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[IronTomato]

An emergency alert jut went off on everyone's phones because flood warning. One of the phones doesn't stop vibrating. Lazy ass brother tells me to find it, even though he's just sitting around, having been making noise while I was actually doing something.

I can hear it around where he's standing, but I can't pinpoint where it is. It's extremely quiet and muffled. Dad had left his work pants laying around with his phone left in them.

Brother: "Jesus Christ, it's in these jeans, [Iron]"

I get extremely irritated.

IronTomato: "If it was so easy to find, then why did you call me out here to find it for-"
Brother: "Pfft, if it was so easy, why couldn't YOU find it? Huh?"

Rage-induced adrenaline kicks in, as per the usual routine, hands start shaking.

IronTomato: "Why are you-"
Brother: "OKAY."
IronTomato: "Don't interrupt me and say 'OKAY' like you don't have to-"
Brother: "OKAY."
IronTomato: "You just did exactly what I asked you not to, again."
Brother: "Shut up, it's over and done with!"

I am starting to question if I would end up regretting it if I broke his skull on a countertop. Nearly evall the stupid shit he says in arguments are things that me or Mom say to him while we are attempting to make him mind. A good example is that wonderful line there. "I just did something hurtful to my brother? That was like ten seconds ago, and since I don't care, it's over and done with! God, why can't he just understand?"

He said that last part too, the thing about me supposedly not understanding. It was a time when I was laying in MY room, and he seemed to think it wasn't a big deal to lay on MY bed with me and do his usual stuff. I insisted that he either leave, shut the hell up, or apologise. He gets needlessly hostile, and just like always, he magically forgot that he was being a dick, and the only thing that mattered was the hurtful things I had just said to him. A welcome strategy to trick yourself into thinking that you're the victim.

He asked me to leave my own room. This infuriated me, and for the first time ina long time, I could barely do anything but scream at him in rage, hoping something would come out of my mouth that would make him at least realise that I don't deserve his shit. He begins seathing, and says something under his breath about me being lucky he didn't punch me in the face.

Boy, if I remember correctly, you HAVE punched me in the face, because I just wouldn't shut up and stop being a big fat meany, trying to make you feel bad. In a later argument, I lost it and punched YOU in the face, which was a surprising twist. "GAWH, I can't BELIEVE you just PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!" and guess what, asshole, mine was actually JUSTIFIED, surprise surprise. But it's not like you deserve to feel the same shit you do to me, right?

Does frequently having daydreams about murdering your "twin" qualify as mental instability? If so, then I'm afraid he has, quite literally, driven me to the point of insanity. Congratulations, assfuck.

[Worldmaster27]

Worldmaster's Hitlist

• Punch Cmega's mom
• Kidnap Cmega
• Be incredibly annoying to IT's brother and always use his own excuses against him, and then slap some sense into him. Repeatedly
• Punch Cmega's mom again
• Punch Cmega's mom again

Sorry Cmega, your mom has been demoted.
I don't have any advice for you, unfortunately. Other than that murder shouldn't be your go-to way of dealing with him...
Have you tried getting anyone he respects to talk to him about it? Because he might listen to them. But I dunno 

[BadLemonsXI]

I don't have any advice for you, unfortunately. Other than that murder shouldn't be your go-to way of dealing with him...

Yer death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 

[Orange Wizard]

What about BlackFlyme's parents, mastahcheese's coworkers (I think), and all the other recurring problem-people? Some of them definitely deserve a good punching.
I wonder how busy MZ is these days.

Anyway, in all seriousness, people like that are not going to learn by having their follies explained to them. They are also not going to learn when you argue with them - clearly rationalism isn't one of this guy's strong points.

From first-hand experience I've learned that the best teaching method begins by kicking them in the teeth. Then you tell them they're being an arse, and to stop being an arse. Then you forcibly remove them from your general vicinity.
If they return, be friendly and welcoming. If they start being an arse again, rinse and repeat.
Eventually, if you're very, very lucky, they might just get the hint.

Spoiler: II's Ten Commandments of Dealing with Arseholes (click to show/hide)

Do not greet them expecting arseholery, for that will result in arseholery from both sides.
Be kind to arseholes - love the sinner, hate the sin.
Do not repay arseholery with arseholery, for that is folly, and the cycle will perpetuate further.
Do not be an arsehole and expect others to be nice, for this is hypocrisy of the highest degree.
Do not tolerate arseholery. Do not become apathetic to arseholery. Do not hesitate to rebuke arseholery.
Arseholery need not be repaid with violence, but arseholery must be repaid with measures that guarantee it will desist.
If you are an arsehole, apologise.
Do not expect apologies from arseholes, but expect that the arseholery cease.

[MaximumZero]

Unfortunately, I'm pretty busy. Work full time, preggo wife, house, kid, etc. Barely enough time for DF, let alone travel.

[BadLemonsXI]

Spoiler: II's Ten Commandments of Dealing with Arseholes (click to show/hide)

Do not greet them expecting arseholery, for that will result in arseholery from both sides.
Be kind to arseholes - love the sinner, hate the sin.
Do not repay arseholery with arseholery, for that is folly, and the cycle will perpetuate further.
Do not be an arsehole and expect others to be nice, for this is hypocrisy of the highest degree.
Do not tolerate arseholery. Do not become apathetic to arseholery. Do not hesitate to rebuke arseholery.
Arseholery need not be repaid with violence, but arseholery must be repaid with measures that guarantee it will desist.
If you are an arsehole, apologise.
Do not expect apologies from arseholes, but expect that the arseholery cease.

The beard is no lie for this one is wise.

[Yoink]

Yer death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Exactly- you won't have the same problem ever again!

[Gentlefish]

anyone he respects

I suspect this may be the problem.

[Tiruin]

-snip-

-suggested list snip-

Guys, focus not on anger--that doesn't solve anything in the long run.
At all.
Also @IT: Did you refer your brother for help (or parental advice for help on his case?), because he's got a real skewed perception there.

[IronTomato]

-snip-

-suggested list snip-

Guys, focus not on anger--that doesn't solve anything in the long run.
At all.
Also @IT: Did you refer your brother for help (or parental advice for help on his case?), because he's got a real skewed perception there.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm not sure I know what you mean there, but I have had quite a few instances where Mom tried to help me get through to him, but he still doesn't consistently listen to anyone exceot for my father. Even then, it seems like he listens to our father at first, but then he just returns to his usual self aftarwards.

When you think about it, pretty much everything he does revolves around the fact that he never actually seems to want to change how he acts in order to make the people around him less irritated. But it's strange, because even though he's still a big dick when he's at school, he doesn't act like he does when he's at home. He seems to be happy with himself as long as his friends don't know about it. But when I tried to tell one of his friends about it, rather than stop out of pure shame like anyone else would, he told the person that I had lied, and later lit me up for allegedly badmouthing him to his friends.

Is there someone who knows more about brain stuff than me, who knows what could cause something like that?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Narcissistic personality disorder.

[DJ]

Just stop holding back and punch him (not in the face, though). It's a time honored method for dealing with annoying siblings.

[Tiruin]

-snip-

-suggested list snip-

Guys, focus not on anger--that doesn't solve anything in the long run.
At all.
Also @IT: Did you refer your brother for help (or parental advice for help on his case?), because he's got a real skewed perception there.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm not sure I know what you mean there, but I have had quite a few instances where Mom tried to help me get through to him, but he still doesn't consistently listen to anyone exceot for my father. Even then, it seems like he listens to our father at first, but then he just returns to his usual self aftarwards.

When you think about it, pretty much everything he does revolves around the fact that he never actually seems to want to change how he acts in order to make the people around him less irritated. But it's strange, because even though he's still a big dick when he's at school, he doesn't act like he does when he's at home. He seems to be happy with himself as long as his friends don't know about it. But when I tried to tell one of his friends about it, rather than stop out of pure shame like anyone else would, he told the person that I had lied, and later lit me up for allegedly badmouthing him to his friends.

Is there someone who knows more about brain stuff than me, who knows what could cause something like that?

What I'm getting is, that 'jerky' reaction is more like a self-defense mechanism when there's some kind of anger towards him. Check the past. Any events which gave a certain perception about the self and all?
It's very hard to talk about these things through text, meaning in cases such as these (talk to a professional there is what I'm sayin', due to the TONS of context which aren't...mentioned here. :3)

We can only judge by the text that is given and in some cases, it excludes a ton of context.
^{Like...err, the idea of respect. Why is there an emphasis on 'badmouthing'? Is the question of 'Do you not know what you're doing' asked onto him? Things like asking the person questions which seem blatantly obvious to you works at times.}

Just stop holding back and punch him (not in the face, though). It's a time honored method for dealing with annoying siblings.

No. :I

[TD1]

Eh.

Hitting him would probably work, as long as he didn't hit back. Which no doubt he would. Then, he knows he can hit you, and that when he deems you annoying it's especially okay to do so.

[Tiruin]

Knowing the situation, hitting won't help.

...
Hitting won't help. Period.