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Author Topic: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?  (Read 4382 times)

zchris13

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Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« on: May 09, 2009, 08:32:54 pm »
Those stupid elves just decided to CRAWL, literally, (yeah, known bug), to my debot, and when I checked what they had brought:

Cloth.  Bin after bin of CLOTH.  21 bins of cloth, along with 3 more pieces of random cloth just lying there, outside of bins.  I have heard of them bringing nothing but berries or something, but just cloth? Weird.

NOTHING BUT CLOTH!!!

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LegoLord

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2009, 08:52:26 pm »
GCS . . . oh wait, elves, not deep elves.

Nothing of any value.  I had to steal the awesome exotic pets from them.  The SOBs.
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Quote from: Vlynndar on April 02, 2009, 03:36:26 pm
"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Quote from: Vester on October 10, 2009, 10:10:11 pm
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Liwjatan

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2009, 09:02:53 pm »
Cages.Lots of them.Decorated with corpses of animals.Ah yes,starting a fortress on glaciers..
You have to admire their spirit to travel thorugh hundreds of miles of vast empty space of seemingly endless ice just to have their <Rope Reed thread> taken away from them.Wait,what,admire?What those punny elves are doing is just plain stupid.Pfeh..silly elves..

Just before anyone can do the oh so obvious joke;Bones.And skulls.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2009, 09:45:47 pm »
laughter and cougars. At the same time.
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The Mad Engineer

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2009, 10:04:16 pm »
An emblem, apparently...

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zchris13

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2009, 10:06:43 pm »
Quote from: The Mad Engineer on May 09, 2009, 10:04:16 pm
An emblem, apparently...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
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Felius

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2009, 10:13:27 pm »
Quote from: zchris13 on May 09, 2009, 10:06:43 pm
Quote from: The Mad Engineer on May 09, 2009, 10:04:16 pm
An emblem, apparently...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Wait, is it a dead elf?
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Skorpion

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2009, 10:44:57 pm »
Breeding pairs of black bears, grizzly bears, and jaguars. And a single cougar.
Plus extracts and clothing to sell to the humans in summer, and literally more rope reed cloth than I know what to do with.
And some lovely elf, camel, and muskox skull totems to sell, as well.

All taken by 'force', thanks to my wind-powered elf-drowning system.
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The *large serrated steel disk* strikes the Raven in the head, tearing apart the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing apart the brain!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.

The Mad Engineer

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2009, 10:46:24 pm »
Quote from: zchris13 on May 09, 2009, 10:06:43 pm
Quote from: The Mad Engineer on May 09, 2009, 10:04:16 pm
An emblem, apparently...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

If it's any consolation, they don't know better.  It's year 1 after all.  They probably don't even know what an elf looks like.
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Bricks

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2009, 11:08:17 pm »
Only thing I've ever bought was wood, on a fairly sparse plains map.  And 50% of the time, I accidentally, somehow, trade something that once brushed up against a dwarf that saw a tree, and they just FLIP OUT.  Now I look for maps with at least one speck of a heavily forested biome.

Only thing they ever seem to have is, yes, cloth.  What the hell are they thinking?  The moat of magma should have implied that this was not a department store.
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Fossaman

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #10 on: May 09, 2009, 11:16:11 pm »
Giant Desert Scorpions, Sun Berries, and Rhesus macaques.

Because there's no wrong way to eat a rhesus.
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Hagadorn

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2009, 11:44:00 pm »
wood...


Lots and Lots of wood.

I love my elves... as much as it possible to love the horrific cannibal tree hugging retards
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Quote from: warlordzephyr on June 26, 2009, 12:19:06 pm
You see, booze is a parasite. It lives off dwarves and compels them to dig into the ground so as to create massive defences to protect it's self. It really shouldn't be called dwarf fortress, Booze fortress would make much more sense.

They Got Leader

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #12 on: May 09, 2009, 11:48:18 pm »
Best one ever: wounded cougar.

However, turns out that the cougar liked the taste of dwarf flesh... stupid elves... damn their tricksiness
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Royal Surveyor

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #13 on: May 09, 2009, 11:53:20 pm »
The elves bring me caged animals, occasional training implements.

And when I'm bored, blood for the Blood God.
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azrael4h

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Re: Stupid Elves. What have the elves brought YOU?
« Reply #14 on: May 09, 2009, 11:55:16 pm »
They bring me food, large exotic critters, food, and wood. And cloth. Lots and lots of cloth. All "donated" to the cause of keeping my forts running. At least I can keep my dwarves in fresh, high quality clothes. I end up with so much cloth and leather that I could make everyone legendary on those respective skills.
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