she loved me so much and I want her back.
Reminds me of when we lost my grandmother--being adopted here, it was an even greater blow to me. She made me feel like family a ton before I realized that it was the same thing all around, just that it was 'more evident' with her, among many
many others.
Crying about it is ok. Wishing for her back is also ok. What's not ok is to leave that wish as if its an anchor in you, as it'd...(mmph, what's the word >_<), corrode(?) your feelings from the inside.
Here in the Philippines, we (generally) believe that we can honor and further a deceased person we love by acting and emulating, following and understanding what they did, for others--especially those who meant well to them. Spiritually, its a sentimental note to them saying 'hey {loved one}, I miss you. But this is what you taught me and...thanks so much.'
Mutual benevolence and such.
Still, *much hugs to you*. It's not a thing to move on 'quick' or 'easy' or any of those strange adjectives which seem misplaced in these contexts, but in the long-run of things, they've done good--and that's what matters. The memories matter as much as the acts, in this place.
She's gone in the physical, yeah. But she's not really truly gone as a whole--she lives on in your memories, and thoughts are a myriad blessing on how they come, if from a loving and good source.
...Technically, that's a coping mechanism, but that technically (when I asked to my grandfather before he..followed in turn..) was usually handwaved as being 'too different to translate into Tagalog', or rather 'it doesn't catch the idea. "Coping" doesn't feel in the right place'. It's like something better ._.
I have kind of just given up on everything in my life...
Also I have started collapsing in a depressed heap when I try to do things.
Kaladin cancels close curtains, depressed
Kaladin has slipped into depression
Don't give up, mate. The end of the line is when
you start giving up on things, yourself. It's always an intangible line until your choice is made. (Meaning: It's never a permanent choice unless a permanent action is made
which is something I'm not suggesting.)
Excuse my messy wording back there though. Sickness does my semantics no good. Though don't give up--we aren't giving up in believing you can do these things and support yourself. There are people over there who can help, and are capable of helping, but reach out to them and talk to them is my best note here ._. Depression is very well lessened when in good company.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9756376 times)