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[Parsely]

FFT story is fantastic. Still not good enough to actually complete it though. :p

[Hanslanda]

Hans, I'm kinda concerned. You seem to cycle between being depressed, having your worries proven wrong, making you extremely happy, then something happening that tears you back down into depression. And I can't help because I have no idea what is the actual problem, and I'm not sure I could even if I did D:.

That's exactly what is going on. :/

Guys, I'm really scared. I have to be honest. I almost killed myself a few days ago. I was about three minutes from doing it, but someone texted me. That's all that saved me, was one fucking text. I'm back on hard drugs again. :/ I've started doing pills again, and now I'm not eating or sleeping properly. I'm acting out and engaging in risky behaviors again. Sometimes I just wake up and cry, and sometimes I don't sleep at all. I've eaten maybe two good meals in the last three days, where I usually eat at least twice a day. The only time I feel good is when I'm taking opiates. (As a brief aside: I have never before liked opiates, nor have I ever understood how someone could get CONSUMED by a specific drug. I understand now.)

I am showing WAAAAAY too many of the warning signs of a suicidal person, and I can't be sure that I'm in my right mind enough not to do it.

[TD1]

You need to talk to a RL person about this. You need to get some help. Please, Hans.

[Sirus]

Seriously. We can provide moral support but you have to get some real help. We like you Hans, please don't go hurting yourself.

[scrdest]

Hans, I'm kinda concerned. You seem to cycle between being depressed, having your worries proven wrong, making you extremely happy, then something happening that tears you back down into depression. And I can't help because I have no idea what is the actual problem, and I'm not sure I could even if I did D:.

That's exactly what is going on. :/

Guys, I'm really scared. I have to be honest. I almost killed myself a few days ago. I was about three minutes from doing it, but someone texted me. That's all that saved me, was one fucking text. I'm back on hard drugs again. :/ I've started doing pills again, and now I'm not eating or sleeping properly. I'm acting out and engaging in risky behaviors again. Sometimes I just wake up and cry, and sometimes I don't sleep at all. I've eaten maybe two good meals in the last three days, where I usually eat at least twice a day. The only time I feel good is when I'm taking opiates. (As a brief aside: I have never before liked opiates, nor have I ever understood how someone could get CONSUMED by a specific drug. I understand now.)

I am showing WAAAAAY too many of the warning signs of a suicidal person, and I can't be sure that I'm in my right mind enough not to do it.

What happened? If you don't want to make a post, feel free to PM.

[WillowLuman]

Please, please call someone about this. Right now.

[Hanslanda]

You need to talk to a RL person about this. You need to get some help. Please, Hans.

I am. They're coming over. I don't think they quite understand how I feel, but someone is coming to talk to me, so that's a start, yes? >.>

[Tiruin]

You need to talk to a RL person about this. You need to get some help. Please, Hans.

I am. They're coming over. I don't think they quite understand how I feel, but someone is coming to talk to me, so that's a start, yes? >.>

I wish you well, Hans.

[Mindmaker]

I should be happy after a day-long session of PnP, but all I can think of is that I "wasted" a whole day.
Someday I hope I can stop guild tripping myself.

[Owlga]

I ended up inheriting the laptop from Rozy for the next week or so. Since she's feeling too down to bother staying on. I had some small ideas that might cheer her up thanks to some things I managed to hear in a conversation we just had, but one is beyond my abilities, and I couldn't find the other/actually grab the other properly.

Trying to do my best here but I've already gotten to the point I'm needing to vent again. And there's only so much I can manage to do to get her out of her rut given it doesn't directly involve me.

I almost wish I did actually mess up somewhere. Since then I'd know what to do now.

[Knit tie]

I hope you get better, Hans, and find someone who will keep you happy for a long enough time.

I ended up inheriting the laptop from Rozy for the next week or so. Since she's feeling too down to bother staying on. I had some small ideas that might cheer her up thanks to some things I managed to hear in a conversation we just had, but one is beyond my abilities, and I couldn't find the other/actually grab the other properly.

Trying to do my best here but I've already gotten to the point I'm needing to vent again. And there's only so much I can manage to do to get her out of her rut given it doesn't directly involve me.

I almost wish I did actually mess up somewhere. Since then I'd know what to do now.

I thought Janet was happy with her new job and with life in general. Did something happen while I was gone?

[Owlga]

Well last night her and a very close friend bumped heads kinda hard, and said friend is gonna be away for almost all the week now. She's also kinda been in the middle of a depressive spell and hasn't been able to enjoy much of anything.

I also might of had a nervous breakdown earlier today over being unable to help her for the past... 4 or 6 days or so. And some of my friends being unable to help me either. So I'm pretty sure that's bothering her too.

[Knit tie]

That sounds like a pretty nasty self-reciprocating depression spiral you've got there.

Is there anything you can do to be cheerful yourself? That ought to actually help Janet - seeing you happy.

[Helgoland]

Hans, PM box is open - did you ever see a psychiatrist about that? Seems like a (not-too-strong) bipolar disorder, perhaps made worse by drug use. Opiates are actually quite effective antidepressants, and drug users being people with psychiatric issues who are self-medicating is a known pattern.

[Trapezohedron]

Damn it Hans, get someone IRL to help you, though I'm pretty sure you did already by now. We'd be worried sick if you suddenly stopped making responses in this forum.

Wishing you well as you take care of yourself.