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[Grim Portent]

Severe dementia kind of limits any mental coping mechanisms, unfortunately.

Even getting her to let me lift her leg back into bed when she had it dangling was basically impossible to get her to understand, she would just squeal in pain and tell me to stop.

[wobbly]

my condolenses. I hope she has has the most of her final hours /days /weeks
/

[Grim Portent]

I think she's still physically got months left in her, but she's definitely closing in on the end mentally. She's lost the ability to dress herself and go to the bathroom without help in the last couple of weeks.

Big heartbreak for me is its getting harder to remember what she was like before, not that I have the best memory for that sort of thing anyway.

[wobbly]

I think she's still physically got months left in her, but she's definitely closing in on the end mentally. She's lost the ability to dress herself and go to the bathroom without help in the last couple of weeks.

Big heartbreak for me is its getting harder to remember what she was like before, not that I have the best memory for that sort of thing anyway.

  I I
Yeah I look at my parents and they are close to this age. Dad, still thinks no one is speaking, clearly,  no it's because you are now old and deaf. I don't know what I will do, I mean I do, I'll continue just like I always did. But still. Memories are hard, I had a dream other day, where I was a kid, that'll still exist.

[wobbly]

I think she's still physically got months left in her, but she's definitely closing in on the end mentally. She's lost the ability to dress herself and go to the bathroom without help in the last couple of weeks.

Big heartbreak for me is its getting harder to remember what she was like before, not that I have the best memory for that sort of thing anyway.

  I I
Yeah I look at my parents and they are close to this age. Dad, still thinks no one is speaking, clearly,  no it's because you are now old and deaf. I don't know what I will do, I mean I do, I'll continue just like I always did. But still. Memories are hard, I had a dream other day, where I was a kid, that'll still exist.

[wobbly]

Been drinking more than I should, lately. When I was younger I used to enjoy it, now, it feels like a way I cope with my job being basically modern slavery, and the people around me casually and blissfully ignoring it because, well... it's not rotten, and it's not a problem if it's not happening to you.

Been a problem, for me for a long time, but not so much a problem when I was younger, because the body coped? These days, it's like the liver and kidneys have coped so much punishment they don't cope, they let me know the next day.

Mix of sad, apologies for when I post and maybe shouldn't, and some resentment/anger that society has became as disgusting as it has.

[Truean]

Please do not quote

Not legal advice. If you take legal advice online, then you are stupid.

An idiot brother will be an idiot in prison now, likely for 10 years. Meanwhile his badly planned for family is screwed. Little to be done. Not familiar to them.
Considering helping the 18 year old. Potentially difficult, frustrating, and dependent largely upon if he listens/obeys/learns from me and rejects his imprisoned dad.
Middling grades (an accomplishment given his father), no trade or skills, and as yet no criminal records (which I would certainly know if it existed).
Gen Z has it hard, as did/do Millennials. Rent, food, etc is high. His dad did him no favors. Not military material. He has no prospects, exactly as I feared.
Possibly a room, maybe an old car, and lessons if he shuts up and learns  from me. Don't know rent would be charged, but conditions apply, perhaps:

1.) I'm disabled; mow the lawn/keep up the small yard. Speak to my nurse and tell me what she says behind my back. (I record her, but want a witness).
2.) No drugs; no smoking; no alcohol (He's under 21 and the local law hates that anyhow). Your mind is to be clear if only for your own benefit. Probably rare armory locker access only with prior permission, NRA safety course/license, and clear, disassemble, assemble, and perform functions check procedure under my strict instruction.
3.) No criminal activity; represented all of them anyhow, know every prosecutor, police officer, bailiff, PO and judge, so I'll know. And yes, they'll let me know.
4.) Have use of [car description] within set reasonable standards and will maintain insurance (I can secure discounts) and gas. Learn to drive from me, yes even if you know already. Situational awareness, bearing, option weighing, etc. It's all about safe driving while you save up and keep your record clean/insurance costs low. Also thought.
4.) Slowly build skills for self sufficiency (cooking, laundry, basic repairs and projects, painting, cleaning, etc.).
5.) Local employment. Can assist with this in multiple ways and develop a career plan. Keep me informed of everything and set up a professional network/references.
6.) You go on my health insurance until you are 26; I claim you as a dependent legally on taxes and address lingering juvenile matters directly. Did that for years.
7.) Taught directly by me for 2 hours a week on anatomy, physiology, psychology, psychopharmacology, healthcare, logic, philosophy, writing, finance, operations, etc. and put forth a good faith effort/ do reasonable assignments. Additionally, trade school/military/higher education is to be considered in good faith, though not required.
8.) Attend veterans' /  charity events with me and participate, including learning the officer positions/operations. Networking opportunity. Behave well. Learn. 
9.)  15% of your paycheck is to be deposited in a legal trust bank account I control for your express benefit. Pay stubs inspected; interest bearing acct. Terms apply.
10.)  Participate in therapy with a psychologist 1/week. Insurance covers. Basic progress reports authorized. I know my brother....
11.) Actively read a book in addition to the texts I will read with you/teach you on.
12.) Be damn grateful for the opportunity. Saving thousands, building a future, and having an actual chance. 8 years (26-18) of good health insurance and learning things most people will never even hear, much less understand. You'll thank me when you have a job, money in an account,  possibly even a foreclosure house to fix up, several good references and a credit score with no criminal record, no divorce/child support and an actual shot at life. You gotta shut up and listen and build it up first though.

Not final, obviously. Probably others. Goal being turning his life around. His father's footsteps lead to prison; if he follows them, then he'll end up there.
Follow him; follow me, or good luck making your own path.

Probably his only real chance; otherwise he's screwed. Far more than anyone gave me. Large part of me doesn't even want the hassle/never asked for this.

One of his younger brothers could possibly do well in the Navy and there is an ROTC program if he wants/the possibility of an academy reference.
Sister worries me. Other issues abound. There's probably not a lot I can do about the rest of his siblings at the moment, but it might be an offer if he's smart enough to take it and not mess it up. I wish like hell somebody did that for me; but I basically got the opposite. Not sure if he'll realize doing it and sticking to it is the best thing for him.

Please do not quote

[Magmacube_tr]

Just show him my posts and tell him that he will end up like me if he doesn't takes your offer. He will take one look and come running to you.

[Robot Parade Leader]

God damn, where was somebody like that when I was 18? My parents made me work for them and took money out of me for drinking.

T stepping up when everyone else fails again.

Are you actually talking about giving him housing health insurance, and finding a job and all that? Holy shit, I hope he gets how awesome that is. 

[wobbly]

Good luck. Short story, I had a friend who I had to cut out of my life, because it reached a point, where what I was doing wasn't actually helping, but they were destroying my life, and it broke me to do it. Luckily they weren't family. I hope you never have to make that decision here, but if you do, I hope you make the right decision. I hope your story works out better for you, and your family member.