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Author Topic: America Prevails  (Read 25758 times)

Karnewarrior

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #255 on: May 05, 2010, 04:03:52 pm »
Conduct surgery while reciting what you can remember of the AMURICAN hypocraitic oath.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2010, 04:19:45 pm by Karnewarrior »
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Diablous

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #256 on: May 05, 2010, 04:04:14 pm »
Quote from: Karnewarrior on May 05, 2010, 04:03:52 pm
Conduct surgery while reciting what you can remember of the AMURICAN hypocratic oath.

This.
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Quote from: Solifuge
A catgirl, whom oft it would please
To dine on a pizza, with cheese,
Thought it was quite fine
To be partly feline,
Excepting the hairballs and fleas.

Labs

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #257 on: May 05, 2010, 04:16:00 pm »
Grab him and run out the back door of FREEDOM.
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Quote from: Girlinhat on November 15, 2012, 11:53:44 am
I like to slip into bear caves around midnight and gently caress the carnivore inside before leaving a small cut of fresh fish and sneaking out.

Faden

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #258 on: May 05, 2010, 04:40:38 pm »
Quote from: Labs on May 05, 2010, 04:16:00 pm
Grab him and run out the back door of FREEDOM.
FREEDOM
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Urist McOverlord

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #259 on: May 05, 2010, 07:02:34 pm »
and JUSTICE!
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Magma: The cause of, and solution to, all life's problems.

Quote from: silverskull39 on March 25, 2010, 07:29:31 pm
If it moves, it wants to kill you. It may not try to, but it wants to.

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #260 on: May 07, 2010, 06:27:43 am »
You JUDICIOUSLY WHIP OUT Babe Ruthless. Judiciously, like the JUDICIAL SYSTEM OF AMERICA. But you digress, even though you're not sure what that means. You proceed to cut into Desert Eagle Man's shoulder in an effort to extract the shrapnel, which isn't that big but you know, from basic medical training (which you've picked up from drive in Hammer-Horror movies) that it's still a nasty wound. You cut around it, biting into the flesh, scraping against bone.

"I will cut things because I am America."

A small amount of blood dribbles out, then spurts out, strongly, getting you rather covered in blood, before subsiding to a dribble.

"I have the authority to do this because I am America."

You quickly dig the metal out. Okay, no, this is bad, there is blood all over the damn place.

"I am America and also first aid and hippos and things."

All over the place, oh no, you have no idea what you're doing, this is oh no.

"And so can you."

Desert Eagle Man has died from shock, lacerations and blood loss. But at least you are an African water dwelling mammal with huge teeth! You grab the body and drag it back, further into the bank. It looks like the door to the area behind the teller's windows is open, and the people outside appear to be mustering for another assault. You have a bit of time.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
Sensible pants, stained with blood and secretion
Blood stained sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (12:28)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Backpack (5 clips - Thompson) (Rations - unAmerican (4))
Water bottle (full)
Thompson (average) (30/3)

Wielding:
Wielding - Babe Ruthless (both hands) (PATRIOTIC) (proficient) (bayonet) (covered in blood)

Mental State:
Oh God, I just killed this guy, oh God oh Jesus oh fuck.

[The Valium(?) goes some way to dulling the shock of the moment. Be warned - killing an ally will have profound psychological effects.]
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Karnewarrior

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #261 on: May 07, 2010, 06:31:41 am »
Should have used those pants of sensiblity to use as bandages. :-[
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Acanthus117

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #262 on: May 07, 2010, 06:56:38 am »
This has turned from a romp into insanity into nightmare fuel. Awesome.
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Is apparently a Lizardman. ಠ_ಠ
Quote from: Janet on June 20, 2010, 10:44:26 pm
YOU DOUBLE PENIS
"The pessimist is either always right or pleasantly surprised; he cherishes that which is good because he knows it cannot last."

Canalan

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #263 on: May 07, 2010, 01:29:31 pm »
Grab the Desert Eagle(s?) and the ammunition of AMERICA. Also take all his other stuff.
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maxicaxi

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #264 on: May 07, 2010, 01:37:44 pm »
Quote from: Canalan on May 07, 2010, 01:29:31 pm
Grab the Desert Eagle(s?) and the ammunition of AMERICA. Also take all his other stuff.

bolded for awesome also thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis
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Quote from: Mormota on August 11, 2011, 03:50:44 pm
I have absolutely no idea what's going on in this fort any more. Migrants arrive, they die for some reason, the fort is flooded for another reason, then dwarves go mad, more dwarves die and I'm just laughing in my distress.
you cannot defeat the potato.

Faden

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #265 on: May 07, 2010, 01:37:56 pm »
Rewind and don't try surgery!
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The Architect

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #266 on: May 07, 2010, 02:05:13 pm »
Quote from: Faden on May 07, 2010, 01:37:56 pm
Rewind and don't try surgery!

No offense, but rewinding on every mistake is lame.

People asked to do impromptu surgery while poorly equipped, underprepared, uneducated on the subject, and high to boot.
Consequences.
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Quote from: vogonpoet on March 26, 2010, 08:32:49 am
Dwarf Fortress: where blunders never cease.
The sigs topic:
Quote from: Cheddarius on February 16, 2010, 10:33:20 pm
Oh man, this is truly sigworthy...
Quote from: Cheddarius on February 16, 2010, 10:33:20 pm
Oh man. This is truly sig-worthy.

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #267 on: May 07, 2010, 03:28:28 pm »
Feel free to rewind once we're done, but please don't interrupt the viewing pleasure of others.
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tehstefan

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #268 on: May 07, 2010, 03:32:14 pm »
That was a really bad idea, if your wondering. In any case, loot the body, and see if we can bury him. Though I don't know if we have time.
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Quote from: Rezan on September 19, 2009, 09:16:54 am
I suspect you've never tried doing many illegal things yet in your game. The second the CCS knows you're "active", they'll come down on you like the hammer of God.

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #269 on: May 07, 2010, 04:08:42 pm »
You quickly shoulder Babe Ruthless and grab the man's Desert Eagle. Goodbye, strange soldier. The Cacophanists will pay for what they did to you. You quickly switch on the safety, eject the maga-cartridge-whatever and clear the chamber, before reloading the almost full cartridge; you have maybe 8 shots left. You deduce this means that the gun has .357 ammunition. Lovely.

Gun safety is everyone's business.

You then strip the man of his ammo pouch and sling it around your waist. Looks like maybe ten extra clips-cartridges-you can never remember in there. You also quickly open your backpack and his, upend your stuff into it, attach Babe Ruthless to it and put it on. Goodbye, COMMIPACK.

Exits are to the south, which leads out, and to the east, which leads further into the bank. Two small demons and a man just bounded round the corner (although in the man's case he limped). The man is wielding a K98 and looks ready to use it. You curse as you realize you didn't have the time to put the kevlar vest on.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
Sensible pants, stained with blood and secretion
Blood stained sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (12:28)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Backpack (5 clips - Thompson) (Rations - unAmerican (4))
Water bottle (full)
Thompson (average) (30/3)
Babe Ruthless (PATRIOTIC) (proficient) (bayonet) (covered in blood)



Wielding:
Wielding - Desert Eagle (slightly better than average) (both hands) (BULLETS ARE PATRIOTIC) (8/10)

Mental State (subconscious mind):
desert eagle bleeding man rifle gunshot shot-shot it was looking right at me
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