Gods save me from people that can't seem to muster the effort to pay any attention to what they say. Buncha' people around me right now trying to help each other and just managing to piss each other off because they apparently can't bring themselves to phrase things so it's
not viewed as an attack by other parties. Is... is basic tone control and even mildly considered word choice really that hard?
Like. No, you don't say, "You need to do X (right now)", not when you're dealing with a(n equally) competent adult (or anyone, really, but that's a different subject), you say, "Hey, have you remembered to X?" or "Can I help you X, or do you have it alright?" Stuff like that; support, cooperation, concern,
not imperatives and dominant phrasing. And for the non-existent gods sakes, even if you
are annoyed don't let the freaking annoyance
come through the voice. It never helps! Tone shift, moderate volume (which, okay, I understand that's difficult for some of the ones in question, because they refuse to use the hearing aids they have and badly need), just... make sure you're not coming off as aggressive or angry, because all that does it make people defensive and also angry, nobody ends up happy, and all too often no one ends up better in the end even though the intent was to give (often badly needed!) aid to friends and family. And coming off as aggressive and/or angry is like 75% or better just tone of voice and choice of word (the rest is posture and mannerisms).
the percentages are asspulled, of course, but the point conveysAnd the biggest bastard of all of it is trying to communicate that sort of thing to people convinced they don't have trouble with it and that the problem is entirely due to the other parties involved. S'like... no, when both parties involved are pissed off largely due how the other is talking to them, we have what is called a mutual problem