@Vector
From the sound of it, the problem is that you know who you are, and she only knows who she's trying to be. Unfortunately, trying to be someone like that often involves trying to force changes for no reason other than to fit your life into a 2D image of who a person is; everything gets analyzed in terms of helping meet that archetype, and anything that doesn't... gets dismissed. It may well not be that she thinks you reflect badly on her; it may just be that you're not a part of the life she is chasing. I hope that she realizes that people being unique (since that seems to be a thing she thinks is important) tends to mean not being unique in all the same ways. Dress oddly, normally, or whatever happy medium makes you feel like you; be you in whatever ways that matter. To do otherwise, whether to conform utterly with society for the sake of fitting in or to rebel against it for the sake of fitting in with others who rebel, is to let yourself be ruled by pretty much everyone else, and I hope Thyme recognizes how very nearly identical those courses are.
Disclaimer: The above seems to me as if it misses, slightly, the actual problems you have but I can't quite figure out how to grasp exactly what you're getting at, only that I think I've only superficially addressed anything. That said, I hope that the intent helps, even if the execution is a bit lacking. Particularly since I doubt any of it hasn't occurred to you already.
@Truean
Hate may not be all of it. They're grossly misrepresenting history and trying to make a profit (in dues) off of your work and your name. Being a little vindictive about exploitation like that is a pretty reasonable response, and giving them the option of quitting in advance before you hurt them is a kindness.