@Shook
FindIng a reason that drowns out all else gives you tons of motivation.
As a fellow person who draws, just... have a goal and something to make that goal important. I've never done anything from sitting down and trying to just draw 'something'.
Aye, can also confirm, but the thing is that the "something" i referred to there was just a catch-all term for the idea that i have at the time. What also bothers me is that when i was a wee laddie, i was perfectly capable of filling out an A4 page with doodles, obviously of lesser quality compared to today, but i
didn't have that anxiety. Granted, i didn't have lewd or (as many) violent ideas back then, but even without considering those, it's still an awful lot harder to just draw whatever dumb thing that comes to mind today, which is frustrating as hell when i'm actually able to draw them decently now.
As for finding a reason, you're totally right about that, but alas, my brain also finds plenty of reasons to NOT do things. It almost always involves a very conscious thought and action to begin drawing, unlike gaming, which is just kind of something that happens. Sometimes i'm in good mood and feel like punching anxiety in the face, other times i fall into the "nah tomorrow is the day" loop, which we all know and love.
*hugs Shook*
I feel like a broken record, but if you're not talking to somebody, you should try talking to somebody. That sounds like something you need to work through/out.
<3
I have talked to my immediate relatives and more than one therapist (... two in total), and while it is good to know that people are aware of the issue and would help me if asked (fun fact: asking for help makes me anxious), i've learned enough from these talks to know that it is ultimately my own fight. Me going to folk high school is actually an important step here, because not only do i get in contact with yet another entirely new bunch of people, i get to do it completely outside of the safety bubble of my nearby home, and for once, my hobbies are actually relevant. Will it be nervewracking? Oh hell yes, but it's hopefully going to be worth it.
also my bedroom is way too warm arblgarbl