Met a leaver from my old school in a job interview today, and their frank advice has fucked me up proper. Can't believe it, I am trembling slightly with the weight of the decision. I honestly think I'm going to turn down three good job offers with salaries I have no right of refusing to instead try get a job teaching English in China for a salary which will cover upkeep. All of my friends and family are divided on the issue, the majority are against it but sympathetic nonetheless, a not insignificant number are against it in totality. The one person I trust entirely I haven't been able to contact for two weeks, and I don't know where they are. I have to trust in my own judgement that I know what I am pursuing, and when your judgement goes against the advice of everyone you have absolute faith in, the pressure hurts. I know if I met someone like myself I would advise them to take the path of economic security first and pursue all else later, and to have such a confidence in myself goes against my own view that I am not a person who refuses job offers, or can refuse them. Most can't fathom why I'd try so hard to get to this phase just to reject the offers on the assumption that I will be able to find good employment later. My own conscience accuses me of madness or arrogance. The advice I received however was to be confident, and not make the mistake of letting yourself be forced into taking the first offer you get, which in my case has been aided by the added pressure of a particularly aggressive recruiter, and naturally intense family politick. The advice cuts deep with its biting accuracy. What_am_I_doing?