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[Yannanth]

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[scriver]

Sexuality isn't a social construct, binary (and/or trinary) sexuality is

Also "tranny" means "transvestite", doesn't it?

Anywho - Things that made me sad
Wife had a bit of a stress breakdown and took off with the car to drive to Florida. I'll assume she'll be back in four or five days, just need to hope I don't have to drive anywhere before then.

Actually, this is sort of a pre-emptive posting, I probably won't start getting properly sad about it till I wake up alone tomorrow morning.

This is obviously the start of a modern highway adventure and hijinks. Gather your party of hilarious compadres and go after her now! The future of the movie industry depends on you!

[palsch]

'Tranny' is a slang term for transvestite, but usually these days used as a slur against trans* individuals in general. Not a good word to use in general.

And seriously, I've had extended conversations and even friendships where I'm not sure what gender someone identifies with. Either they identified female but were very easy to read, a transvestite rather than transsexual (so identifying male while dressing female) or actually identified as trans* rather than actually male or female. It's not that hard to be gender neutral in conversation, and I can't really think of many situations where it would be a big deal either way.

I also have avoided talking politics with many of my GLBT friends. It's often too hard to avoid depressing subject matter.

[kaijyuu]

I really don't give a damn what people identify with. Humans are humans. Physical differences are irrelevant in 99% of human interaction, and psychological correlations are weak and not a good idea to assume apply to any one person.

I'll call 'em what they want out of courtesy, though. It's a small thing and if they like it, then awesome, I can do something easy to make them happier.

[Yannanth]

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[Truean]

Just wanted to comment on the pronoun thing...

As far as pronouns, everyone but Scriver, Forsaken, Vector and Truean are "its" to me.

Truean is not actually female, though, because she insists on both calling herself female, calling herself gay, and liking guys, which manages to completely and totally fuck me up in the head. As such, she's like an electron cloud of gender in my mind. As such, my pronouns will tend to switch depending on the situation.

Anywho - Things that made me sad
Wife had a bit of a stress breakdown and took off with the car to drive to Florida. I'll assume she'll be back in four or five days, just need to hope I don't have to drive anywhere before then.

Actually, this is sort of a pre-emptive posting, I probably won't start getting properly sad about it till I wake up alone tomorrow morning.

[Shrugs]. I have a complicated situation; I stopped trying to explain. I'm transgender, like only men, and can't practically transition, because people are assholes. You know how many openly transgender attorneys there are in Ohio? 0, because no one hires you after that happens and odds are you get either fired or made so miserable you're all but forced to quit. In jail and facing prison? I know an excellent attorney who can ... yeah they're transgend... ok we'll find another one.

I don't really blame you for being confused. I know exactly what I am, but explaining it to other people is immensely difficult. Try explaining that you're forced to live as a male in everyone's eyes but you're really a girl when you're explaining stories from your life. It's hard. So, I'll say "gay" to shorthand it and make it something people can sort of get.

Thinking way too much about it.

Sexuality is a social construct. Possibly gender too since the rise of the tranny.

There have been lots of transexuals throughout history. Even not counting eunuchs, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender

Meh. Being gender different was a pretty good way to end up in jail for "sodomy" or "buggery." So, it got hidden and that's why people don't know about it.

Also "tranny" means "transvestite", doesn't it?

Practically speaking there isn't a hard definition. It's a blanket term. Trans -vestite, gender, sexual.... whatever really. It's not even necessarily bad, but unfortunately people often use it with bad and harmful intent, so.... It's quickly becoming bad and has been for some time.

'Tranny' is a slang term for transvestite, but usually these days used as a slur against trans* individuals in general. Not a good word to use in general.

And seriously, I've had extended conversations and even friendships where I'm not sure what gender someone identifies with. Either they identified female but were very easy to read, a transvestite rather than transsexual (so identifying male while dressing female) or actually identified as trans* rather than actually male or female. It's not that hard to be gender neutral in conversation, and I can't really think of many situations where it would be a big deal either way.

I also have avoided talking politics with many of my GLBT friends. It's often too hard to avoid depressing subject matter.

I can mostly sign into this, and talking politics with anyone today is risking an emotional argument at best. I've never seen someone talk about mechanics of it. If I said, "I'm considering how HR ##### could potentially effect capital gains taxes and if it would actually effect hiring," most people don't care at best. They will repeat soundbites though. GLBT in the US have a lot to complain about, but at least it's gotten a little better in the recent past.

As for referencing pronouns with a transperson. Might be a good idea to ask discretely. My close friends know me as female, but also know to keep up the charade for my protection when I'm forced to live as a male 90% of the time, sadly. They can pretty readily switch from calling me female pronouns to male if someone comes around in everyday life. They talk to and treat me entirely differently when no one else is around, because it's safer. Some of my girlfriends even pretend to be in romantic relationships with me for cover. Then again, that's my situation and it varies from person to person.

Thanks for putting in the effort though; most don't.

[kaijyuu]

Physical differences are irrelevant in 99% of human interaction, and psychological correlations are weak and not a good idea to assume apply to any one person.

This is the greatest lie I've ever heard. There has always been a correlation between attractiveness and success, as well as the ability to socialise well. It may not apply to you, but it subconsciously applies to almost everyone. Everyone. There have been countless studies on it as well.

I was referring to physical/psychological differences between genders. Nothing to do with attractiveness at all.

[GlyphGryph]

I don't really blame you for being confused. I know exactly what I am, but explaining it to other people is immensely difficult. Try explaining that you're forced to live as a male in everyone's eyes but you're really a girl when you're explaining stories from your life. It's hard. So, I'll say "gay" to shorthand it and make it something people can sort of get.

I actually understand you pretty well, I think - but my memory has difficulty with clear cut cases. Once there's any ambiguity, the chance of it getting something like pronouns correct is pretty much a crapshoot. Turning the data points "woman. gay. likes men. trans." into an actual, spur of the moment pronoun, is exactly the sort of thing to overwhelm it's meager processing abilities. And it just gives up.

So I understand, yes, but chances are good I wont at any given point in the future, especially if I'm not actively trying to.

Well look who's talking

Difference is that confusion brings me far more joy than any correct pronouns could.

This is obviously the start of a modern highway adventure and hijinks. Gather your party of hilarious compadres and go after her now! The future of the movie industry depends on you!

Nooo, my compadres are all gone! One of them is in your Scandinavia, another has been lost to the Wilds of Vermont, the third has disappeared from the radar, and it may be months or years before I heard from him again, and the last is raging dick!

My illfated but hilarious roadtrip is dead in the water before it begins, as there's no way I can acquire enough new hilarious compadres in time!

[Sowelu]

I just think of Truean as Mulan.

[kaijyuu]

My mental image is a tall dark and handsome guy in a business suit.

Kinda gets wacky with the occasional trying on dresses and such she talks about, but I'm open minded!

[Fenrir]

I see a cat in a hat and a scarf.

I tend to base my impression of someone else by their avatar. I used to think fllqve (spelling?) was a woman for a long time because he had a picture of what I presumed to be a female.

e: As you may have already guessed, you are both ponies.

[kaijyuu]

e: As you may have already guessed, you are both ponies.

/)^3^(\

[Truean]

I don't really blame you for being confused. I know exactly what I am, but explaining it to other people is immensely difficult. Try explaining that you're forced to live as a male in everyone's eyes but you're really a girl when you're explaining stories from your life. It's hard. So, I'll say "gay" to shorthand it and make it something people can sort of get.

I actually understand you pretty well, I think - but my memory has difficulty with clear cut cases. Once there's any ambiguity, the chance of it getting something like pronouns correct is pretty much a crapshoot. Turning the data points "woman. gay. likes men. trans." into an actual, spur of the moment pronoun, is exactly the sort of thing to overwhelm it's meager processing abilities. And it just gives up.

So I understand, yes, but chances are good I wont at any given point in the future, especially if I'm not actively trying to.

And I'm cool with that, because you're trying. Your intentions matter. The words don't and words are often just lip service. Too many people forget that. I do not care what people call me. Many people are rather polite sounding, but are horrid. One of the most utterly contemptuous things I was ever called was, "Miss," by a pissed off sales clerk once. Her eyes and her tone said more than her voice would.

I just think of Truean as Mulan.

You know what? Thank you. Woman trying to be a man cause society makes her feel she has to be. It fits.

My mental image is a tall dark and handsome guy in a business suit.

Kinda gets wacky with the occasional trying on dresses and such she talks about, but I'm open minded!

That's what most of the world sees, I suppose it's a lovely lie? Thankfully I'm slender and manage to be relatively convincing when I can be real, I think. [shrugs] Worked a lot better when I had hair down to my shoulder blades. O well.

I see a cat in a hat and a scarf.

I tend to base my impression of someone else by their avatar. I used to think fllqve (spelling?) was a woman for a long time because he had a picture of what I presumed to be a female.

e: As you may have already guessed, you are both ponies.

I do like that hat and scarf.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

I see a cat in a hat and a scarf.

I tend to base my impression of someone else by their avatar. I used to think fllqve (spelling?) was a woman for a long time because he had a picture of what I presumed to be a female.

e: As you may have already guessed, you are both ponies.

I imagine you as an eldritch abomination in a tophat and monocle.

[penguinofhonor]

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