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[Lielac]

Dear carp:

Thank you for the entertainment when you drop off the waterfall and slam into the floor grates I installed for the safety of my dwarves. Your unpleasant deaths result in much amusement for me, even if you do surprise my dwarves and interrupt them while eating.

Sincerely,

Overseer Lielac of Lanceanvil

[Jenniretta]

Dear Overlord,

I can't help it.  My sense of duty, my combat training, and my love of my homeland all point to only one solution: engage any and all enemies until they're dead or I am.  If I see them, they're going down.  Sorry.

Sincerely, Urist McMeatShield

---

If a soldier gets line of sight to an enemy, they will engage, and they won't stop until it's over.  If you want to station a soldier somewhere and not have him charge into the fray, you have two options.  You can put him somewhere his line of sight to the enemy is blocked (behind a short wall, perhaps).  Or you can have him blinded so he doesn't have line of sight to anything, ever.

Yeah, I haven't played with the military too much since 40d, normally in the newer versions I've had traps to deal with invaders and my military was basically just clean-up. This was my first time since "stay close to station" was removed actually having a fair fight against 40ish goblins. I did not realize that nowadays a station becomes completely irrelevant once they see a goblin or a troll.

[weenog]

Yeah, I haven't played with the military too much since 40d, normally in the newer versions I've had traps to deal with invaders and my military was basically just clean-up. This was my first time since "stay close to station" was removed actually having a fair fight against 40ish goblins. I did not realize that nowadays a station becomes completely irrelevant once they see a goblin or a troll.

I'm seriously considering reshaping all my fortress entrances and exits as P-traps to prevent premature charging and render enemy archers mostly harmless.

[Jenniretta]

Yeah, I haven't played with the military too much since 40d, normally in the newer versions I've had traps to deal with invaders and my military was basically just clean-up. This was my first time since "stay close to station" was removed actually having a fair fight against 40ish goblins. I did not realize that nowadays a station becomes completely irrelevant once they see a goblin or a troll.

I'm seriously considering reshaping all my fortress entrances and exits as P-traps to prevent premature charging and render enemy archers mostly harmless.

Yeah, I think I'm going to add a wall between the doors and station, to cut off line of sight, as a work-around.

Back on topic:
Dear Urist McBeeKeeper,

I set the "stay inside" alert, and restricted all civilians to that burrow. that includes you and you know it. Stop stepping two tiles outside the burrow looking for beehives, realising you can't go there, and taking the exact same job again, and repeating your little burrow dance. I know dances like this are in your blood - throughout dwarf history, when the overlord says "stay inside" everyone has danced in the doorway - but burrows are supposed to limit what jobs you'll accept, so why are you choosing the bees outside to populate your hive? we have hives inside the burrow ready to split, and you have all your hauling, cleaning, and food/drink delivery labours enables. there is plenty of stuff for you to do inside the safety of the burrow.

Sincerely,
Your migraine-afflicted overlord.

[Greiger]

To Siege Operator.

That was a very good shot.  However 'Fire at will' Does not mean fire at our own soldiers that are out in the field.  Fortunately no-one was severely injured, but you are on notice mister.


To Swordsman

Holy crap, are you some kind of ninja?  Batting a ballista arrow out of the air 4 times in a second?  What did you do play haci sack with it?

The administration

[Eric Blank]

Dear Greiger

Just be lucky your siege operator's daughter wasn't standing in front of the ballista when they fired it. Always a hell of a mess when kids get disemboweled by large, flying objects.

Sincerely; the dwarven council of poor advice.

[Broseph Stalin]

Dear Urist McWrestler.

Grabbing someones ass and refusing to let go is not sparring it is however sexual harassment. Stop it.

-H.R.

[Nixonitus]

Dearest Mountain Home:

I cannot help but notice that the past few migrant waves have been almost 80% children.
I can only assume that this is due to some kind of overpopulation back home.
I would like you to know that we are doing our best to stem this population somewhat.
 Fortunately, since very few of them seem to have been sent with their parents, this is very easy. The only downside being that we lose use of our rather nice dining hall the tykes seem so taken with...
In any case; We are attempting some experimentation at child-catapults, so as to make this quantifiable recourse most useful. We will keep you posted on this development.

~Urst McChildbeater.

PS: Don't send parents. They get mad, and the last one tore my Legendary Engraver's arm off. And then beat people with it.

[laxori666]

Dear Avuz,

Please calm down! I understand you're upset that our mayor closed the gates before your spouse could safely make it inside, away from the Goblin Lashers. We all observed the tantrum you threw. Please understand that dwarven mental constitution is very fragile and that if you keep this temperament up you will likely go insane! I recommend spending 95% of your time in our legendary dining room to boost your mood.

Urist McPsychologist

---

Dear Avuz,

Yes, I know your son was also lost to the lashers. Your consecutive tantrums have not gone unnoticed. I'm prescribing you an ultra high dose of hanging out in our legendary meeting area surrounded by golden statues of our brave dwarfs' exploits. Please take this advice.

Urist McPsychologist

---

Dear Avuz,

You're on the brink of insanity, good dwarf! Please take my advice and go observe a brilliant artifact or something!

Urist McPsychologist

---

Today, we are here to mourn the loss of Avuz McDwarf, went insane from losing his family and was promptly cut down and bashed in his face by our noble militia squad, The Lonely Wheels, on the 6th-level corridor...

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

Urist McLengendaryStabmeister, could you give us details of your slaughter of the goblin?

[cattouchdis]

Dear Urists McEveryoneWithHaulingTurnedOn

Why is it that I have had many things designated for dumping for several seasons and you do nothing yet when I see the cat bring something in and I have to designate it to be dumped you immediately jump to bringing it to the dump?

Also, Urists McMasons

Please don't build a few walls and bits and pieces of the floor and then go off and do whatever, I want those so I can feel as if the place looks good, and having the dirt with the random piece of floor every once and a while does not look pleasing to the eye and I can only imagine what the traders think of us.

Sincerely,
The One Who Controls The Fort

[Doctor_Whiteface]

Dear Urists McEveryoneWithHaulingTurnedOn

Why is it that I have had many things designated for dumping for several seasons and you do nothing yet when I see the cat bring something in and I have to designate it to be dumped you immediately jump to bringing it to the dump?

Also, Urists McMasons

Please don't build a few walls and bits and pieces of the floor and then go off and do whatever, I want those so I can feel as if the place looks good, and having the dirt with the random piece of floor every once and a while does not look pleasing to the eye and I can only imagine what the traders think of us.

Sincerely,
The One Who Controls The Fort

Dear Little Voice in our Heads,

We're not the only ones that can slap down some stones and a bit of mortar, you know. Turn on Masonry and Stone Detailing for everyone in the fort, the fact that it takes everyone but us three times longer to build a floor will be made up for by there being ten times as many people building.

Yours,
The Masons.

[Greiger]

To Elven caravan chocobo

You kicked (ok technically they dodged your kick and jumped in but I don't judge) 3 Orc lashers into the local volcano.  Singlehandedly, while loaded down with logs and a Giant Jaguar cage on your back.  You have officially gained the 'Dwarven' title.  Would you like to join our fortress? 

We have greens.

-The Administration

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

dear urist mcweaponsmith

...rosegold? really man? you were SURROUNDED by steel, silver, iron, pig iron and copper, and what you chose, was rose gold.

now, im not saying that im not happy with the rose gold mace you made...even though we dont currently have a macedwarf in the fort, but really man? you couldnt have picked a better metal?

now before you start making excuses that a demon or ghost possessed you, i call bullshit, i think your just trying to screw with the first macedwarf we get by making me equip him with a pretty purple mace

signed

mildly annoyed oversear.

I think gold is want, the 4th best metal for blunt weapons?

[Eric Blank]

Gold is certainly superior to silver for use in blunt weaponry. Rose gold has the same density. Platinum is clearly superior, and electrum is a close second between gold and silver. If you got a rose gold mace, anyone that picks it up will immediately become a badass compared to any other maceman. Well, so long as they have proper military training