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[Amperzand]

Sans? As in Comic Sans? I'm pretty sure I speak in that font in such situations, that's actually quite accurate.

Yep.

[chaotic skies]

Yep, that's what I like to call him. His brother papyrus though? He doesn't like the puns.

[Xantalos]

Spoiler: Xantalos Girl Issues Episode 459,786 (click to show/hide)

Yep, this again.
Ended up going out for drinks with ... I'll call her X so I can use a word other than 'her'. Went out for drinks with X, a mutual friend of ours who neither of us have seen for a while, and a few of his friends. I'm too large for alcohol to really affect me super much, so I didn't end up doing anything stupid. I'm fairly sure I did stare at X the entire night, but that was about the extent of my dumbassery. It was a good time.

Afterwards as we were walking home we ended up talking about her relationship troubles, which are unfortunately still extant. She and her boyfriend have slowly been drifting apart evidently, and they're probably gonna split up sometime in the next half year or so. Or so she thinks at the moment, things may change between them. Of course this means the guy she became attracted to a little while back (ill call him B) is pushing for them to break up sooner because he wants to be with her, and she's unsure how to feel about either of them because it's obviously a rather muddled scenario and she's in school at the moment, which makes the whole thing more stressful on top of that.

Even discounting my feelings towards her and my propensity to see B as competition, that whole attitude he's espousing really gets under my skin. You approached her, dude, you have to wait for her to decide what she wants to do. Pressuring her like that - I wouldn't call it guilt-tripping but it speaks of obligation-like logic - 'I've felt this way about you for this long so you should be with me'. That's ... ergh. Doesn't sit well with me, and not only because I've been in love with X for twice as long as B's even known her - fucker's said he's grateful he stuck around this long, boy get on my level - it just ... it's too self-cantered a stance for a relationship, I think.

But there's opportunity for me. I feel slightly guilty about it, but since at the moment X doesn't know how I feel about her, we're just close friends. The possibility of more's been halfway hinted at a few times, vaguely. If I can time when I tell X correctly, and if B keeps on his current slightly self-oriented course, I may be able to shove B out of the way and end up with X at some point in the future.

I don't feel too guilty about planning this though, because it doesn't involve any emotional manipulation or anything, just presenting a better alternative.

This is just going in the sad thread because while there's no real sadness in it, the whole thing kinda boils down to a nervous anticipation. If this works I'll have successfully overcome a roadblock I've been stuck on for near a year and a half now, after all.
If it works out.
I really hope it works out.

[Kot]

Kill me
or not
I literally can't think today
why

[chaotic skies]

Did you buy a bad batch of drugs?

[MaximumZero]

I do that from time to time, but no drugs are involved. Post concussion syndrome, yo.

[Kot]

It's post-girl syndrome and I am literally mad at myself for even thinking like
ugh

[chaotic skies]

Ah. That. The only thing that I've found for that tends to be unhealthy amounts of food, and withdrawing from society to do something you enjoy.

[Orange Wizard]

Ah. That. The only thing that I've found for that tends to be unhealthy amounts of food, and withdrawing from society to do something you enjoy.

This is no different from my everyday life

[Jopax]

Pulling another all nighter because I'm an idiot who can't manage time. Have a god damn deadline for tommorrow and I think I'm halfway done with this piece, I'm not sure, the more I look at it the more I hate it.

[chaotic skies]

Reminds me of the time I was up all night, chugging coffee and frantically typing out a ten-page play 

[itisnotlogical]

It occurs to me that this is exactly the same February that I had last year, and the year before that.

This winter was an awesome one full of romantic success, financial well-doing and academic achievement. Then, in February, I find myself recently single (after I'd been planning a special Valentine's Day for weeks). A lot of things that aren't my problem have suddenly become my problem in a major way, from my sister's car trouble to my mother's mommy issues. All things that sucked about 2015 and 2014, exactly this time of year. I'm out of control headed to an uncertain future. No matter what I do it never seems to be enough. More and more, the options seem to be "accept inevitability and quit while there's still time" or "fight inevitability and post in the sad thread this time next year"

[Insanegame27]

Generic Valentines Day related sad here.


My crush thinks I'm just a little too close for comfort when I haven't even been making advances on her. God damnit.

I feel exactly like I've been put into Franz Ferdinand's 'No you Girls' and 'Take Me Out' songs.

[Trapezohedron]

Spoiler: Valentines: A Reflection of Self-disgust and Seeming Incapability (click to show/hide)

Well... to keep shit short, I've found myself really wanting someone to, y'know, just hug and confide into, while knowing that I care enough about them I'd be risking myself for their own existence, and they, with me.

But it's increasingly becoming an impossibility. I don't know if you guys still have kept track, but I don't really have the smoothest of histories IRL. I'm likely to face more problems concerning my relation to a particular person and their involvement in something I already discussed here before, but which I won't elaborate further except that it involved a pyramid scam and a scapegoat (my family).

I might lose certain rights should the headwinds blow a certain way towards this situation, most alarming of which involves the bank, or rather, the incapability of opening an account under MY name, and therefore some issues with getting certain papers to perhaps go abroad should things come to it.

But where does Valentines fit in? Well, in spite of my enforced celibacy, I've found myself increasingly lusting others in that way and becoming more perverted outwardly. Hell, I make perverted metaphors in normal conversations. I just wanna f**k, but man, that does make me feel a whole lot disgusted about myself, with thinking non-committal, "beneficial" relationships might be able to answer my problems, etc.

TL;DR, due to circumstances, will not get GF. In spite of said rule i imposed on myself, due to abstinence of some particular thing, the desire for what i forbade myself is growing stronger to the point i make perverted remarks and be an idiotic goof outside in real life. It disgusts me.

[Kot]

I would want to talk with anyone, literally anyone, simply to stop myself from wanting to write to her due to all the Valentine's bullshit, but I literally don't have anyone I could. Some people still hate me, others are... tolerant, but talking to them (especially about this) will only cause trouble, especially since I could literally randomly punch people now, and basically nobody else. And yeah, you guys are cool but that's not what I'm looking for, even if I'm literally doing it right now. Just, ugh... I sometimes wish that world should get stuck in endless loop 97 days ago. Or something.