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[Vector]

What's wrong with that? Seems to me like they've learned something.

It's the peppy "Oh, I totally wasn't a feminist!  Now I'm a feminist" thing they engage in.  Like... I don't know.  I just don't have the energy anymore to deal with that default attitude, where it's the safe thing to be non-pro-equality.

I sound more angry and outraged than I feel by a long shot.  What I feel is that I'm too tired to hear about these Journeys Into Feminism.  Yeah, I haven't always been progressive, and I've definitely become more so throughout the semester--largely due to self-education.  But I don't feel like it's this thing, where you just self-identify and then it's over with, or where you should run in going "yeah, I'm totally a feminist!"

... It's like those guys who get into Japanese aesthetics, and then say "Oh, I bought it because it was so totally wabisabi."  Sure, I'm discriminating against folks with valley girl accents right there, but in general that diction implies an attitude of Completely Not Getting The Picture.  Especially the "humility" and "asperity" parts of the philosophy.

So... I dunno.  I feel like I've been fighting, and then the fresh wave sort of stumbles in with coffee and donuts still on their breath, and they "Okay, here we are!  Totes ready to be the heroes, now that we've managed to find the place.  Man, it's pretty ugly here."  And I just want to shout "Well, what took you so fucking long, asshats?  Why are you being so self-congratulatory for doing the bare fucking minimum for yourself?  Here I am, figuratively bleeding for you and continuing to fight in this fucking department and all over the place in other places so that your children, and their children, will have more opportunities--and all you have to say is 'ttly feminist now '?  What the fuck is this noise?  Is that just a viewpoint you're holding now that it's cute and conveniently laid out, or are you going to get fighting?  Have you even been thinking about this, or do you just eat the slightly-higher-brow intellectual food that anyone puts in front of you?"

But I don't say that.

Anyway, that's why I'm upset.  I am tired of people being so oblivious, and so insensitive.

I am more tired because I am going to give a presentation on the mental health industry at large, focusing on "intelligence" and the autistic subculture.  I am afraid that either a. I am going to stand up there and my speech centers will totally crap out, as occurs sometimes, or b. I am going to have to stand down due to opposing argument, because it will either be stand down or blow my top off big time.

I'm carefully planning this so that neither of those eventualities will occur, if I am lucky.  But I would like to not feel like something huge is riding on this presentation.  I would like to be able to show a clip from a cute movie that I enjoyed, or to bring in some music, or, you know... something fun.  But I'll be providing links to Homestuck and the Hetalia archives (plus a certain amount of necessary explanation) when I post in their forums, and so on, and instead I am going to do my best to shock the foundations of their understanding in my 15 minutes of glory.  This can't be left up to chance.

*sigh*

I just wish I didn't feel like I had to.  This isn't about a grade anymore--none of it is.  It's about something bigger than that.

[Vattic]

The weather is lovely but due to a long night of hard work I'm exhausted and will have to sleep through the best of it.

[Haspen]

It was sunny and warm at me when I was doing house work and some garden stuff and cleaning, so I was motivated that I will have a pleasant walk when I'm done with stuff.

Then when I wanted to go on a walk...

It started raining.

[Lysabild]

The prospect of ending up on the street, as is very likely if I don't pull myself together. Denmark is great and I've lived freely off the state for 3 years, but I've had no results of betterment or gone anywhere in that time, no jobs, no school.

I don't think I'll ever commit suicide, but I can stand by a road or by a trainrail and look down for hours and eachtime something passes I actually try to move myself out, I envision it so perfectly in my mind how it'll be, each step there.

I'm literally on my last stretch to get better now, but it feels so hard not just giving up and letting it happen. My family looks at me and their eyes are sad, they say

"Kenni, you're not stupid you have so many qualities why are you wasting it?" and all I can say is
"I don't know, I guess I'm not suited for this life."

My brother is Schizo and refuses to better his life, he might die of fatness soon enough and he didn't even show up on Mom's birthday.

My grandpa looked at me after yesterdays herring dinner and said "All I want for my birthday is for you and your brother to be here." He looked like he could cry while saying it.

I.. I just hope he'll get off his fat ass for Grandpa's birthday. Grandpa doesn't deserve anything less than everyone there, especially not after losing Grandma 1½ years ago.

Not even mentioning my sister who I almost lost because of bone eating parasites in her ear that might return or my mother operation for her obesity.

I know luck is fictional, but I still can't help but think that my family could use it.

[Max White]

*Programming*
*Tap tap tap*
*Laptop runs out of power*

It was my own fault, and I know it, and it tears me up inside. So much beautiful work lost.

[Euld]

WoW account got hacked, forgot my new password to my email, and had to get Ad-Aware to find a trojan that Avast! couldn't find, ugh.  I just want to be a normal person, why do these hackers and viruses have to keep messing up my things ._.

[Angel Of Death]

I went to sleep after hitting the 24 hour mark.

I could only sleep for about 6 hours.

Now I cannot sleep at all. It's almost midnight.

WoW account got hacked, forgot my new password to my email, and had to get Ad-Aware to find a trojan that Avast! couldn't find, ugh.  I just want to be a normal person, why do these hackers and viruses have to keep messing up my things ._.

I think my curse passed onto you. I used to have all of this shit happen to me.

[Erkki]

The prospect of ending up on the street, as is very likely if I don't pull myself together. Denmark is great and I've lived freely off the state for 3 years, but I've had no results of betterment or gone anywhere in that time, no jobs, no school.

I don't think I'll ever commit suicide, but I can stand by a road or by a trainrail and look down for hours and eachtime something passes I actually try to move myself out, I envision it so perfectly in my mind how it'll be, each step there.

I'm literally on my last stretch to get better now, but it feels so hard not just giving up and letting it happen. My family looks at me and their eyes are sad, they say

"Kenni, you're not stupid you have so many qualities why are you wasting it?" and all I can say is
"I don't know, I guess I'm not suited for this life."

My brother is Schizo and refuses to better his life, he might die of fatness soon enough and he didn't even show up on Mom's birthday.

My grandpa looked at me after yesterdays herring dinner and said "All I want for my birthday is for you and your brother to be here." He looked like he could cry while saying it.

I.. I just hope he'll get off his fat ass for Grandpa's birthday. Grandpa doesn't deserve anything less than everyone there, especially not after losing Grandma 1½ years ago.

Not even mentioning my sister who I almost lost because of bone eating parasites in her ear that might return or my mother operation for her obesity.

I know luck is fictional, but I still can't help but think that my family could use it.

Besides this forum, do you have anyone real to talk to?

I wont advice you to keep trying, hoping, but do that, talk to someone, preferably someone you trust. Now. Thats an order.

[Nivim]

September of 08 or 09. nvidia 9800gtx+ is the model of it; got it when the nvidia's 280's were top of the line and 9800's were second (at least as far as nvidia cards).

I think I had something similar that died while playing Minecraft.

If you can't manage a fix and you get a new one try baking it in an oven. It apparently sometimes works.

This is something you need to be very careful with; it does work, but it shouldn't be your first or second option. I did some research on the matter, and found this wonderful little guide. It makes the important point that you shouldn't use the same oven you're going to eat out of for this.

In other news, it turns out my hormone treatment stopped having effect, so my testosterone levels reverted to very low. So now my doctor wants me to get a shot of it instead.. I'm not sure why, but the thought makes me very uncomfortable. I think I'm going to have to cancel the appointment.. Or at least put it up for some time. I don't know.

How was this ~condition even noticed in the first place? At a glance, it sounds like something that wouldn't cause harm or require fixing.

WoW account got hacked, forgot my new password to my email, and had to get Ad-Aware to find a trojan that Avast! couldn't find, ugh.  I just want to be a normal person, why do these hackers and viruses have to keep messing up my things ._.

You probably aught to a couple scanners better than those, like Malwarebytes for occasional scans and this site for individual files (don't try using to scan entire sites unless you have something that allows you to track all the pieces of that site). Having an ad-blocker around also significantly cuts down on the number of infections you get, and having a script blocker cuts them down even farther (blocker all Java until you specifically allow it is the best).

I know luck is fictional, but I still can't help but think that my family could use it.

In nethack, you're "luck" score seems like a stat of magical power, but it never actually goes up or down depending on spells or abilities. It goes up when you (your character) do things you think are right, and it goes down when you do things you think are wrong.
 Luck is something you shouldn't dismiss entirely just because it's in your head, and if you're as luck-poor as you sound, you haven't really dismissed it, just emptied it.

[Angel Of Death]

I've fucked up my whole sleeping cycle

It's 2:49 AM and I just woke up a few hours ago.

[Criptfeind]

Thats not so bad. Only five or so hours off normal.

[Angel Of Death]

Thats not so bad. Only five or so hours off normal.

I've only had about 6 hours sleep, though.

[Criptfeind]

That’s not so bad. I almost always only sleep for five to six hours.

[Gorjo MacGrymm]

This makes me very sad:

http://www.popehat.com/2011/04/19/in-the-year-two-hundred-forty-two-thousand-shes-alive-and-well-and-fighting-daleks/

Goodbye Elisabeth Sladen, or shall I call you Sarah Jane Smith?

[Urist is dead tome]

How was this ~condition even noticed in the first place? At a glance, it sounds like something that wouldn't cause harm or require fixing.

Low testosterone levels can really screw you up.