.

Though I don't know what specifically caused this.

Awesome!

It probably won't be too useful against invaders, who don't really seem to be affected by your units' stealth, but the speed penalty slowly goes away with raising level (in fact, it entirely disappears at the fabled legendary +5 in adventurer mode) and training the skill improves agility, spatial and kinesthetic sense and focus, according to the Wiki.

Of course, keeping the professions apart might become difficult when everyone's flashing green.

[BlackFlyme]

Awesome!

It probably won't be too useful against invaders, who don't really seem to be affected by your units' stealth, but the speed penalty slowly goes away with raising level (in fact, it entirely disappears at the fabled legendary +5 in adventurer mode) and training the skill improves agility, spatial and kinesthetic sense and focus, according to the Wiki.

Of course, keeping the professions apart might become difficult when everyone's flashing green.

The problem was that everything was sneaking all the time, from dwarves to wild animals. The game would stop every few seconds because some random animal was spotted, and I couldn't see any of the wildlife on the map unless they got too close to the dwarves. It was happening in adventure mode too, and for some reason even my adventurer was involuntarily sneaking. Whenever I stopped sneaking it would automatically force me to start sneaking again.

I still don't know why that's happening, but for now I've disabled every hiding interaction.

[blazing glory]

Dear Urist McCaptain,

Your wife and infant child died because you and the rest of your squad were too busy throwing a party to save them from a giant langur, and then your mother in law threw a fit and kicked Udib the smith's brains out. His friend, in turn, threw a fit of his own, broke a door and flooded the entire industrial level with magma. This has caused 23 dwarves to burn alive, 2 to drown while heroically breaching the underground lake in an attempt to contain the catastrophe and 4 more innocent souls to be forever encased in obsidian. The rest of the fortress, understandably, erupted into a massive riot which culminated with our bookkeeper making your only friend into a shoe before starving to death. You currently are the only survivior out of a population of 80, wearing your dead friend on your right foot. Why the fuck are you still ecstatic?

Sincerely,
Your overseer.

Dwarf fortress in it's rawest form

[Mad Jackal]

Duplicate from the whats happening thread but it belongs more here anyway.

Dear Urist,

The trousers are for your legs. Please stop wearing them on your torso.

--Overseer

Lol, how does that happen?  Although are you thinking lower body as torso? Because that's waist down.

How does it happen that the guts and spleen and other organs are waist down?

The waist is actually right below the rib cage.  Where things get narrow on hourglass figures.
 The hips are not the waist.

[doublestrafe]

Dear Urist McSlab-o-miner,

I'm not even mad. There was 1 tile with 3 water. There was 1 tile with 1 magma. I just want to know...how did you even manage to be in it right as they combined?

Best of luck to you in your new life path as a rough obsidian wall. Maybe I'll make your slab out of you.

Regards,

The Overseer

[blazing glory]

Duplicate from the whats happening thread but it belongs more here anyway.

Dear Urist,

The trousers are for your legs. Please stop wearing them on your torso.

--Overseer

Lol, how does that happen?  Although are you thinking lower body as torso? Because that's waist down.

How does it happen that the guts and spleen and other organs are waist down?

The waist is actually right below the rib cage.  Where things get narrow on hourglass figures.
 The hips are not the waist.

Thus we have the problem,our urist is wearing pants right below his rib cage,while he should be wearing the pants on his legs so the lower body is at the same time below his ribcage and his legs

[Knit tie]

[/left]

Duplicate from the whats happening thread but it belongs more here anyway.

Dear Urist,

The trousers are for your legs. Please stop wearing them on your torso.

--Overseer

Lol, how does that happen?  Although are you thinking lower body as torso? Because that's waist down.

How does it happen that the guts and spleen and other organs are waist down?

The waist is actually right below the rib cage.  Where things get narrow on hourglass figures.
 The hips are not the waist.

Thus we have the problem,our urist is wearing pants right below his rib cage,while he should be wearing the pants on his legs so the lower body is at the same time below his ribcage and his legs

That's nothing, I had some kobold thiefs wear thongs on their heads.

[BlackFlyme]

That's nothing, I had some kobold thiefs wear thongs on their heads.

I know I saw an image of this somewhere once before.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)