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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1538210 times)

Frelus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2400 on: October 30, 2011, 09:09:01 am »
Dear Urist McMason,
I know that there are many things a dwarf needs to stay healthy, and that staying healthy is quite important.
Still, a even better way to stay healthy is to wall up the damn passage into the caverns, where a silver forgotten beast was residing.
Now, it resides in our fortress, making ALL of our darfs unhealthy, just because you had to eat, drink, sleep and THEN party instead of walling the damn 1 tile passage up.
I will now make you a burrow at the beast's location.
-Your angry good of blood
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Quote from: Necro910 on August 21, 2011, 04:33:52 pm
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's Fun and Dwarf Fortress.
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy on August 07, 2011, 05:08:07 am
My trade depot is set to flood with water at the pull of a lever.  It's deep in the tunnels with easy drainage.  I call it my "water for goods" trading policy.

Nyxalinth

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2401 on: October 30, 2011, 09:59:33 pm »
Dear Sqauds the Parity of Crystal, Molten Spears, and another whose name escapes me for now,

You guys are awesome.  Truly.  You're poorly equipped, half-assed trained, and yet you've killed countless cavern critters, a small goblin ambush, and best of all, an ETTIN.  You took down the berserk child before she could cause major trouble quite nicely, too.  But for the gods' sakes, did one of you have to hit that tantrumming recruit quite so hard?  A punch in the nose would have sufficed.  Now I have to engrave a slab for him.  What an ignoble end.

I look forward to sending you against the first Forgotten Beast to visit, when it does.  I hope you won't mind me sealing the cavern behind you until we see what happens out.

Proudly,

Your Overseer
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Nyxalinth likes the color blue, gaming, writing, art, cats for their aloofness,  Transformers for their sentience and ability to transform, and the Constructicons for their hard work and building skills. Whenever possible, she prefers to consume bacon cheeseburgers and pinot noir. She absolutely detests stupid people.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2402 on: October 30, 2011, 10:17:29 pm »
Dear Urist Mc Awesome.

Quit being Awesome and actually do something.
Sincerely, job queue.
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Hitty40

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2403 on: October 30, 2011, 10:29:44 pm »
Dear Urist,

I know, I know: you don't have a last name. So what? If you did, it would probrably be Urist McGetTheFuckOutOfThBoozePileAlreadyAndMakeSomeWeapons.
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Quote from: Wannazzaki on December 23, 2011, 07:39:30 pm
Ho Ho Ho! I'm going to be sticking economic stone so far up your stockings, you'll be coughing up gemstone windows!
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if there's lots of g's and z's, it's gobbo. If you don't really recognize it, it's human. if it's called Urist, it's dwarf.

Kogut

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2404 on: October 31, 2011, 10:27:42 am »
Quote from: Loud Whispers on October 30, 2011, 10:17:29 pm
Dear Urist Mc Awesome.

Quit being Awesome and actually do something.
Sincerely, job queue.
I really like it!

Dear DF.
PLEASE, STOP CRASHING ON EMBARK.
Sincerely, Urist Mc10minutesWastedOnSkillAssigments.
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The worst bug - 34.11 poll
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Necro910

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2405 on: October 31, 2011, 10:42:46 am »
Quote from: Nyxalinth on October 30, 2011, 09:59:33 pm
Dear Sqauds the Parity of Crystal, Molten Spears, and another whose name escapes me for now,

You guys are awesome.  Truly.  You're poorly equipped, half-assed trained, and yet you've killed countless cavern critters, a small goblin ambush, and best of all, an ETTIN.  You took down the berserk child before she could cause major trouble quite nicely, too.  But for the gods' sakes, did one of you have to hit that tantrumming recruit quite so hard?  A punch in the nose would have sufficed.  Now I have to engrave a slab for him.  What an ignoble end.

I look forward to sending you against the first Forgotten Beast to visit, when it does.  I hope you won't mind me sealing the cavern behind you until we see what happens out.

Proudly,

Your Overseer
Dear Overseer,
When we die, we're going to hit YOU a little too hard in the nose.

With magma,
The militia
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2406 on: October 31, 2011, 01:12:23 pm »
Quote from: The Grenadier's handbook to infantry Dwarfship
The beauty of the command system is that the commanding officer thinks all of his soldiers are drunken idiots, and all of the soldiers think the officers are drunken idiots.
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Necro910

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2407 on: October 31, 2011, 01:14:02 pm »
Quote from: Loud Whispers on October 31, 2011, 01:12:23 pm
Quote from: The Grenadier's handbook to infantry Dwarfship
The beauty of the command system is that the commanding officer thinks all of his soldiers are drunken idiots, and all of the soldiers think the officers are drunken idiots.
Both sides are correct.
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Malarauko

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2408 on: October 31, 2011, 03:58:02 pm »
Quote from: Necro910 on October 31, 2011, 01:14:02 pm
Quote from: Loud Whispers on October 31, 2011, 01:12:23 pm
Quote from: The Grenadier's handbook to infantry Dwarfship
The beauty of the command system is that the commanding officer thinks all of his soldiers are drunken idiots, and all of the soldiers think the officers are drunken idiots.
Both sides are correct.
Surely Drunken Idiot is an honorific among dwarves?

Also Dear Dwarves,
The goblins are behind a 4 tile thick solid granite wall with a magma moat. Just because you can see him does not mean he can kill you. He does not have voodoo eyes!

Your sincerely, The Overseer.
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Dwarf Fortress - Losing is fun.

mr_seeker

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2409 on: October 31, 2011, 05:35:11 pm »
Dear Mayor Urist,

I know you like thrones. I know you love them soo much, that you wanted 3 new thrones and putting an export ban on it. Next time, just ask me to put them in your room instead of putting an useless export ban on thrones...

Your overseer.
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mr_seeker

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2410 on: October 31, 2011, 06:24:14 pm »
I think he is in love with thrones... After that ban, he asked for more thrones :S
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Necro910

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2411 on: October 31, 2011, 06:27:10 pm »
Dear Necro,

I know you love ballistas, but if you want them, you should mandate them, and not ban the export of them. We never even made a siege workshop to manufacture ballista parts!

With magma,
Necro
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2412 on: October 31, 2011, 06:30:43 pm »
Quote from: Malarauko on October 31, 2011, 03:58:02 pm
Quote from: Necro910 on October 31, 2011, 01:14:02 pm
Quote from: Loud Whispers on October 31, 2011, 01:12:23 pm
Quote from: The Grenadier's handbook to infantry Dwarfship
The beauty of the command system is that the commanding officer thinks all of his soldiers are drunken idiots, and all of the soldiers think the officers are drunken idiots.
Both sides are correct.
Surely Drunken Idiot is an honorific among dwarves?

Also Dear Dwarves,
The goblins are behind a 4 tile thick solid granite wall with a magma moat. Just because you can see him does not mean he can kill you. He does not have voodoo eyes!

Your sincerely, The Overseer.

Being a drunken dwarf is better.
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Time Blossom

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2413 on: October 31, 2011, 06:48:42 pm »
You say that as if dwarf and idiot are not synonymous.

Granted, we're leaving out "savant," but still.

(Dwarf savant is best savant)
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Time Blossom cancels everything: NaNoWriMo

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2414 on: October 31, 2011, 06:52:02 pm »
Quote from: Kogut on October 31, 2011, 10:27:42 am
Quote from: Loud Whispers on October 30, 2011, 10:17:29 pm
Dear Urist Mc Awesome.

Quit being Awesome and actually do something.
Sincerely, job queue.
I really like it!

Dear DF.
PLEASE, STOP CRASHING ON EMBARK.
Sincerely, Urist Mc10minutesWastedOnSkillAssigments.

Dear Urist Mc10MinuesWastedOnSkillAssignments,
Embark profiles can help next time.
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