Sometimes parents say things that don't follow what is readily what we want to hear--this may be because they're not that knowledgeable in that field that we expect to be comforted in (coincidentally, that may also follow understanding and empathizing within one's concerns and utter sadness in meeting those concerns; superficial comments tend to be taken much deeper from those we see in authority, and especially those we care about and are close to us--rather than adhere to those comments, put them aside because they "weren't the best advice, in this certain time"). Your concerns are valid, and comparison to others 'because there are plenty of others having it worse off' does not help at all, because it does not orient anyone towards facing their problems, but it compares on a
very vague level. Saying this myself because I've got those kinds of things from my mom (and...worse things ._.); the fact that they love you doesn't mean that they can make mistakes that they are unaware of, especially if they keep repeating it because they probably don't see any reaction otherwise [It may help to tell them simply "This concern matters to me, and I'd not like to be compared to others that way." but that's for later on]
Next is the matter of 'what other people say'. Sometimes what they say may be taken very, very literally that we can't see any insight in what they're saying at all; in these times, we follow the process of attribution--connecting what we perceive, to what other concepts will happen in the future. Sometimes it's best to think of it like "what do they
mean to say" [and then probably ask 'what do you mean ._.?'] because by personal reasoning, what we think about it doesn't end up in a helpful conclusion, so either branching out from initial reasoning or asking them for deeper insight can help.
Either way, all our PM boxes are open. Please do not commit yourself to drastic measures because of what others may have said to you that lowers your regard for yourself. You are as important as anyone else here--suicide can be acknowledged and thought about, but never seen as something to act upon, because from that it may become the major locus of thought when you're in a very sad or desperate mood
because it begins to be seen as a possibility to act upon, as it takes up
most of the focus of your mental eye (or your thoughts) because it is an
ultimatum, or a superlative. Do not call yourself anything negative either for
not having done such a thing, because that acts as a rebounding or cyclical mindset that 'this big thing here is...something I
should do'. It's a culmination along a continuum of negative thoughts, or thoughts coming from concepts that lower your own perception of yourself, or your actions (when your actions are at times not wrong or bad at all, they're just seen bad because of comparisons to 'better' things; there's a better way to work with this, even if it is by comparison, and it isn't by holding yourself at that point and perspective).
It is wrong to term it as laziness, because we all have an innate drive to live; this drive is called by many ways, some say it is self-preservation, others call it inner potential, but the key fact is that it is not right to call yourself anything demeaning
from not causing harm to yourself because of
external issues. It is a strength to choose for the better.
It may just feel not like a strength because of current moods. That doesn't detract from it though.
Author
Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9757374 times)