But then if I shave my head will I be able to get a job? I mean, not that being top-bald in one's 20s would help in that department either.
I'm starting to wonder if any of the hair loss products actually work. Because I've heard that male pattern baldness has even less treatment options than cancer.
There are things that aren't even hair loss products that have been found to work. This one anti-dandruff shampoo (any one that contains Ketoconozole) was
found in clinical trials to slow/prevent hairloss, and the stuff isn't even marketed as doing that, so it's not a marketing thing. But if your hair is far gone this isn't going to be effective: Ketoconozole and e.g Minoxidil/Rogaine work to increase existing hair health. So if your hair is starting to thin a little: changing shampoo and perhaps using Minoxidil could reduce the rate of thinning and let new hair growth keep pace with losses. But if you've got actually completely bald patches you're in unexplored territory. Finasteride is the heavy duty treatment, and the list of side effects sounds like the monster from a horror movie.
The reason I think treatments for complete baldness don't work is that by that time the skin on your head is no different to the skin on e.g. your hand. You've already lost the hair follicles for thick hair from that region, so no amount of chemicals is going to magically make your head grow new follicles there. Perhaps if they had this stuff where you rub it on
any bodypart and it becomes hairy - now that would cure baldness, but come with all sorts of warnings.