My life turned into a new script for the Coen Brothers.
Yesterday, me and my father went to a restaurant. He wears a tooth-plate now, partial-dentures to fill in for his missing teeth, and hates them with a passion. He also takes them out when eating, and wrapped them in a napkin for safe keeping. Naturally, they went in the trash with the rest of the napkins at the end of the meal, and neither of us realized this until that night.
He calls the restaurant to ask the impossible - for a minimum wage fry cook to take time out of this weekend to go dumpster diving for someone's false teeth. The impossible becomes easy when he promises to pay $100 to each of the three guys on staff. Lo and behold, the same guy calls back 30 minutes later saying he's got the teeth and he'll handle the money. The guy, named "Hyma" (or something phonetically similar) gives him a very cagey itinerary of where and how to meet up for the exchange. For the slow witted, this means he told his coworkers nothing and would pocket the whole $300 himself, a gross breach of staff friendship and store policy. Dad didn't care, as long as he got his teeth back.
So Dad tries to get me to go take care of this nasty, expensive errand for him, and tells "Hyma" to look for someone of my description (specifically, a hippie). Then decides he might as well come with me. We have conversation on the way over-
Me: "So he wants you, or rather me, who he knows will be coming with $300 in pocket, to meet in an alley away from the store. I'll bet you that $300 that there won't be any teeth, but instead homies waiting for us."
Aq Sr.: "Well, my plan was, if we meet him in this alley and he's got the teeth and we don't see anybody, we'll just give him the bum's rush, take the teeth and keep the money."
We arrive to find that Hyma managed to flake out on the $300, and now we talk to his manager (never mentioning the money), to try to find him. Then we get more cagey phone calls from both these flakes about how to meet up and get the teeth again. And suddenly it's a three-way inner city face-off to between some fast food clerks and a father/son team of hippies, to see who can mug who the fastest for three hundred dollars and some dentures.
The resolution wasn't nearly so interesting as the Big Lebowski setup, but I just kept thinking, how the fuck did this happen?
Also, I bought a Jesus Christ Action Figure. Glow-in-the-dark hands, turns water into wine, 5 loaves and fish to feed 5000, and karate chop action.
Author
Topic: [MILK] There were 12 eggs here what did you do with them? (Happy thread?!) (Read 15886525 times)