I had a wall of text (spoilered, of course), but before I could submit it, I accidentally clicked on a link, and was too late to stop it, and lost it all.
(rage like you wouldn't believe. I had written so much.)
I'll summarize what I had in mind (as best as I could; considering what I had previously, it was for the better). Excuse me if it sounds too much like a whine-fest.
I wanted to make games for as far back as I can remember. Since it didn't work out (due to a lack of math skill; specifically, Trigonometry and Pre-Calculus) I decided to take on Graphic Design. I got an AS (Associate of Science) Degree in the field, but can never find a job in the field. So, In regards to finding work, I pretty much use the catch phrase "Fuck it." and go with whatever I can get.
In matters of love; it's a damn-impossible feat that I'm famous for failure in. Regardless how many connections I had, how much I studied people, asked for help, and so on; I got nothing but crap from everybody, ranging from straw feminists wanting to make a leather necklace out of my family jewels, to happy couples giving me the most cliche bullshit I have ever heard (I don't work that way). Even my family has been useless in helping me out. None of my sisters, not even my mother, were willing to give me better advice about women (being women themselves; and we're related, and they still won't give me help.); I mean, the best they gave me was the same cliche crap. And even one of my brothers, lucky bastard, managed to be happily married to someone; no help from him either. ...Yeah.
What also didn't help was that regardless how much I explained my research, situations, past (to explain why I decided to research and such in the first place) and etc., everyone has called me a bitter person that wants to get laid above anything else. I just wanted companionship, a very close friend that's not male. Is that so hard to ask? Plus, when you consider the reactions of those very same people who called me such; look who's talking. Always cracks me up whenever I see people do that.
So I have come to a conclusion, I have no goal, no direction, no meaning to life. I'm stuck in the middle of the woods, and I like it that way. Because the woods is the only way I can see a clear path. Okay, so I quoted Firefly a tad. At least I accepted my position in life, and have decided, if the world is to end, let it end. I have nothing to gain, nor lose from it. I await the Apocalypse with a bottle of booze and maybe a stash; I'm here to stay and watch the fireworks. My goal is apparently to spend my life in Purgatory. It's no Heaven, but it's no Hell either. At least I envisioned it as something I can deal with that isn't a paradise, nor absolute torture.
I don't ask for any pity, nor help anymore; I know I'll never see any of either anyway. I've accepted and moved on with my life; despite it going nowhere... nor moving at all. At least I have enough dignity in life to be mostly on my own as old as I am. At least that much is enough to satisfy me.
Kinda wish things would move however, or some miracle happens. Oh well...
Whatever happens, happens. The past is passed; and the Future, few tour.
EDIT:
I guess a more proper, and less "emo-ey" goal for me would be; learn as much as I can. Become the closest thing to a human Swiss-Army Knife as I can get. The world ever ends, I'll be prepared for it one way or another. Whether I am alone or not, successful or not, in the future; I'll be ready for anything that comes my way.
Considering how much I know and learned and everything, that seems to make the most sense. Just because I lack ambition, doesn't mean I don't have the will to do anything. If anything, I gain more and more abilities due to enough free time and boredom. Next year, I'll learn Japanese for the hell of it. My mind is like a gypsy. It always wanders.