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Author Topic: America Prevails  (Read 25780 times)

Wimdit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #240 on: April 21, 2010, 07:25:04 am »
Throw back the grenade if possible and then toss your fallen comrade back inside. Then go inside.

Failing both of those, get him to lie flat until the grenade goes off, then prop him up, shelter behind him and make ready to take potshots with your Thompson. Protect your ally with your improbable aiming skills. His feet will probably be unusable after that, so maybe try to dig any shrapnel out with Babe's bayonet once the Comwhatevers are dead. You're a surgeon!

And put the damn helmet on, you idiot. America doesn't have time for this nonsense.
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IronyOwl

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #241 on: April 21, 2010, 07:33:15 am »
If the grenade is very close to us, snag it and throw it back. If it's too far away to get to almost instantly, grab our friend and hurl both him and ourselves behind a counter or something.

If we do go for the grenade, try to inspect the flag that Commalamst was carrying after we've thrown it.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
Quote from: Ozarck on January 02, 2021, 01:32:20 pm
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Karnewarrior

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #242 on: April 21, 2010, 12:00:06 pm »
Quote from: IronyOwl on April 21, 2010, 07:33:15 am
If the grenade is very close to us, snag it and throw it back. If it's too far away to get to almost instantly, grab our friend and hurl both him and ourselves behind a counter or something.

If we do go for the grenade, try to inspect the flag that Commalamst was carrying after we've thrown it.
More detailed than my post, but same general concept. I approve. You live...for today...

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNN!
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Diablous

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #243 on: May 04, 2010, 03:53:39 pm »
*bump*
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Quote from: Solifuge
A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.

Canalan

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #244 on: May 04, 2010, 06:13:10 pm »
Scream:
"Probability of a Communist victory: Impossible."
Then kick grenade back at PINKO FLAG HOLDER OF HATRED
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Karnewarrior

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #245 on: May 04, 2010, 06:44:44 pm »
Rock out!
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #246 on: May 04, 2010, 06:45:40 pm »
Thanks for reminding me of this. It might have died otherwise.

I'll update within the day. That's my time, so you've got about 20 hours before the day's out. I'm just doing something right now.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #247 on: May 05, 2010, 06:12:56 am »
You quickly pick up the grenade to throw it back. This is the best idea you can come up with!

The grenade was cooked before it was thrown. Your upper body all but disintegrates.

A flashing bunch of images. A crowd, in anger, shouting. Something burning - no, everything burning. The dark lord rules through outdated political systems.

Rewinding.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2010, 03:59:05 pm by Jackrabbit »
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Karnewarrior

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #248 on: May 05, 2010, 06:21:49 am »
ah,you ass.

Y
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #249 on: May 05, 2010, 06:26:28 am »
You dedicate your not-exactly-enormous-right-now amount of brain power to the task of working out why the Commies are carrying rather dated American weapons. Your friend, who seems mute, has no answers for you so you ask him if he has a radio. He shakes his head. Bugger.

You can hear boots pounding outside. A Comluhist rounds the corner, carrying what appears to be a FLAG! He is also holding a Vektor CP1 in one hand, a gun you immediately recognize. Who wouldn't? He fires a round that pings past your head. Son of a bitch. Desert Eagle Man reacts quickly, bringing his Desert Eagle to bear and firing a bullet INSCRIBED WITH A PATRIOTIC QUOTE. You fail to note this, as the bullet is traveling too fast and anyway, quickly embeds itself in the enemy's chest. He drops to his knees in shock, down and out. You can still hear the pounding of enemy boots. It looks like your foe had backup. Suddenly, several things happen.

One, the man's handgun drops out of his hand as he collapses forward.
Two, the handgun discharges, its errant round neatly piercing your friends foot from toe to heel. He drops to the ground with a scream of pain.
Three, a hand grenade pops round the corner. Friendly fire is obviously not an issue with these people.
Four, a rainbow monkey begins to proclaim the glories of Democracy before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Probably. Not really. You forget where you bought this stuff but man is it powerful.

What do you do?

Wounded:
Left arm (bandaged) (scabbed over)

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
Even more stained but still sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (12:24)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Backpack (5 clips - Thompson) (Rations - unAmerican (4))
Water bottle (full)
Thompson (average) (30/3)

Wielding:
Wielding - Babe Ruthless (both hands) (PATRIOTIC) (proficient) (bayonet)

Mental State:
Oh man that came so close that came so close.

Hey, what year is it again? And who is that OH MY GOD HIS FOOT.
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Jopax

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #250 on: May 05, 2010, 06:31:53 am »
I have a strong deja vu feeling
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Lidhuin

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #251 on: May 05, 2010, 09:14:02 am »
Damn columnists!

Repeat patriotic scream, as we tactically advance backwards, away from the grenade, seeking cover.

Use backpack to shield our sensible face against the columnist hand grenade threat.

They must be from NY times.
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GlyphGryph

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #252 on: May 05, 2010, 10:39:35 am »
No time to pick it up, no time to run. Best course for maximizing distance between us and blast?

KICK THE GRENADE!
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Diablous

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #253 on: May 05, 2010, 03:03:33 pm »
Quote from: GlyphGryph on May 05, 2010, 10:39:35 am
No time to pick it up, no time to run. Best course for maximizing distance between us and blast?

KICK THE GRENADE!

DO EET!
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Quote from: Solifuge
A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #254 on: May 05, 2010, 03:57:47 pm »
You kick the grenade away. This is the second best plan you can come up with!

It works quite well. The grenade goes flying away from you, out the door, into the open parking lot. You then run.

BABOOM! The grenade explodes and shrapnel slices through the air. You're behind a wall at this point and suffer no damage. Desert Eagle man, however, has been severely wounded by a nasty case of "four inch long foreign object lodged in shoulder" syndrome. Or maybe it's a virus? You can't remember. He's unconscious, anyway. From outside, you hear screaming. It looks like you hit at least one bad guy.

What do you do?

Wounded:
Left arm (bandaged) (scabbed over)

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
Even more stained but still sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (12:24)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Backpack (5 clips - Thompson) (Rations - unAmerican (4))
Water bottle (full)
Thompson (average) (30/3)

Wielding:
Wielding - Babe Ruthless (both hands) (PATRIOTIC) (proficient) (bayonet)

Mental State:
[You proceed to examine in great detail the wallpaper used here. It's rather boring.]
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