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[Dwarfaholic]

The Battle.

Initial Positions:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Starting from the absolute left and going clockwise:
Kagus the Human, with two Giant Eagle Groovesprites.
It is unfortunate there were no attribute controls. I was planning on giving Kagus and the Eagle Superior Musicality, which surely would have boosted their morale and combat prowess greatly.
All three are good martial artists.

Tarran the Dragon with attitude and a large knife.
Unfortunately DF does not have electric dragons or, for that matter, syringes. I abstracted as well as I could.

Flagrarus and his posse.
Pikachu is a hoary marmot with exceptional dodging skills, although in retrospect a fire imp may have been a more accurate choice.
Scyther is an antman with an iron breast plate and two longswords.
Ghastly is a slugman because, hey, what the hell. Slugmen are cool.
Moltres was intended to be a dragon, but an unfortunate error turned it into an elf of some sort. My apologies.
On the other hand, Moltres would have been rather OP, so yeah.
Flagrarus's Gameswitch was not taken into account here, because I had no idea how to model it. Flagrarus does, however, have two crossbows, a dagger, and a bolt, although my neglecting to give him a quiver caused him to drop the bolts and the dagger. Still, Flagrarus has the advantage of numbers here.

Inteuniso, I'm afraid, has nothing special going for him. I mean, he's a pretty good observer, but...
yeah. On the bright side for him, I forgot to add +1 to his team, so he's allied with Flagrarus.

Ragnarok97071 has a katana, cow leather armor, a cow leather cape, a crossbow and bolts. However, he also dropped his bolts. Note to self: quivers.

Schilcote is a human. That's... essentially it. Some basic hitting skills.

HmH is pimping it out with a solid gold crossbow. Also, his small inventory means he's the only one who can actually use his bolts. That's a pretty solid advantage there.

RedWarrior0 I was unfortunately unable to give charisma or movement penalties. He is, though, a professional kicker, the best in the arena.

ReDeadEr, Rexfelum, Maxicaxi, and Paranatural II are all just garden variety humans. Their chances are... not so good.

Spoiler: First Blood (click to show/hide)

HmH draws blood on RedWarrior0 with a hit on the right upper arm with a solid gold bolt.
Flagarus's forces encircle Tarran, who charges at Scyther and tears into his her left arm.

Spoiler: Some Time Later (click to show/hide)

Kagus has the highest killcount at this time: he killed Maxicaxi with a boot to the head, and Paranatural II with a punch to the face.
Tarran is getting overwhelmed by Flagrarus's troop, although he is fighting back with admirable chutzpah. He has, for instance, managed to kill Flagrarus himself with liberal use of dragonfire. The troop fights on, unfettered by the death of their leader.

RedWarrior0 was slain by Rexfelum, after he had given in to the pain of having a bolt in his hand (HmH), his floating rib shattered (by ReDeadEr) and his heart bruised by Rexfelum's inerrant hand. Rexfelum jammed RedWarrior0s skull into his brain, the traditional execution way.



It ain't looking too good for the ol' reptile in this melee.

Other points of interest: Schilcote, despite his mediocre skills, managed to kick out one of the teeth of HmH, who is retaliating with gold. The other human fighters are mostly charging and dodging.

Spoiler: Still Some Time Later (click to show/hide)

Scyther nonchalantly decapitates one of the groovesprites, and then resumes poking uselessly at Tarran. A kill for Flagrarus.
Pikachu, after ridiculous amounts of dodging his superiors, finally gets caught by Kagus, kicked into unconsciousness, and mauled to death by Kagus and the surviving Groovesprite.

ReDeadEr gets his skull caved in by Schilcote.

After an intense battle of fisticuffs Ragnarok97071 gets his skull punched in by Inteuniso. At this time it seems the prevaling method of killing is via "Fist to the brain," an ancient martial art developed by primitive dwarfs in eons past.

Rexfelum is enraged, and seems to be winning his fight against Schilcote.



Schilcote dies next, killed by HmH's melee crossbow hit. The hit jammed the skull into the brain. HmH turns his attention to punching the unconcious Tarran, although he can do naught but bruise his muscles.
Rexfelum calms down.

The Groovesprite bits Ghastly in the head, hitting his eye and his brain. Another kill for Kagus.

Observation: at this time Inteuniso is still completely unharmed, which is terrifying. By contrast every single other creature in the arena has several reds or at least multiple yellows. The second least hurt is Kagus, with three yellows (head, lower body, right lower arm) and one brown (left hand).

Kagus beats Scyther into submission, gouges out its eyes (multiple times, there's over a page of Kagus gouging out Scyther's eyes) and finally punches her in the brain.

Rexfelum kicks HmH in the exposed brain after a fearless scratching contest. HmH loses another tooth to Rexfelum's relentless scratching, a symbol that he will die.
At this time all surviving creatures are in the grand melee centered around Tarran's unconcious body. He is still badly wounded but alive.

'Moltres' is enraged.



Schilcote gets ambushed by the half-dead Groovesprite and bleeds to death after being shaken around by the torso for several pages. He manages to bruise the Groovesprite some more, which at this point really stops mattering.

The Groovesprite continues it's mad killing spree by next taking out Rexfelum, whose mad scratching skills fail to save him against the eagle's snatching and biting.

Moltres is next. While the enraged elf survives for longer than most others, the combined powers of Kagus and his Groovesprite prove be too much.

Tarran wakes up to deliver one more burst of dragonfire, catching Kagus, and his Groovesprite, directly in the face, before dropping into unconsciousness again.



It ain't looking too good for Kagus.

He succumbs to his wounds soon after. His Groovesprite, perhaps losing the will to live, also bleeds to death and falls on Tarran and his fallen brother. The last survivor is Tarran, and in excellent condition:



Congratulations to the winner!

Spoiler: Tallying The Scores: (click to show/hide)

Tarran: 3
Kagus: 9
Flagrarus: 1
Inteuniso: 1
Ragnarok97071: 0
Schilcote: 1
HmH: 1
RedWarrior0: 0
ReDeadEr: 0
Rexfelum: 0
Maxicaxi: 0
Paranatural II: 0

I was in a hurry in this, so the scores will probably be completely inaccurate. And no, I don't know when exactly Maxi and Para died, only that they were killed by Kagus. My apologies to the two of you, your deaths should have been more carefully documented.

[Dwarfaholic]

^Bonus Round Complete.

[ragnarok97071]

Wait, so I was the only one with armor and I STILL LOST? also, why wasn't I using my sword?

[Tarran]

Woo! I won!

Also, good job Kagus for getting 9 kills. Jeez, that's a lot of kills.

[Dwarfaholic]

Wait, so I was the only one with armor and I STILL LOST? also, why wasn't I using my sword?

Ragnarok, there are some things science cannot provide an answer for.

This... is one of those things.

[Flagrarus]

That could've gone better. And I had a 6-man team, too!

Manipulate <Idling Actions Auto-Succeed (to <Idling Counts As An Action>)
Cut a dimensional hole in space between where I am and somewhere on the moon, using my gameswitch.

[Rexfelum]

The brains on my fists (and feet) beg to differ with those results!  Let me copy a tally I just made:

Flagrarus: 1 (Groovesprite)
HmH: 1 (Schilcote)
Inteuniso: 1 (Ragnarok97071)
Kagus: 8 (Maxicaxi, Paranatural II, Pikachu, Ghastly, Scyther, Schilcote, Rexfelum, Moltres)
Maxicaxi: 0
Paranatural II: 0
Ragnarok97071: 0
ReDeadEr: 0
RedWarrior0: 0
Rexfelum: 2 (RedWarrior0, HmH)
Schilcote: 1 (ReDeadEr)
Tarran: 3 (Flagrarus, Kagus, Groovesprite)

The key difference other than my 2 kills is that Kagus had 8 kills, not 9.  Also, Schilcote died twice.  Dang.

--Rexfelum

Edited P.S.: Subsequent discussion suggests that Schilcote's second death, to Kagus's Groovesprite, may actually have been Inteuniso's death.

[Tarran]

Well, he may not have gotten 9 kills, but he still got 8 kills which is still amazing.

[Zrk2]

Dying twice is more amazing

[inteuniso]

So wait... how did I die? I went from completely unharmed to dead.

Interesting.

[Rexfelum]

So wait... how did I die? I went from completely unharmed to dead.

Interesting.

Oh ho ho!  A missing entry!  Just what we needed: I think we can presume that one of Schilcote's deaths was actually yours.  Probably the second one, to Kagus's Groovesprite.

--Rexfelum

[Kagus]

Funky.

[Dwarfaholic]

Round 51:

Round Complete.

Ragnarok97071: Obtain Item:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Result: 1

You Give the Deceased Acanthus117 II All Your Stuff, including One Of Your Kidneys and A Third Of Your Liver.

But still, despite your best efforts, Acanthus117 II Remains Dead.

Physical Damage Roll: 3
Mental Damage Roll: 6

Physical Health 3/6. Mental Health 0/6. Maybe You Should Give Him Some More Of Your Liver. Or perhaps Sparks.


Would That Be A Good Idea?


((Yes, I forgot to add your Phys and Ment healths when you got that crafting six. I'll just assume you got full health, as compensation for my error.))

Item(s) Lost!
Special Effects Katana
Submachine Gun
Longcoat

Tarran: Locate Object:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Result: 5

Hey, do any of you Athenians know where the Beta Object is?

Conveniently enough yes. Also, we find it completely unremarkable that you can speak to us even though you are a dragon.

Yes, it is natural. Let us never speak of it again.

You also find it Completely Understandable that The Grunts still haven't done anything. It's as if they're Waiting For Something, or something.



Oh, yeah. The Beta Object.

Rock Strongo explains that The Object can most likely be found near the Dreamlands Gate. Well, that cleared things out for you! Here you were thinking finding it would be a Chore.

Inteuniso: Request Item:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Result: 2

Listen, we don't got no stamps, okay?
And stop asking questions. Boss doesn't like us being friendly with people we're going to kill.
It's like, capitalism, okay?

Flagrarus: Change Option, Use Gameswitch:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Result: AUTOSUCCESS, 4

After Effortlessly Changing The Option you Try To Cut Open Space. It doesn't work, though. Lance tells you it's probably because your Level is Still Too Low.
You do manage to Split An Atom, though. Of course, since it wouldn't cause a chain reaction in air, there's No Visible Effect. But still, it's almost kinda Cool.

Kagus: AUTOPILOT:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Result: PILOT SUCCESS

You Funk Out a bit, just for fun.

Schilcote: Arrive:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Result: 4

You Spawn in a Pretty Regular-Looking Stretch Of Corridor. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Nothing.

[Dwarfaholic]

^Round Complete.

[inteuniso]

Explain the true tenets of capitalism to the brutes.